[ cheers and applause and now, here he is, seth meyers [ cheers and applause seth good evening, everybody im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everyone doing tonight . [ cheers and applause seth quick welcome to our guest announcer for the evening, my brother, josh meyers, is with us for the night [ cheers and applause very good job on your first time announcing thank you i watch the show seth that helps. That helps lets get started, i like this, i was happy to see this. Nascar released a Statement Today calling for the removal of South Carolina capitol released a statement, nascar released a statement, they should have sent a pit crew. That thing would have been down in like nine seconds [ laughter ] [ whirring noise ] thats the noise it makes, right . Yeah. [ whirring noise ] seth according to a new poll, 65 of americans do not consider donald trump to be a serious president ial candidate [ laughter ] 65 . Thats nearly 2 out of his 3 wives, to give you a sense of that number. [
He cant be here, hes on fox news. President trump this morning attempted to solidify republican support in the face of impeachment proceedings, tweeting, quote, stick together play their game and fight hard, republicans. Our country is at stake. When he goes all caps, its got to be something serious like the future of the country or, you know, a meal [ laughter ] according to cnn, people close to President Trump believe hes in denial about the gravity of impeachment, and also just regular gravity. [ laughter ] is it me or do you guys feel the earths pull . [ applause ] today was lumberjack day in that case, ill grab my axe, said douchebags. [ laughter and applause its not all politics. We have fun. [ laughter ] a delivery van in pennsylvania overturned on tuesday and spilled over 130,000 eggs on a highway. And in a bad sign for the climate, they were done in 30 seconds [ laughter ] today was National Pancake day first reported by a desperate fox news [ laughter ] oh, yeah, no, id love
Inaugural committee. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, half the country now believes President Trump should be impeached and removed from office unfortunately, the other half believes that Hillary Clinton should [ laughter ] according to sources, President Trump has put his soninlaw, jared kushner, in charge of overseeing border wall construction and thats smart, because if he cant squeeze between those bars, nobody can [ laughter ] First Lady Melania Trump spoke to a group of students today in baltimore about the dangers of drugs. Lets just say, they either hate her or love drugs. [ booing ] [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] if she asks, thats just how americans say we love you. [ laughter ] according to reports, billionaire president ial hopeful Mike Bloomberg has already spent 37 million on television ads. Of course, if tv ads were all you needed, this would be our president. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to reports, raccoonrelated delays on new york subways doubled t
You drank a bottle of wine, smoked pot with your cousins, and youre still [ laughter ] youre still awake [ laughter ] man, whatever your grandpa said about trump must have really freaked you out. [ laughter ] according to polls, 63 of americans plan to drink on thanksgiving, just as soon as the adults turn their backs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause president yeah [ cheers and applause President Trump issued a thanksgiving proclamation yesterday, and called for the country to rise above divisiveness and celebrate united together as one people. Added trump, even the democrats, nevertrumpers, deepstaters, nfl players, fake news media, women, latinos, muslims, late night hosts and eric [ cheers and applause all of us celebrating as one family the wife of childrens tv icon mr. Rogers revealed in a new interview that he would regularly fart in front of her to make her laugh. [ laughter ] and she would laugh to make him stop [ laughter ] and finally, the New York Post has published a lis
Donated 1 million to trumps inaugural committee. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, half the country now believes President Trump should be impeached and removed from office unfortunately, the other half believes that Hillary Clinton should [ laughter ] according to sources, President Trump has put his soninlaw, jared kushner, in charge of overseeing border wall construction and thats smart, because if he cant squeeze between those bars, nobody can [ laughter ] First Lady Melania Trump spoke to a group of students today in baltimore about the dangers of drugs. Lets just say, they either hate her or love drugs. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] if she asks, thats just how americans say we love you. [ laughter ] according to reports, billionaire president ial hopeful Mike Bloomberg has already spent 37 million on television ads. Of course, if tv ads were all you needed, this would be our president. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to reports, raccoonrelated delays on new york