Good time come on, come on everyone together summer feels fit forever come on, come on everyone together its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight sicko de mayo. Plus, stephen welcomes stephen king and musical guest sheryl crow featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its stephen colbert. Stephen oh, hi and welcome to a late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. Happy Cinco De Mayo to all of our mexican, mexicanamerican, and mexicurious viewers. I just want to say, have a wonderful day, in spanish. Cinco de mayo is really handy this year, because its the first time ive been sure of the date in two months. Thanks to Cinco De Mayo, i know its the cinco of mayo. But this tweet i posted last Cinco De Mayo has not aged well happy Cinco De Mayo 2019 i cant wait to go to a crowded bar and get some corona in me oh, big news from the endangered world of listening to scientists, because we learnedts to wind down the Coronavirus Task force. No dont do t
Dont get me wrong, i mean, people are still going to die of boredom it is baseball, after all but, thankfully, theyre safe from corona. I have one question why are the fake people Wearing Masks . It just seems unnecessary. America has already shown that if youre a person made out of cardboard, you dont need to wear a mask. Also, i hope they told the announcer that those fans are made out of paper. Otherwise, that guy is going to freak out. Oh, my god that ball just went through a guys chest. Oh, my god, why isnt anybody helping him and that was really creative how they put that kid in a giant bubble baseball. Maybe they should do that with other sports, like in the n. F. L. Put every player in a bubble, then when they get tackled, the ball bounces into the stands, and the fans get to punch the bubble back onto the field. Tell me that doesnt sound like a fun sport. And you solved the concussion problem. Roger goodell, call me. In other news, one of the most inspiring things during these
So thats probably fine, right lets get to the news. Vice president mike pence is facing criticism after he toured a coronavirus testing facility yesterday without wearing a face mask but he might be okay, because looking at him, he drinks plenty of bleach. Hillary clinton endorsed former Vice President joe biden yesterday during a virtual town hall and this is nice, she even virtually smiled how nice for him following the news that the number of coronavirus cases in the u. S. Has surpassed one million, President Trump yesterday defended his february prediction that the number of infections would soon reach zero, adding, in fact a million has like six zeros, so when you think about it i was extra correct. An abc News Reporter appeared on Good Morning America yesterday without wearing pants while broadcasting from home pfft rookie mistake, bro. The trick is use a desk. [ knocking ] ah, old deskie fighter jets from the air force thunderbirds and Navy Blue Angels performed a joint flyover
Anyway, story gave me a whole just keep that in mind when new appreciation for my nonlethal wasps who im almost reading hotness surveys. Certain arent murder hornets in in a radio interview last week, disguise although one of them new York Governor Andrew Cuomo keeps telling me im pretty and bringing me trinkets was asked if he was still an eligible bachelor. And based on every true crime doc ive watched on netflix, though i think he made that that is a a red flag. Clear at his last press conference but to thank them for not being a strip club in oregon is murder hornets, i have added a offering a drivethrough experience for customers in the few of the wasps to the writing parking lot during the coronavirus pandemic staff which we think will help you know its bad when a strip give the show some good buzz i told you that joke was a dud, club is following safety charlie. Guidelines better than the vice put your stinger away, charlie president. Although in his defense, i bet not today. It
Which is ok i guess. I guess its better than nothing. When i was in high school, i had an isolation prom too. Everyone else went to the prom. I stayed home and played my clarinet. And while we may be isolated, it would seem we are not alone. As if we didnt have enough to worry about right in the middle of this, at the moment we are totally focused on the virus and quarantine and whether or not we should be mainlining lysol, the pentagon releases official video of ufos. Thats right. What you are about to see are ufos. They are unidentified flying objects that no one, not even the pilots who saw and tracked them, has an explanation for. Theres a whole fleet of them. Look on the sa. My gosh theyre all going against the wind. The winds 120 knots west. Look at that thing, thats not that is look at that thing its rotating. Jimmy perfect. Just what we need. Has there ever been a worse time for an alien to say take me to your leader . I think id just lead him to, like, Morgan Freemans house. T