This planet is going to purel in a handbasket. So they just identified the first case of this new coronavirus here in the state of california, and its mysterious, because the person who got it didnt go anywhere or come into contact with anyone who traveled from one of these viral hotspots overseas. Last night i ordered post mates, and before i opened the door i made the delivery guy spray himself down with the hose. This is how theyre cracking down on the virus in had china. Theyve deployed Remote Control tanks that shoot disinfectant onto the citizenry. Its of, that should clear it up. Its a lysol roomba. But we dont have that. President trump is concerned, not necessarily for health reasons, but because the dow was down almost 1200 points today, its what the worst oneday drop ever in the history of the stock market and a soft economy could hurt his chances for reelection. Its virus versus virus right now. So yesterday trump put mike pence on the case. The New York Times reported he p
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests senator Bernie Sanders Angela Basset comedian isabel hagen and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1223 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness wow. Thank you i love you im so happy youre here welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everyone [ cheers and applause thank you for being here thank you for thank you for watching, everybody. You guys, were so glad hes here Bernie Sanders is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause senator and this is nice backstage he said that he watches me every night when he gets up to pee isnt that nice . [ laughter ] i thought that was so i thought that was last night was super tuesday 2. 0, and it was a rough one for bernie the only person who had a worse night was the bachelors mom, barb oh, my god [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause steve wow. Jimmy well, guys, everyone is still talking about the coronavirus. Now listen to this i saw tha
Major events are being canceled, postponed. The tax deadline may even be postponed. Theyre thinking about pushing tax day past april 15th. Jeff bezos heard that and said, wow, whats tax day . The ncaa announced that march madness will go on but with no fans. There will be no spectators, outside of the players families. They should also consider playing without a ball. Thats just a petri the warriors will be playing without a crowd. But basketball games in the pros have been played without fans before. The clippers did it for many years. [ applause ] and in part, in part because of all these cancellations, a lot of people dont seem to know what to think about the coronavirus, what to feel. Should i be scared . Are people overreacting . Whats true, whats not true . Its totally normal to feel that way. Many have the same thoughts. So i thought this might help. These are the five stages of coronavirus, so first you have denial. Im not going to get the coronavirus. Only old people, Chinese
Oooh, it looks like someone passed out on the Steering Wheel again. Get the poking stick, connie. There you go. Give him a good jab. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight wednesday night fever. Plus, stephen welcomes hank azaria and Suzy Nakamura featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo you cant catch me cheers and applause stephen ladies and gentlemen, friends, neighbors, countried men. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Is eerve you sound good. You people sound good. Is everybody okay tonight . Yeah stephen im glad to hear that, this coronavirus, jon, its making people anxious. People are really nervous. But at a time like this, we all need to laugh and to be together. From a distance of about 20 feet, Something Like that. Quick programming note, starting on monday and this is true out of an abundance of caution, the late show along wi
Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight super news day plus, stephen welcomes anthony mackie. And Susan Glasser. With a special appearance by David Alan Grier. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey how you doing, friendo . cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody. Hows it going . Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen good to see you. Very nice. Happy tuesday. Happy tuesday. Whoa thats nice. cheers and applause thank you very much. Thank you up there. Thank you down there. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome. Welcome, my friends, to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause tonight jon super tuesday stephen you know, you know, people are excited because tonight is the night its super tuesday, the biggest haul the biggest haul of the primary season, where tonight the lions share of the ga someone, i assume