My special election fallout shelter which is stocked with everything i need. Ive got a bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean my hands and another bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean the other bottle of Hand Sanitizer. If the power goes down, i have board games, i have a boom box over there and something close to a playstation. Most importantly, ive got this place locked down tight. This election fallout shelter is grade 5 military bunker level which means its impenetrable to nuclear weapons, Chemical Attacks and even the most roy wood, jr. Hey, whats up . Trevor how did you get into my election fallout shelter. Im doing the show live. This is top security, what are you doing . I got your password, wakanda 123. Trevor dont say it out loud. You want me to leave . Trevor no, youre in the bubble. Did you get tested . No, aint got no 5g in my neighborhood. Im good. Trevor you should still get tested. Its a joke, calm down, affect. Trevor i cant calm down on a night like tonight. Ready for Electio
The greatest fraud in the history of elections. Theres no way you can go through a mailin vote without massive cheating. The blat ballots are lost, frau, theft, all over the place. China, north korea, iran, these countries can grab those ballots or print forgeries. People get the ballots and hand them to people down the strait. Theyre mailin ballots and they send them to anybody. Two or three were sent to dogs, one sent to a cat. Trevor holy shit, guys, trump is freaking out. People are cheating, cats and dogs getting ballots. If im perfectly honest, i dont mind dogs voting but cats, you cant trust them for shit those assholes will vote for jill stein just to mess with us meow trump stories about kids and Foreign Countries rigging the election sound pretty terrifyin hey, kid, go get ballot from mailbox and i will reward you with delicious russian candy. Its frozen onion. Regardless of how it happens, trumps goal is to stir up fear about fraud, and if you commit fraud, youre going down,
Trevor this is so unfair. Parrots just repeat what they hear, so if theyre cursing, its not their fault. Its the zookeepers fault for letting them watch the president ial debate. By the way, we hear the parrots cursing because they can learn english. You realize other animals are cursing all the time, too, right . Theyre all locked in prison. Thats what a zoo is, and they didnt even chit crimes. Every time you hear a lion roar, its another one going i want my ~bleep its the circle of life why is the zoo removing the parrots . Are you insane . This sounds by far like the best zoo you can go into. You know where i can see a bird that doesnt curse . Literally anywhere. I get you want to shield the children from it, make it an adults part of the zoo. Do you remember president obama, yeah, is nice guy america was with before she got catfished . Well for people who missed the 44th president of the United States, heres a way you can keep a little piece of him with you at all times. Rare items
Somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick can it off with subway, the most popular place to eat after losing a custody battle. While america may love subway, looks like some other countries are having a hard time swallowing it. Subway one of the most recognizable sandwich shops was told its not even serving bread, at least according to ireland ireland Supreme Court. The Supreme Court said the sandwiches like the meatball sub doesnt have bread because its coo sugar ri. Ireland awrves a zero tax rate for certain foods like regular bread if it meets certain requirements. Trevor are you serious . According to irelands Supreme Court, subway bread is not actually bread because its too sugary and i am willing to bet subway is happy to have this be their big controversy. Yep, our bread is too sweet. Thats the scandal you should think about when you think absubway. Make it the sop search result for subway scandal. We deserve it sweet bre
Somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with donald trump, the first president whos a nonessential worker. Yesterday a tape dropped of an interview he did with bob woodward in february where he admitted he purposefully downplayed the risk of coronavirus. We know why, its because he didnt want to spook his precious stock market. Whoa, whoa, easy, girl. Easy, gil. Its okay, nasdaq, everythings fine. You just keep going out, girl. Now when normal people get caught on tape admitting they lied to an entire country, they usually apologize, but donald trump didnt become president by being normal, so yesterday he doubled down. Did you mislead the public by saying that you downplayed the coronavirus and that you repeatedly did that in order to reduce panic . Did you mislead the public . Well, i think if you said in order to reduce panic, perhaps thats. So the fact is im a cheerleader for this country, i love our country and