Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

My special election fallout shelter which is stocked with everything i need. Ive got a bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean my hands and another bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean the other bottle of Hand Sanitizer. If the power goes down, i have board games, i have a boom box over there and something close to a playstation. Most importantly, ive got this place locked down tight. This election fallout shelter is grade 5 military bunker level which means its impenetrable to nuclear weapons, Chemical Attacks and even the most roy wood, jr. Hey, whats up . Trevor how did you get into my election fallout shelter. Im doing the show live. This is top security, what are you doing . I got your password, wakanda 123. Trevor dont say it out loud. You want me to leave . Trevor no, youre in the bubble. Did you get tested . No, aint got no 5g in my neighborhood. Im good. Trevor you should still get tested. Its a joke, calm down, affect. Trevor i cant calm down on a night like tonight. Ready for Election Results . Yeah, man. Im a little nervous. But they aint gonna get me like they got me in 2016. I got some staff to keep me calm, the pink stuff and some liquor. I got a little tequila. I aint getting up off the couch because this one is for my urine. You know, so i got one for you know. All right, this is the tequila. Thats my bad. Im going to put a p on this one for please drink this one. Trevor i dont think your system is going to work, roy. But you might need that booze because i dont know if you have been seeing the results from tonight but trump has started out strong because hes looking good in North Carolina and hes probably going to win florida. And i dont know, roy, i was actually hoping that maybe florida would surprise us like they did with obama but i des they really like trump. I dont know why youre so surprised about florida. First of all, i went to college in florida. I can tell you about florida. Aint but two good things in florida, south beach and disney world. The rest is strange people in pickup trucks trying to sell you baby alligators. Trevor it makes sense. Trump is the ultimate florida mascot hes got the tan, all his friends are in jail, somehow he has money, and he has a much younger wife who was dressed up really nicely to cast her vote. As we mentioned, we saw First Lady Melania Trump at the polling site in west palm beach, florida. You can see her on the left side of the screen. She just finished casting her ballot one she would assume for her husband in one to have the three usually battleground states we are watching very closely. Im pretty certain melania is the only first lady who people can only assume she voted for her husband. She could have voted early but she waited for election day, like, im an undecided voter as trump what about the things i did for you . He gave her corona. Dont spread rumors. Youre right. I think melania voted for trump because if he wins, melanias married to the president of the United States. If he loses, shes just married to donald trump. That sucks. You know what, though . I dont even think thats really about donald trump. I dont think anybody really want to vote for him. My girl put the knives in the dishwasher blade up, i couldnt trust her with the nuclear code. Trevor hes win ago lot more votes from hispanic and black people than in 2016. I dont know if this has anything to do with it but hes had a lot of rappers come out to support. At a rally in florida President Trump introduced hispanic rapper lil pump though he incorrectly referred to him as lil pimp. Trevor speaking of music, one of the big superstars of the world, little pimp. There he is. Hows it going . You want to come up and Say Something in. Trevor okay, a pump and a pimp are very different things. If your basement is flooded and a pimp shows up, thats not going to end well. We need a hose. Well, i brought you some hose. Cinnamon, grab a bucket, bitch. Whats crazy is eminem came out and endorsed joe biden. Thats the world we live in. Who would have thought the white rappers would be with biden and the black people would have been trump. The first time black people appropriated something from white people. Trevor we might as well go to one of the Trump Campaign Campaign Headquarters to catch up with desi lydic. Any news to report . Thanks, trevor. I am here at the Trump Victory party. Right now, theres no news to report. But if a winner is declared, the reporter on camera gets to announce it. So im just going to keep on talking talking, talking, talking any minute we could learn who the winner is and i could be the one saying who the next president is on tv making history. But you know, its not about me. Its really about the american voters. Take them away. We know what voters look like. Tonight is about democracy, trevor, democracy. Lets think about that word for a minute while we wait with me on camera. Websters dictionary defines democracy as a system of government by the whole population. Its a noun of greek or origin. I believe its based on the greek democris, a creek dragon who lived in ancient athens and would pick a president. Hold on. Theyre making an announcement. Could this be it . Desis one shining shift no, just a waiter announcing crab cakes. Something else, Something Else oh, you know, trevor, sometimes it can be hard to put nights like these in context and as so often is the case we turn to the words of poets, and i think my feelings now can be expressed by al pacinos four and a half minute locker room speech on any given sunday which i watched in my hotel room on tnt. On this team we fight for that inch on this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We crawl with our fingernails for that inch hooah hold on, trevor, theyre making an announcement. Could this be it . cheering yes crab cakes are back. Do not go to trevor, you stay on me. Ill be right back. You stay on me trevor no, thats enough. Im not waiting around to see desi get crab cakes. Well take a quick break, come back with more Election Results and check in with our correspondents around the country. Don cheadle and dr. Tressie mcmillan cottom will stop by later to give us they are perspectives on everything thats going down so far, howdy folks Colonel Sanders here to make dinner time a little easier. Mealtimes can be overwhelming. Especially when youre trying to work, parent, and help with the schooling all at once. So let us help with kfcs 20 fill ups. Its like a homecooked meal you dont have to cook. Drivethrus open. Or get contactless delivery. Into it. In the senate, Democrat John hickenlooper has beaten republican incumbents cory gardner. But in alabama republican challenger Tommy Tuberville has defeated democrat incumbent doug jones. And in kentucky Mitch Mcconnell has defeated democrat amy mcgrath. So it appears, unlike his hands, Mitch Mcconnells seat will not be turning blue. If theres one thing we cannot deny about 2020 is that it has sucked balls. Also coronavirus has made everything weird. Youve got a face mask drawer next to your underwear drawer. Your delivery guy throws food at you like a broke ass quarterback and even your creepy aunt doesnt kiss you on the mouth anymore. With the coronavirus pandemic making social distancing a must sporting venues have been transformed into polling locations across the country from the k. F. C. Center in louisville to phillys union stadium. Arenas and stadiums uparent the only places repurposed. You can cast ballots at the citys tar pits, this texas location allows people to vote without ever leaving their car. In San Francisco the neptune society, home to 8500 cremated remains, is now a polling site. Trevor people are even voting in crematoriums . Probably smells better than a middle school gym, but, man i think its more strange to vote at a sports arena. A sports arena is where you go to argue with people because they dont support the same team you support. You fight with people because theyre on a Different Team youre right. Its probably a good place to vote. Trevor you know what, dude, no matter how weird the place was, people have turned out to vote in record numbers this year, so we actually sent Jordan Klepper to speak with the voters in a special election day addition of finger the pulse. Its election day im here in brooklyn where the lines are around two, three people. Im guessing its because people already made a plan and voted early, either that or our democracy is crumbling. I prefer the first one. Whoa, yay, voting day i assume you voted for hometown boy donald trump. Hell, no, if his balls were cut off today, i would be happy. The reason im not so fond of this administration is because i believe in a true system of governance based on honest and fairness. Then youve had a pretty shitty four years. Yeah. Why did you vote today . I hate donald trump and want him to get out of office. No, why tid you vote today and not six days ago when all the cool kids were voting. Because the lines were long. You might not get paul rudd voting today, you might get spiderman. I like spiderman. Some people waited till election day to cast their vote and some people waited until election day to think about the election. Im undecided. Youre an undecided voters . I didnt know they existed in the wild. Why were you undecided up to this point . Nobody is toward my interest. Have you officially made a decision in your head . When i get off the train in the bronx. Trevor what do you expect to happen on the train to help you make up your mind . Because my experience on the subway, im not usually thinking. Ill flip a quarter. Heads trump loses, tails biden wins. How do you figure that . Im kind of smart for this. Heads trump, biden tails. Biden wins. 400 years of campaigning and its a coin flip. Were folks prepared to avoid the heart weak of 2016 . How are you keeping expectations in check on a day like today. I am not. Im fully should into hope. Trevor thats not 2008. Did you have a voting strategy not to jinx it. No, to get through the night tonight which is basically to drink. Youre taking my strategy. Its election day, you have to take an i vote. One, two, three, thank you very much. Delete that shit right away because you dont want to drink anything. Okay. This could stretch into long days or weeks. Are these people patient enough . Of course, over lounge howevt takes, it takes and if these mother bleep do not count every absentee vote, every vote needs to be counted. You need to let democracy play out. Were satisfied to counted county them all. Trump wants the Election Results to come right now and he rolls over and the rest of us are not even starred. Donald trump wants to start tonight. I know. Were satisfied if we count all the votes. Absolutely. Explore the entire electoral map. Democrats need to experience democracy. Thats right. And after a stressful election we all know its important to decompress. Im going to take a a mindfulness walk because this is so stressful. Tell us about it. We do breathing techniques and walk around and think about, like, the present moment and try to stay in that present moment. Im closing my eyes. I need the calm. Breathe in. Breathe in with the country is in bad shape now, breathe out that our country will be in better shape. Im breathing out the last four years with the idea that people will probably start campaigning for the next president ial season in about a month and a half. Exactly. Deep breaths, america, you can do this. Trevor thank you so much Jordan Klepper. Were going to take a short break. When we come back, ill be talking to the man when you switch to xfinity mobile, youre choosing to get connected to the most Reliable Network nationwide, now with 5g included. Discover how to save up to 400 a year with shared data starting at 15 a month, or get the lowest price for one line of unlimited. Come into your local xfinity store to make the most of your mobile experience. You can shop the latest phones, bring your own device, or trade in for extra savings. Thats simple, easy, awesome. Visit your local xfinity store today to ask, shop, discover the latest on xfinity mobile. Welcome back to a live Election Night episode of the daily show. Im still here with my good friend roy wood, jr. Roy, you doing good . This is how im doing. Okay. Its stressful. This is how im doing. Trevor i dont understand. Roy, if one of those bottles is urine and one is tequila, how come theyve both gone down. I lost my taste since a couple of days ago so ive just been hitting both of them. I cant really smell it either . Im beginning to think this is a terrible idea. Here are more results coming in. Here are more interesting issues on the ballot. Florida passed a 15 minimum wage. Congratulations on that. New jersey has legalized marijuana, and d. C. Has decriminalized mushrooms. All right, please trust me, d. C. , tonight is not the night to try shrooms for the first time. If trump wins again, all drugs should be legalized. We cant go through the next four years sober. I need heroin gummies at least. Lets catch up with dulce sloan who voted earlier today, to get her analysis. Dulce, whats going on . Hi, trevor, just waiting to vote. I have been standing in this line forever and thats how you know im voting in a black district because the state only gave us one voting booth. Mmhmm. This is worse than the time i was waiting for my trash man to pick me you have after my hair was done. How are you going to pick me up late when the only reason youre driving around town is you borrowed my car keys . We can even turn Voter Suppression into a matter. You want to check out my c. D. Player . I already told you no. No one has a c. D. Player anymore anyway. Craziest thing, im not voting in the 2020 election. Im still trying to vote for hillary. ringing ive got to go. I know you didnt hit another mailbox. We really need those today. Trevor wow, dulce, sorry you had such a stressful day. Good luck with the hilary vote. Doesnt end well. My first guest is an Award Winning actor, activist who you know from black monday and the avengers, joins me to talk about selfproclaimed role as a dem voter in 2020, please welcome don cheadle. Are you finished telling about the Election Results . Trevor io trevor you don want any spoilers . Yeah, no spoilers. It will be hell or heaven when i find out. Trevor okay, so whats the plan for you . Are you not going to hear any results till its all done or do you want to just wake up what if this goes for, like, two weeks . Its probably going to go for, like, two weeks. I dont want to listen tonight. Its just not worth it. laughter trevor youre currently on set. Youre doing a new stephen sotoburg movie. Your showtime series is coming up on monday. Did you vote early . What was your voting strategy . Actually, my wife came out, visited, brought my ballot, took it back to california, put it in a mailbox a real one, got the results back and yeah, im good. Im in. Trevor i loved how you described yourself as a single issue dem voter which is an interesting one for 2020. What is that single issue for don cheadle . Whoever can beat him. Early in the primaries i didnt want to back anybody because i was trying to figure out who would boat him. Because anyone on that stage tonight is better than who we have now. So i was just really hoping who would beat trump and put my Energy Behind them. Trevor you have been vocal from the beginning. I know you were a big Bernie Sanders supporter. When joe biden won the nomination, you helped out with Campaign Events from joe biden. Some people criticized you, like Bernie Sanders said theres a bigger issue on the ballots here and we have to come together. I know some people talk to you. Do you think you manage to convince some people about the greater good . I hope so, right. I mean, were going to see what the result of that is pretty soon, and i would never, you know, try to say it was a result of me personally moving someone in one direction or the other. I just want to talk about what i believe is important. I wish we could have made a big conglomerate of all the candidates. I think, clearly, the things that separated those candidates, all of those candidates, warren, bernie, joe biden, exactly exace degrees they were separated were small compared to what we were dealing with on the other side. Again, i wanted to throw my Energy Behind whoever was coming out on top and help them get to the finish line. Trevor one to have big issues you have been passionate about is Voter Suppression. Youve teamed up with events or organizations fighting Voter Suppression, you have been outspoken, been moving the needle in a direction where more people get to cast the ballot where they should because its their right. Have you seen any signs of progress or is there any optimism that has come from the work you have been part of over the last few years . Well, i think its always a situation where its going to be a continuing fight, right. People are always going to try to gain the system game the system to try to make it work out for their benefit. Its always two steps forward, one step back. If we prevail and we have a biden harris presidency, i think then another form of work will begin, another level of work has to we all have to pick up that ball and continue to push for things that we want and continue to be progressive. So i think the voter turnout this year, you know, before today has been i dont know, tripled or unbelievable. So clearly people are inspired and theyre, you know, energized, and that energy is going to have to keep going. Its not over, no matter what happens. Kind of like the fight starts, another fight starts. Trevor its a fight that feels like it continues from generation to generation, and i know that youve got two daughters in their 20s who seem as passionate as you are about the world that they live in whether it comes to Climate Change or whether it comes to whos running the world. What do you wish for them and what do you talk about to them about maybe not politics but what the politics of the world should be . Like, what do do you hope that y will do that maybe your generation hasnt . Well, i think, unfortunately, it becomes incumbent upon them to take on a lot of responsibility and what our generation has ended, unfortunately, you know, they have to deal with the fallout from Climate Change in a way they havent and how that exacerbated and how snangsly weve had to deal with the haves and the have nots getting larger and larger. We speak about policy issues, and its a continuing conversation, you know, its not like we come to a solution. Its like they understand that they are committed, like you said, for a longterm commitment into a longterm fight and my god daughter, all of us, you know, youre always talking about these issue, and this year was obviously a huge issue. Its not a huge issue but a huge event that happened one after another, a dom no effect. You were always checking in. Im glad they understand some of them are willing to throw in. Trevor well, hopefully, there will be no spoilers, only pleasant surprises when the results come in. Good luck. Never compliment a black mans hair. Trevor thats a great hat you have on there, roy. Thats a dope hat. Maybe well continue that offline. Trevor congratulations on mack blon day, don cheadle. I appreciate you. Thank you, man. Trevor when we come back, more Election Results and we check in on elections that are not in america. Yeah, they have those. Well be right back. If you vape nicotine, you could be inhaling toxic metals like nickel, chromium, and lead that can damage your lungs. Keep your social reccircle small. You of course, as the original light beer, weve always recommended that. Its miller time. To Severe Plaque Psoriasis uncover clearer skin that can last. In fact, tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. Tremfya®. Uncover clearer skin that can last. Janssen can help you explore cost support options. Trevor welcome back to a special live election edition of the daily show. Weve got a few more results coming in and here they are. In the president ial race, joe biden has won the state of vermont. The safety state of of georgia l too close to call but trump has nabbed alabama. You have to see that coming. Alabama loves football which is trumps exact body shape. That isnt really a surprise. Dont you think, roy . All right, anyway now despite this being one of the highest turnouts in american history, voting has gone surprisingly smoothly. But a few voting places had a few hiccups. The risk of getting your vote ruined from too much Hand Sanitizer is rule. In california, New Hampshire and virginia, the Hand Sanitizer has been smearing the, inc. , making the ballots unreadable and causing soggy ballots to shred and clog electronic machines. From georgia apparently at the state farm arena they were delayed four hours because of a water pipe burst. One location at an Elementary School was to stay open till 7 30 p. M. After a poll manager overslept this morning. Trevor really . How is the poll manager going to oversleep . You had one job thats like bumping into the easter bunny at a bar on Easter Sunday and he said, oar, shit, is that today . All they have to do is cook poll workers a rack of ribs on election eve. Overslept . Every election they pull a new rabbitt out of their head a pipe burst im sick of this Voter Suppression. Trevor its just a burst water pipe. And who doesnt like to get their hair wet . Black women trevor i need to have whatever youre drinking. Lets catch up with jaboukie youngwhite reporting live from trump tower in man manhattan. Whats going on, jaboukie . I was going to report from trump headquarters and i thought what if i put myself into a coma until this is all over . I decided to do that because theres no good option here, trevor. Either trump wins or its too close to be decided or biden wins and trump refuses to leave the white house and is the first whiteout squatter and boards up the windows of the white house. I think hes going to get bill bart ton do it. I dont think hell do it himself. Im just going to sleep through this shit. I dont have enough money for a private island, so ill get a private island in my mind. I was going to go the traditional way and get edibles all social distancing and being responsible. Im just going to say it, drug dealers, you guys are cowards. I say that with no fear of repercussions. I was going to go to my pediatrician. I go to dr. Garcia. He tells me he doesnt induce elective comas. Can you believe that . Im literally his oldest patient. I said forget dr. Garcia. Im just going to the hospital. I go to the hospital. Trevor, did you know our insurance policy does not cover elective comas . Sick. Thats why he need medicare for all because just because you get cancer or you want an elective coma or you get a little lip filler while youre there, you dont need it but just a little something, doesnt mean you should go bankrupt. Its ridiculous. Anyway, im fine. Dont worry about me, trevor. I locked the door, made sure no one was around. Im going to induce this bad boy myself. Coma button has got to be on here somewhere. Oh, there it is. And lift off. laughter all right, trevor, ill see you in february. Mmm snoringbrook trevor i should probably tell jaboukie i couldnt afford to get him real medicine and thats just saline. I dont know let the boy sleep. Trevor i guess let the boy sleep. Be careful jaboukie. You will be really hydrated in the morning. Hopefully Michael Kosta hasnt checked out of the election on Election Night because hes supposed to be at biden Campaign Headquarters right now. Kosta, whats the mood over there now . Its hard to say, trevor. Everyones in waiting mode. A few minutes ago biden came out to address the crowd. He seemed positive, confident, firm. His eyes scanned the crowd till they rested on his wife jill, her trim body glistening with the sweat of anticipation. He true her close, probing her mouth with his tongue. He didnt care how many people were watching, he needed her right then and there trevor whoa, whoa, whoa, kosta, dude, what are you talking about . Theres no way that actually happened. Of course it didnt happen, trevor. Nothings happening were signature here waiting for the votes to be counted. I have nothing to report so i thought i would write erotic election fan fiction. Trevor no one wants to hear erotic fan fiction on Election Night. If no news out of biden headquarters find other news to report like, i dont know, whats the news at trumps headquarters without fan same, trump is waiting for results like the rest of us. Hes tense, nervous, pent up. All he can think about are those swollen ballot boxes aching to be emptied and then his eyes rested upon ivanka. He didnt care how many people were watching, he needed her right then trevor whoa, whoa, whoa, kosta, this is gross. Its bad writing. The met forest are so obvious. You could work on being a little bit more original, you know. Wow, you you really let me have it, didnt you, trevor . Now im embarrassed and humiliated. Like i have been a real bad boy, huh, trevor . A bad boy who needs to be punished, and michael knew that trevor noah was just the man punish him and trevor all right, you know, thats enough. Just leave. Ill email you the rest. Trevor i dont want it, send it to my gmail. When we come back, ill talk to dr. Tressie mcmillan cottom about how the results are shaking out so far. Were the croods. We are the bettermans. Welcome to a better way to live. Welcome to my house dun, dun ,dun. This place is changing everyone. Give this place a chance. Go i have to like him . Grug. Gruggers. Grug. [ screaming ] grug. You have to be nice. I dont know if cave people belong in a modern world. Were evolved people. [ grunting ] maybe we should take it down a notch. Bah, bah, bah. Bah, bah, bah. Wow. Youre choosing whento get connected to xfinity mobile, to the most Reliable Network nationwide, now with 5g included. Discover how to save up to 400 a year with shared data starting at 15 a month, or get the lowest price for one line of unlimited. Come into your local xfinity store to make the most of your mobile experience. You can shop the latest phones, bring your own device, or trade in for extra savings. Thats simple, easy, awesome. Visit your local xfinity store today to ask, shop, discover the latest on xfinity mobile. I love bedtime. The thin, sweet bite to end the night. Oreo thins. Trevor welcome back to a special live Election Night edition of the daily show. Im still trevor noah. Hes still roy wood, jr. No, youre roy wood, jr. Trevor anyway, the votes are still being counted and here are some of the latest results that have just come in. Trump has officially won the state of kansas. Meanwhile, joe biden has won the state of New Hampshire. And in south carolina, republican Lindsey Graham has defeated democratic challenger jamie harrison. Not really a big surprise. The south has continued to keep a confederate monument. Makes sense. Before we wait for more numbers to come in, lets go to awe word winning author, professor, sociologist and 2020 recipient of the mcarthur genius grant, dr. Tressie mcmillan cottom. Hi, trevor, how are you this evening . Trevor how are you . I feel that should be title from now on, dr. Genius. Forget my name, im interest genius and thats all you shall refer to me as. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Its been a wild ride, hasnt it. Trevor it has been a crazy, crazy, crazy ride. What do you make of everything weve seen so far . Obviously results are still coming in buttist been an interesting year where trump is winning more black men than republicans before him and the vote seems to be swinging in a strange direction, hispanic voters going for trump. What do you make of everything were seeing . Well, you know, so far dont its going mighty whitely and i think thats how many of us expected its it to go. For all of the impressive get out and vote that happened on the democratic side, which i do think we will continue to see the fruits of over the next couple of days, the fact remains we are not going to see a clear repudiation of donald trump by the Republican Party and that means something. That means that no matter who wins, today, tomorrow, next week, whenever this thing finally ends, we are still living in the United States of america where 40 to 45 of the population thinks donald trump has been doing a reel good job. And thats going to be really difficult to govern no matter who is elected. In many ways, donald trump has made a mess that only donald trump can clean up and thats kind of eterrifying. Trevor it really is change because on my side i sometimes believe that i think america is like all hope is lost for america. But then there are times when i think if you only have a twoparty system doesnt it mean inevitably youre going to have people voting for one of two parties because some of their issues will be on one side and some on the other. Do you think there ever will be a time when america isnt split down the middle . No, the only thing were not actually split down the middle when you look at the popular vote. Actually people in this country despite what shows up in the polls agree more on some to have the big things than they disagree. What happens is the way the Electoral College appropriates votes makes it look like were split half and half. Its really just a very vocal not quite small minority. Its a sizable minority, but there is a significant part of the population that just has an outside influence on who is elected relative to the actual size. And then theres this really complicit sort of mushy middle that just country see a significant difference between either party or either candidate and because they dont see a significant difference, they tend to go along with the flow. Right now thats the most vocal, virulent part of the voting population, and thats the republicans for whom being a republican has become their identity. So what the Electoral College allows to happen is that there are voters who vote democratic or republican, you know, they become a democrat or republican for six months every couple of years, but then there are people who similarly identify with their party and, on the right, that is a much stronger impulse than it is on the left, and those are the people who end up driving this and make this seem its inevitable that there will always be this sort of evenly divided conflict about all the things that matter and its not exactly true. Its allowed to be true because of how we elect people in the country. Trevor right. It feels like a lot of the information is skewed but sometimes it feels like that has a selffulfilling prophecy effect to it, you know. Yep. Trevor one of those things has been black men voting in larger numbers for donald trump. Black women staying consistent. As a sociologist, do you have any idea of why this is . Like, what could it possibly be about Donald Trumpt that more black men than usual goics yeah, im going with him. Man, cocaine is a hell of a drug. laughter i think there is for all that we talk about race in this country, and it is significant and it matters, and for all that we talk about class, it is significant and it matters, what we have learned is that gender also matters, and there has always been a conservative streak or impulse in africanamerican communities. It gets drowned out by our oppression compierd to white people. But its frankly patriarchal impulses. There has been enough time thats passed between the Civil Rights Movement and todays young or young middle aged africanamerican male voters that they think they can actually vote their class interests separate from their race interests, when really what theyre doing is voting their gender interests. They are attracted to the same thing that a lot of cubanamerican voters are in florida, that white rule voters are attracted to in idaho, they are attracted to the presentation of masculine strength in donald trump, despite what the rest of us may think donald trump looks like, his bluster looks like strength and masculine at this to a lot of people, and i think there are a significant number of black male voters right now who feel like that strength is an indicator of what might be possible for them under President Trump and our historical memory is so short they dont realize thats not right. Trevor i will talk to you again after this election is fully done. I hope we get to sit together in person when the pandemic is over and you can help me make sense of the craziness happening in the United States. Thanks for joining us. Always a pleasure, trevor, thank you. Trevor thank you so much, tressie. When we come back more Election Results on live Election Night. 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[ screaming ] im just a girl its me, its millie. Yeah. Yeah. Blissfield high. Feel our glory and our might. [ screaming ] im just a girl everybody is freaking out. Im just a girl guess im some kinda freak are you serious . Oh my god its a slaughterhouse. Freaky, right . Trevor welcome back to the daily shows live Election Night coverage. Weve got a few more results that are rolling in right now and here they are. Donald trump has won the state of north dakota. Joe biden has won the state of oregon. And biden has also won california wow despite donald trump picking up that lastbeen endorsement from the wildfires. Unbelievable. But lets move on, we have been hearing all year now about how difficult it is for Many Americans to vote so its not surprising that the United States has one of the lowest voter turnout rates among democracies in the world. But ronny chieng has a report on one drastic solution that could fix this problem, if americans would ever accept it. In the last president ial election 44 of americans did not vote. That put you in 26th position among developed countries. Thats pa they can. You should be ashamed of yourself. Thats garbage. Its go garbage that in 2016 trump got elected with only a quarter of eligible voters supporting him. Thats a broken system. Taxes are mandatory so why not voting . But america is the land of the free where the whole point is to do anything you want, even dress up as fat iron man in times square on a tuesday afternoon. So can you really force americans to vote. Do you think in america voting should be compulsive. I think it should but its not going to happen because people wont even wear masks. We were told to do something, exactly, bleep , we wont o it. Would america accept mandatory voting. Definitely not. Why not . Americans are lazy in general. America is the land of the free. People come here because its a free place. That includes the freedom to not yeah, pretty much. Do you think mandatory voting could happen in america . No, i do not. I think that American Values are like a toxic version of what freedom is. Isnt that what makes America Great . Its not so great at the moment. Maybe americans think its impossible but mandatory voting does exist in 22 countries including one thats drunker, crazier and whiter than the u. S. Im talking about australia where theyve had it since 1922. It was quite a small fit for australians to think, well, we want the majority of people to be selecting our government, and that is legitimacy. Basically in vailia you force people to exercise their democratic rights . Thats right. In australia, people think its not such a big deal to show up. It might take you ten, 15 minutes. Teachers and parents associations are there selling sausages. Thats where we get the term democracy. Democracy has had a bad taste since the Clint Clinton administration. Australians have had a voting since the 40s. What kind of punishment do you have mike it so over 90 of the people vote. Jail time . Public spanking, wear a i didnt vote sticker. Its a 20 fine. Thats it . Thats a bargain. I think. There are big advantages. The vote has to get the vote out by the political party. So they dont have to appeal to the base. You dont get the extreme ideological appeal and so it makes our democracy i think more moderate. Doesnt that make your election process very boring. It doesnt make it boring. What democracy means to me is the majority of people participate. I find Voter Suppression in the United States shocking. I dont know how americans can call themselves a democracy at all. Damn Political Science will love this. How do everyday australians see this . I took a 25 hour flight and spent two weeks in quarantine so i could talk to them myself in sunny brisbane, australia. What do you feel about the fact voting is compulsory in australia . I feel very proud it is. For people who dont want to vote they should go somewhere else. Everybody has to decide. Its mandatory result. If the result doesnt go your way, you cant complain. If we lose, at least we say we had a chance to vote. It takes five minutes. You go in there and vote and get out. No time, no worry, just shut the bleep up and vote. What do you think about mandatory voting in australia. It sucks. We just go in and hit a few boxes. Are you drunk now . Yeah, had a few shots. What do you think voting isnt mandatory in america. It has a purpose for it. Feel like im a witness to cave men discovering fire right now. Yeah. Even drunk australian bros can see the benefits of mandatory voting. For america, the good news is voter turnout in 2020 is on track to hit record levels. All we needed to get people to vote was to lect donald trump, and then guess what . People turn up. We dont need to force people to vote. Thats a big price to pay. I would rather have to pay 20 fine than have to put up with President Trump for four years. Toto. Uchee. Trevor we have to take a short break. Short break. But final thoughts when we co we love our new home. Theres so much space. We have a guestroom now. But, we have aunts. Youre slouching again, ted. Expired, expired. Expired. Thanks, aunt bonnie. Its a lot of house. I hope you can keep it clean. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. Which helps us save a lot of money oh, teddy. Did you get my friend request . Uh, ill have to check. doorbell ringing aunt jonis here for bundling made easy, go to geico. Com. Hello . For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com. Metro has the best deal in wireless. So whatever your goal, however you hustle, metro has you covered, so you can rule your day. Get unlimited data with 5g access included for just 35 a line. All on americas largest 5g network at no extra charge. And right now, get the latest 5g phones for less than 100 bucks when you switch. Thats the best deal in wireless. Metro. Empowering you to rule your day. Trevor welcome back to a live Election Night edition of the daily show. Roy, you want to hear more results . No. Trevor all right, well im going to give you some more results. Joe biden has won the state of illinois. Donald trump has won the state of utah. And this is big news fox news has called arizona for joe biden oh trevor for joe biden youre crazy trevor for joe biden. Oh, baby we stole one from em it dont matter, man. Trevor this is crazy oh, man, all right, before we go, lets check in one last time with ronny chieng at a live polling location in brooklyn. Whats the latest, my dude . Actually, trevor, im here at kings county jail. Did you know you have to be an american citizen to vote in america . Because no one told me that. All i have been hearing is celebrities telling me i have to vote. Jennifer aniston yelled at me. Chris rock sexted eme and they all said vote. An officer said you dont live in this precinct. I said the hulk told me to be here. Take it up with him. Next thing i know, im in jail. Maybe recycling is bad, maybe bullying is good. Should i actually be doing drugs more than i already do . I dont know anymore. Anyway, lesson learned, dont show up on election day if youre not a citizen. Hopefully all the absentee ballots mailed in still count. Back to you, trevor. Trevor thank you so much, ronny. So sorry about that. Well be sending someone to bail you out in a few days. Thats our show for tonight. Thank you so much for tuning in on night one of our sevenweek election day coverage because this shit is going to go for a while, people. Brace yourselves. A bunch of states havent come in. Every day well count the votes, then follow the lawsuits. Get rest, sober up and catch you again tomorrow. Now, here it is. Your moment of zen. What talking at the same ti does anyone know how the Electoral College even works . What the bleep with the Electoral College. Wont look at me. I was against that bleep . Thats a James Madison thing. Thats a James Madison thing. Also, you cant look at [opera music] okay, that was a tough question. So raise your hand if you know the answer. Photosynthesis. [whispering] photosynthesis. Photosynthesis. Yes, annabelle . Antarctica thats right, annabelle the answer is antarctica. Well, when i was in school, it was photosynthesis. Now, what is the pythagorean theorem . Can anyone else answer besides annabelle . [phone blips] are any of you even doing the assignments im giving . [suspenseful music] no no wait. [dramatic music] maybe it was a mistake. Cnn just posted it by accident. Everythings fine, it was chris cuomo and his fat fingers, thats all. Everythings good. Everythings fine. Were good everythings good [breathing loudly] wait. Maybe this is a dream and im still naked. Oh, god roe v. Wade ugh. Everythings fine, everythings good. Gotta stay hydrated when everythings normal. [phone notifications dinging] [whimpers] [breathing loudly] [bleep] [bleep] [rock music] sorry, miss brittany. Rbg. [phone notification dings] [bleep] [applause] have you thought, how many women is enough . Nine. Oh. [laughter and applause] oh. [cheers and applause] were not there yet. [laughs] well, there have been nine men there for a long, long time, right . So why not nine women . Woo yeah. [sighs] its been 41 days since Justice Ginsburg died. And in that time, amy coney barrett