President trump, today, instructed the state department to develop a plan to relocate the us embassy from tel aviv to jerusalem. And melania has developed a plan to relocate herself from d. C. Back to new york. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] towards the end of the speech on israel today, President Trump began to slur his words leading some to speculate that he make have been wearing dentures. But the white house insists that its nothing unusual and that most of his words are slurs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] here, take a look. I asked the leaders of the region, political and religious. Israeli and palestinian. Jewish and christian and muslim to join us in the nobel quest for lasting peace. Thank you. God bless you. God bless israel. God bless the palestinians and god bless the united states. Thank you very much. [ laughter and applause ] seth i cant believe both our first and our last president had fake teeth. [ laughter ] or as trump calls dentures, fake chews. [ laugh
[ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to andrew garfield, rachel brosnahan. [ cheers and applause ] bonnie mcfarlane, once again. [ cheers and applause ] thank you jimmy and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight holly hunter, from the detour, actor and comedian jason jones, a performance from the broadway hit once on this island, featuring the 8g band with alan cage. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlem, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] in that case, lets get to the news. President trump spoke at the National Prayer breakfast in washington this morning. Well, in between the lightning
I go to her, hey, do you want a doughnut . She goes, oh, im not really hungry right now. I was like, thats not how doughnuts work. [ laughter ] what, are you going to wait until your stomach growls . Nobody does that. This is america. You eat until your heart gives out. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i punished my daughter a few weeks ago. I took her phone away for three days because she was being mean to siri. [ laughter ] and the transformation in her was unbelievable. Like, yes, the first day she just laid on the floor crying, but once she got over the shakes, she [ laughter ] she got up, she looked around, she started liking things in real life. She doubletapped the dog. [ laughter ] she was like, mom, lets go to the park. Mom, lets go to the library. Mom, lets play in the creek, but i just gave her her phone back. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so, im married, and this is the sadder part of the show. [ laughter ] i wish somebody had told me before i got married how much yelling i
According to a reports, President Trump will release his 1. 5 trillion infrastructure plan on monday. Apparently, he wants to take the weekend to practice saying infrastructure. [ light laughter ] infinpuncture [ light laughter ] instadenture ill get it, ill have it. Ill have it by monday. President trump said yesterday it was treasonous that democrats didnt clap during his recent state of the union address. I dont think it was that bad, said melania. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth white house chief of staff john kelley said today that some undocumented immigrants who are eligible for the Daca Immigration Program were quote too lazy to get off their asses and sign up. You tell them john, said his boss between cheeseburger naps. [ light laughter ] the Dow Jones Industrial average dropped over 1100 points yesterday. Sell, sell, sell said trump, when asked where hed be in a year. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] after the Dow Jones Industrial average suffered its
[ light laughter ] according to a reports, President Trump will release his 1. 5 trillion infrastructure plan on monday. Apparently, he wants to take the weekend to practice saying infrastructure. [ light laughter ] infinpuncture [ light laughter ] instadenture ill get it, ill have it. Ill have it by monday. President trump said yesterday it was treasonous that democrats didnt clap during his recent state of the union address. I dont think it was that bad, said melania. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth white house chief of staff john kelley said today that some undocumented immigrants who are eligible for the Daca Immigration Program were quote too lazy to get off their asses and sign up. You tell them john, said his boss between cheeseburger naps. [ light laughter ] the Dow Jones Industrial average dropped over 1100 points yesterday. Sell, sell, sell said trump, when asked where hed be in a year. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] after the Dow Jones Industrial av