The address was hillary clintons. [ light laughter ] President Trump this morning accused last nights strike by iran on u. S. Targets as being funded by money given to them under the obamaera nuclear deal man, is there anything he wont blame obama for . Mulligan, thats obamas fault. [ light laughter ] the u. S. Army issued a warning yesterday about a fraudulent Text Message Campaign claiming to draft recipients for world war iii. Come on. If you get drafted youre not going to get a text. Youll youll get a tweet [ laughter ] prince harry and duchess Meghan Markle announced on instagram this afternoon that theyre stepping away from the royal family and moving to canada, or as it was reported in british tabloids, meghan kidnapped harry [ light laughter ] prince harry and duchess Meghan Markle also announced they will quote work to become financially independent. While william and kate announced theyve sold the queen and theyre going to cabo. [ laughter ] after laying off her entire Campai
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Martin Lawrence, Matthew Lopez and kyle soller, musical guest karol g. And featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1185 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my goodness, hello. Hi welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it. Thank you very much. Happy friday happy friday well, you guys, the nfl playoffs are in full swing and there are so many big matchups this weekend you have the vikings versus the 49ers. You have seahawks versus packers. And you have prince harry versus the royal family. And [ cheers and applause but listen to this, i heard that the Green Bay Packers are asking for 700 volunteers to come to the stadium and shovel snow [ light laughter ] that story again, 700 people who live off of brats and cheese are volunteering for a heart attack [ laughter ] its not just the nfl in action on monday. Its the Big College
Conduct in office. All right, cool, but, you worked super closely with him for almost two years this is like, leaving a hospital job and saying, oh, by the way, dr. Friedman never washed his hands. [ laughter ] why are you just telling us now . Did dancing with the stars not call you back . I cant believe im going to say this, but i have more respect for scaramucci that dude was there for a week and a half, but hes been out here warning us about trump for two years. So [ laughter and applause so why dont you put your face back in your hand and carry it out to the garbage President Trump hinted yesterday that he may pardon his former adviser roger stone who was convicted as part of the russia investigation. Oh, come on, roger stone doesnt get pardoned from prison he escapes from it i mean, look at him. [ laughter ] like a 60s batman villain if he does get pardoned, this is what it will look like [ laughter ] attorney general [ applause ] attorney general william barr said in an intervie
Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight mr. Schiff goes to washington. Plus, stephen welcomes john mulaney. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on oh hey, nice to see you lovely. Hey, everybody, please, have a seat. Good to see you. Happy wednesday. Happy hump day, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause it is day two oh, the excitement in the air. Everybody knows its day two of Donald Trumps Senate Impeachment trial. And if Mitch Mcconnell if Mitch Mcconnell has his way, this trial will go just like Donald Trumps dating career quick and disappointing, and no questions asked. Also, i would like 130,000 to forget i ever met him. And i will tell you all about it in tonights don and giant impeach. Hes such a pain in the ass. laughter stephen now. laughter once again, the lead manager of the
Captain coverup, Mitch Mcconnells hoping to have it all wrapped up by tomorrow. Mitch mcconnell has done everything he can to kill this, despite the fact that the majority of the country, 53 of americans say they are increasingly convinced that donald trump did something wrong. The poll was done by researchers at noduh university. But the president s lawyers have argued that not only did he not do anything wrong he literally cannot do anything wrong. Ojs guy, Alan Dershowitz says if he does something that he thinks will help him get elected, that could not result in impeachment. Hes basically saying his reelection is in our best interest. By that logic, he could start eating bald eagles for breakfast saying i need my strength for the campaign trail. Tomorrow they will vote on whether to allow witnesses at the trial. Metropoli they keep arguing that if they have the right to call their witnesses, trump will have the right to call his witnesses, too. Yeah, right, thats how trials work. T