Warren was an incredibly competent, pragmatic, intelligent, and wellspoken in other words, she never had a chance [ laughter ] thats right, Elizabeth Warren is dropping out of the president ial race. And it kind of feels like when your favorite teacher retires. Youre sad to see her go, but also happy for her because she doesnt have to deal with your annoying classmates anymore. [ laughter ] republican congressman matt gaetz wore a gas mask on the floor of the house of representatives yesterday while voting on funding to combat the coronavirus. I mean, look at him. [ laughter ] he looks like bane on a job interview. [ laughter ] where do i see myself in five years . Killing the batman, of course. [ laughter ] according to reports, disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein underwent heart surgery last night and will be transferred to Rikers Island prison when he recovers in that case, get well soon, harvey [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause mariah carey has postponed a concert in hawaii thi
[ cheers and applause its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. Jimmy wow. Thank you very much, everybody hello. [ cheers and applause thank you so much, everybody and welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause thank you very much. Well, guys, today is super tuesday. Its such an important day for our country. Thats right, millions of americans went into the polls, stepped into a voting booth and went, eh, i guess. Dont get mad. Get e trade, dawg. [ laughter ] actually, people were pumped for today. Democrats havent been this excited since the 800 times President Trump was almost removed from office. [ laughter ] thats right, today was super tuesday. 14 states voted and over magnum ice cream double caramel. 1,300 delegates were up for grabs. And good news, once super tuesday is over, there is now in ice cream tubs and bars. Only eight more months until the election we do it every night. No every night. I live alone
Coronavirus. That story again, several states are fighting coronavirus by asking people to put their saliva in the mail [ laughter and applause just send it out, just get it out of there [ cheers and applause former new york mayor Mike Bloomberg said yesterday that he would vote for senator Bernie Sanders if he was the would not be happy doing it. Yeah we know. Youre [ laughter ] daniel tonight, on a youre never happy little late with Lilly Singh Lilly you know what men do [ light laughter ] when theyre feeling overweight . You always look like youre on they just come up with cool, new your way either to or from a names for it, like dad bod. [ light laughter ] colonoscopy. Daniel and lilly Erin Moriarty from the boys. [ laughter ] you discovered that on instagram, someone follows you msnbc anchor Chris Matthews yes lilly and that person is, abruptly announced his casually, drake. Retirement yesterday following a string of recent controversies was like, youre lying. And onair gaffes. I
[ laughter ] for me the biggest takeaway on election day is how can anybody possibly have such a clean garage . I dont understand it. I go into these old peoples homes, and i think wheres your stuff . California has more delegates than any state. And i dont know if it was like this where you live, but we have been overwhelmed by advertising, mostly from mike bloomberg. The amount of mail weve been getting from mike bloomberg, its unbelievable. He is the Bed Bath Beyond of candidates. One of our writers came home from work last night to find this hanging on his door. This is another ad for mike bloomberg. Even his ads are too short to reach above the doorknob. Mike bloomberg has poured more than 500 million of his own money into this campaign. If he didnt have a good night tonight, he basically spent the cost of an avatar movie to find out nobody likes him. He did win he won American Samoa today, the election there. Biden won North Carolina and virginia. Bernie took vermont and expected
Its the late show live with Stephen Colbert tonight, des moines kids. Plus stephen welcomes, live, mayor Michael Bloomberg, featuring, live, jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen come on its live, baby cheers and applause hey how are you come on happy live happy tuesday happy live beautiful hello, my friends whats up there . Jon very nice. Brocade. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you very much. Hey, everybody, look at that, live hi, chris. Hey, everybody, please please, have a seat. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. And as you can see, as you can see right there, we are live. Tonight was the last last debate before democratic voting starts in february. So, after two years of campaigning, seven debates, 28 Democratic Candidates, and one truly exhausted husk of a late night host, we have made it to almost starting the election. Remind me to