Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Its the late show live with Stephen Colbert tonight, des moines kids. Plus stephen welcomes, live, mayor Michael Bloomberg, featuring, live, jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen come on its live, baby cheers and applause hey how are you come on happy live happy tuesday happy live beautiful hello, my friends whats up there . Jon very nice. Brocade. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you very much. Hey, everybody, look at that, live hi, chris. Hey, everybody, please please, have a seat. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. And as you can see, as you can see right there, we are live. Tonight was the last last debate before democratic voting starts in february. So, after two years of campaigning, seven debates, 28 Democratic Candidates, and one truly exhausted husk of a late night host, we have made it to almost starting the election. Remind me to pick up some boniva. Thank you. Now, with the caucuses right around the corner, tonights debate took place in des moines, iowa. And you know what they say about des moines please, Say Something about des moines. laughter its really lovely. Its a really lovely place. Really lovely. There was controversy, because tonight was the first time in this election cycle that the democrats had an allwhite debate stage. Once again, jlo was robbed. laughter joe biden has been under attack lately for his 2002 vote to authorize the iraq war. So tonight, he came out and admitted he was wrong. I said 13 years ago it was a mistake to give the president the authority to go to war. Stephen okay, youve got to give him credit. He took responsibility for his actions and didnt hide behind Barack Barack obama, picked me to be his vice president. Stephen and three minutes and 19 seconds not bad. Then mayor pete weighed in on the iraq war. There are enlisted people that i served with, barely old enough to remember those votes on the authorization after 9 11, on the war in iraq. And there are people now old enough to enlist who were not alive for some of those debates. Stephen as pete and there are people on this stage old enough to take me to an rrated movie. Come on, i wanna see uncut gems i hear sandler kills it cheers and applause Amy Klobuchars first question was about her previous attacks on mayor petes lack of experience ive been very clear that i respect the mayors experience very much in the military. I just have different experience. Stephen as klobuchar specifically, i have the experience of losing to the mayor of south bend, indiana. Hell never know that kind of humiliation. As the war debate went on, bernie provided some historical context. The two great Foreign Policy disasters of our lifetimes the war in vietnam and the war in iraq. Both of those wars were based on lies. Stephen as bernie we need to stop heading into wars we cannot win in the middle east. Its what i told congress in 2002. Its what i told my friend richard the lionheart in 1191. laughter applause we need to negotiate with saladin over the partition of the holy land. Then, senator klobuchar spoke of visiting a worker at a dying factory. I went to this plant and there was one worker left in that plant. That worker brought out a coat rack of uniforms, and he said these are my friends. Stephen as klobuchar and i made that man a promise that i would give him anything he wanted if he just let me out of the room. laughter and his friends his friends can come with me. Do your do your friends have names . Klobuchar also brought out a local example of women succeeding in politics. Kansas has a woman governor right now, and she beat kris kobach. And her name, um, is im very proud to know her and her name is governor kelly. Thank you. laughter stephen as klobuchar i am i am so proud to call her a friend, and i know her, and shes known to me, and her name, which i am coming i am coming to. Shall i say the name . You want me to say it. Here i go. Its. Kelly one of her names is kelly its either her first name, last name, or her favorite color. Thank you. Kelly. applause the big story heading into the debate tonight was the falling out between Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren. Last night, news leaked that Bernie Sanders evidently told Elizabeth Warren in a private 2018 meeting that a woman cant win the presidecy. Now, bernies denied it, but warren said that among the topics that came up was what would happen if democrats nominated a female candidate. I thought a woman could win; he disagreed. Well, thats a real he said, she said he said what he just said he didnt say. laughter so it came as no surprise when bernie was asked about it. Senator sanders, cnn reported yesterday, and senator sanders senator warren confirmed in a statement that in 2018, you told her that you did not believe that a woman could win the election. Why did you say that . Well, as a matter of fact, i didnt say it. And i dont want to waste a whole lot of time on this. Anybody knows me knows that its incomprehensible that i would think that a woman cannot be president of the United States. Go to youtube today. Stephen yes, if you want to see bernie say nice things about female president ial candidates, go to youtube. If you want to see his supporters saying terrible things about them, go to the comments section. laughter applause so thats it. Thats it. There it is. Bernie categorically denied the charge. And then it was time for warren to get a question. Senator sanders, i do want to be clear here, youre saying that you never told senator warren that a woman could not win the election . That is correct. Senator warren, what did you think when senator sanders told you a woman could not win the election . laughter stephen who wrote these questions, andy cohen . Senator warren, i will give you an opportunity now to throw wine in bernies face and snatch this bitchs wig off, okay . laughter do you want to do you want to well be right back. piano riff then senator warren brought down the hammer. Look at the men on this stage. Collectively, they have lost ten elections. The only people on this stage who have won every single election that theyve been in are the women. Stephen wow cheers and applause pssst not only have they lost 10 elections. Now theyve lost their balls to Elizabeth Warren. Unbelievable, just put them in a zip pouch. Warren specifically said she was the only one on stage to beat a republican incumbent in the last 30 years. Thats when grammy and grandpa really started to mix it up. Just to set the record straight, i defeated an incumbent republican running for congress. When . 1990. Thats how i won. Beat a republican congressman. Number two 30 years ago stephen fight, fight, fight do the math math fight show your work do math pencils down why isnt yang here . Thats what he does. Now, joe biden talked about his power to bring the biggest coalitions together. The real issue is who can bring the Party Together and represents all elements of the party africanamericans, brown, black, women, men. Gay, straight. Stephen as biden women, men, gay, straight, tops, bottoms, pitchers, catchers all in a giant sweaty coalition of freedom. laughter at one point at one point, bernie listed all the benefits of medicare for all. Let us be clear what medicare for all does. It ends all premiums. It ends all copayments. It ends the absurdity of deductibles. It ends outofpocket expenses. It takes on the pharmaceutical industry. Stephen as bernie what can take the sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two . My medicare plan. My medicare plan because i wrote the damn bill now, joe biden you remember joe biden, our friend joe. He also talked up his healthcare bona fides. I would argue that the biggest breakthrough in recent time was us being able to do in our administration what five democratic president s couldnt get done. And that is pass obamacare. Stephen hes right. Shame on president truman for never once mentioning obamacare. laughter come on harry then mayor pete moved it on to climate cange. Climate change has come to america from coast to coast. Stephen coast to coast. Or as it will be called in 20 years, cincinnati to denver. laughter now, also, buttigieg, late in the night, late in the debate, buttigieg faced a tough question mayor buttigieg, you say youve had trouble earning the support of black voters because youre unknown. But youve been campaigning for a year now. Is it possible that black voters have gotten to know you and have simply decided to choose another candidate . Stephen as phillips follow up question are you going to cry . Go ahead, squirt him, if youre going to cry. Turn on the no . Okay. Up until tonight, cnn has been heavily promoting this debate as the last time to hear from the Democratic Candidates before the iowa caucus. But those six candidates on stage arent the only democrats still in the race. And cnn had plenty of coverage for the other candidates too. Just check out their promo tuesday night, biden, sanders, warren, buttigieg, klobuchar, steyer, all on stage in des moines, iowa, for the cnn democratic president ial debate. But thats not all cnn has exclusive coverage of every candidate, even the ones that didnt qualify, like john delaney, outside the auditorium staring longingly through the window. Andrew yang,ne arm wrestling a manufacturing robot for 1,000. Michael bennet and Deval Patrick sharing a trench coat gaard,tanding alone in a rn field, ominouslwa whats going on . Why is she in there . Not the field, i mean the race. Like, what is going on with that . And Michael Bloomberg, in the the late show green room filling his pockets with free sandwiches. Youre a billionaire, sir. Control yourself. Only cnn. cheers and applause stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Mayor bloomberg is here. But when we return, i will be right here for more monologue about tonights trump rally and his impeachment stick around. Its so much show band playing everything your trip needs for everyone you love. Expedia. For everyone you love. We only come out at night we only come out at night i walk alone ill pretend to know the way we only come out at night we only come out at night try to win by attacking, now, we know the trump strategy distorting, dividing. Mr. President it. Wont. Work. Newspapers report bloomberg is the democrat trump fears most. As president , universal healthcare that lets people keep their coverage if they like it. A record on job creation. A doable plan to combat Climate Change. I led a complex, diverse city through 911 and i have common sense plans to move america away from chaos to progress im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. The frthe quarter pounder . Ingredient of well, that depends on who you ask. The hottest, juiciest quarter pounder yet, made with 100 fresh beef. Its perfect, made perfecter. Ba da ba ba ba ition and we broke through. Olays retinol24 complex hydrates better than the 1 retinol. Visibly smoother brighter skin in just 24 hours. New olay retinol24. I thougin that moment. Illiant we have not said one word tonight about race. Not one word. Are you kidding me . The heart and soul of this party is diversity. When a kid succeeds in columbia, South Carolina in las vegas, nevada that is a triumph for every american. People dont know tom steyer. Ive known tom steyer for fifteen years. His commitment on Racial Justice and social justice is rock solid. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. ba cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody give it up for the band, jon batiste and stay human right there. Come on give it up for the band cheers and applause stephen boom boom jon, its an exciting night. Right here. There is nothing like a live crowd. Jon oh, yeah. Stephen nothing like a live crowd. Im excited to have experience this amazing crowd here tonight is mayor Michael Bloomberg, who will be out here just a moment, running for president , wasnt at the debate. And tomorrow night, weve got is there any yang gang here tonight. Andrew yang will be here tomorrow night. I will have him weigh on the controversy how many years it is between 1990 and now. Jon i remember that. Stephen nobody knows. Science isnt in on how long it is between 1990 and now. Were going to find out. Were going to fire up the super computer. While the democrats debated in America Great rally up in milwaukee. Trump kicked things off with a move from speechwriting 101. And your great Green Bay Packers are playing San Francisco this weekend. cheers and applause good luck. So, do we have any green bay packer fans here tonight . Stephen you cant ask a crowd in milwaukee if they are green bay packer fans. That is the cheapest ploy for applause. I know for a fact, my audience would never fall for it, because theyre the smartest, most Beautiful People in the world, am i right . oh, yeah cheers and applause trump bragged about killing soleimani, and had high, if strange, praise for our military. These guys were better than tom cruise at his best. Stephen as trump better at flying jets than tom cruise in top gun. better at making cocktails than to cruise in cocktail. better better at raining men than tom cruise in rain man. better at interviewing vampires than. Then trump dug into specifics like when is now . And is there ever, ever a better place to be than a trump rally on some night during some week . laughter stephen he he really has no idea what day it is. laughter as trump ill never forget the wonderful night and or day were having here in unnamed screaming place, u. S. A. Go, unnamed team then, the president rambled on about stuff he liked. You know, i like golf, and i love my grandchildren. I dont think i could talk to somebody about them for 45 minutes that i dont even know. I have a beautiful grandchild, he is really beautiful, he is so great. Okay, what else am i going to say . Right . Stephen as trump i love my grandchildren, who definitely have names, which i know, and who were born on some night during some week, some place. cheers and applause jon overtherainbow. Stephen trump speculated on how the world would be different if a democrat had been elected in 2016. You wouldnt have bought all those brandnew keep America Great hats. Stephen hes right. No, no, that checks out. Yes, we have paid a price americas loss of standing in the world, the destruction of our constitutional norms, massive and flagrant corruption, but. Hats. laughter then trump launched into his favorite Topic Household appliances. I brought back the old light bulb stephen nothing nothing makes you sound like an old man than screaming i brought back the old light bulb it was in the garage. It was in the garage by the thing with the box with the pine cones and last years tinsel hey, close that door im not paying to air condition the neighborhood around here trump wasnt afraid to talk about the hotbutton issues like dishwasher efficiency. Im also approving new dishwashers that give you more water so you can actually wash and rinse your dishes without having to do it ten times. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 stephen first of all, we cannot let this guy become president. Second laughter thapplause jon no not at all stephen just cant. Second, nobody does that. Now this is its all made up. And, third, im going to say, we should not take dishwasher advice from a man who eats a majority of his meals out of a cardboard bucket. In the end applause in the end cardboard bucket in the end, trump got really upset with the media for. Reporting things. Anything i say thats even slightly false, its headlines. Trump said this these people, he said this. Stephen as trump every time i lie, the medias like thats a lie and im like, no lie. why cant you lie about my lies . These people, with the ears and the fingers. laughter the debate and trumps speech werent the only news today. Because were also at the brink of the president s impeachment trial in the senate. Ill tell you all about it in tonights edition of don and the giant impeach. Tell me what i did, please cheers and applause stephen when last we met, there was a standoff pitting House Speaker nancy pelosi against Senate Majority leader and googley eyes glued on an uncooked chicken thigh, Mitch Mcconnell. Mcconnell opposes having witnesses in Trumps Senate impeachment trial, and in response, pelosi refused to send over the articles of impeachment. But now shes ready to move ahead, after pointing out one inescapable truth this president is impeached for life, regardless of any gamesmanship on the part of Mitch Mcconnell. There is nothing the senate can do that can ever erase that. Stephen as trump they cant erase it, but if i use my magic marker i can change it to the farticles of impoopment. laughter legacy secure, nance. laughter highbrow jokes applause i love it. Come on oh, mark your calendars, because today Mitch Mcconnell announced the impeachment trial will start next tuesday. To which the president responded as trump im sorry, mitch, that doesnt work for me. I have something on tuesday, it says here taco. Well be right back with mayor Michael Bloomberg. Hes running for president of the United States. cheers and applause its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. Like leather, skin is stronger when 9 out of 10 men dont get the hydration their skin needs. Thats why dove men care body wash has a unique hydrating formula. To keep mens skin healthier and stronger. Fishrisotto. Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings gelato. Cheesecake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. Brussels sprout. Sauerkraut. Freshcaught trout. Alfalfa sprout. Curry. Fried turkey. Mcflurry. mcdonalds cacciatori. Chimichurri. Adlib inhale spiral ham. Blackberry jam. Rack of lamb. Candied yams. Pokes. Smokeys. Gnocchis. And them banging raviolis. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. You try to stay ahead of the mess. 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As president , universal healthcare that lets people keep their coverage if they like it. A record on job creation. A doable plan to combat Climate Change. Sey through and iave america away from chaos to progress im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause stephen all right, lets do it. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the late show. Once again, we are live tonight following the democratic debate from iowa. My first guest is a billionaire media mogul who served three terms as mayor of new york city and is now running to become the democratic nominee for president. Please welcome mayor Michael Bloomberg cheers and applause there you go thank you, thank you. cheers and applause they your friends . Thank you. Stephen please, have a seat. Thank you. Stephen welcome to the show. Thank you. Its my second time. Stephen i know. Nice to see you again. Nice to see you again. Well, i didnt do that bad a job the first time because did you invite me back. Stephen well, right. Youre a hot item tonight because all the other candidates are in iowa right now and you decided not one of the other candidates is in wisconsin. Stephen thats trump, trump in wisconsin, yeah, yeah. Yeah. laughter i didnt send him there. Stephen no, i know. Congratulations, youre fifth nationally in the latest polls. So it is possible applause only number one actually gets the nomination, but its possible youre youve got a shot at this. Theres some time. Stephen should we worry that we might lose our big gulps if you become president of the United States . No, but can i have this one . Stephen sure, sure. cheers and applause oooh so refreshing. I like it. Stephen well, now, youre not in iowa. Youre not campaigning in iowa or New Hampshire or South Carolina or nevada, which are the first contests. No, but i have been in 20 states and 40 cities in the last month. Stephen well i grant you that. Im not trying to take away anything youre doing. Why this unconventional approach . Well, i started late. It was too late to get into the first four, and i wasnt invited into debates because i dont take any money from anybody. Stephen oh, okay. Thats one of the criteria you have to poll at a certain level and you have to have 225,000 donors. And i have only one. Me. Stephen yes. And hes quite passionate. Quite passionate. applause look, im spending my money to get rid of donald trump. Somebody complained, and i said, do you want me to spend more or less . And they said, spend more. Of course it was my money they were spending. Stephen youre not there on the debate stage, but you are here on our stage, and Everybody Knows the road to the white house goes past this desk and so i had the choice of spending the night with you or with wolf blitzer. Stephen good choice. Thank you. laughter stephen so i think of the campaign as Something Like a job interview, so lets get straight to it. How did you hear about the opening . laughter what opening . Stephen for president of the United States. Theres an opening coming up. I thought i checked my calendar and it said, donald trump is there, and you dont want him to stay there. And his term ends at this date. So i said, okay, lets go after him. Stephen and you had the next four years free . I had the next four years free. I actually have the next eight years free. applause stephen i want to make sure the job matches with your expectation. What was your previous salary . 1. 1 a year, and i have all 12 checks framed. Stephen oh, wow. Because i didnt want to cash them. But ill go back later on when i need the money. laughter stephen can you drive stick . Uh, first car i ever had was a stick, yes. Stephen okay. But it was a long time ago. Stephen sure. Not doing a lot of driving these days. Not a lot of driving but stephen you fly a helicopter, right . I do. Stephen why do you fly a helicopter . Because its fun and because i want to get from here to there. Stephen do you really just go around the traffic in a helicopter . I dont fly over traffic. I sort of go out over the water. You know. And some other places. Stephen im not saying youre buzzing i95 in a sikorsky. But you get to work in a helicopter. No. Stephen you dont . You really should. The traffic is terrible. I took the subway. Stephen oh really . Do you still take the subway . I still do when i go downtown, sure. Stephen what do you think of the subway these days under the mayor who followed you . I made a commitment i would not talk about my predecessor or my successor. And, actually, the subway isnt run by the mayor. Its really run by some commission, and the governor probably has more say. It needs a lot of work is a nice way to phrase it. In other words, it stinks. applause stephen thats nice. So you missed out on a chance in answering some of the Big Questions tonight, such as the first one and this is an important one, why are you best prepared to be commander in chief . Because i have experience in running the largest city in america, which is very international, has an enormous police department, equivalent to a small army. And nobody goes into the office with experience of running four million employees, which is what the president has. But its not a job for its not an entrylevel job and its not a job if you need training wheels and i dont need the training wheel. Stephen what is applause there was a lot of discussion tonight about americas war in iraq that started in 2003, and the recent military exchange with iran. What is the what is the bar for military intervention, military action for a president bloomberg . Well, the first thing is it has to really threaten america. And, number two, if the rest of the world is being threatened, we have an obligation to go and help. We are the superpower of the world, and with superpower status comes a responsibility. And i think you saw that in world war i and world war ii. The wars were elsewheres exept in the pacific when we did get attacked but we went to defend the free world, and thats something that the superpower has to do. Because in the end it will come back to us, too. So this is not just being altruistic. Stephen you have been a democrat and a republican. Im an expert on partisan politics. Ive been everything. laughter stephen okay. A lot of my moderate republican friends say youre the democrat they could vote for. Is that because youre part republican . Um, i did run as a republican because i couldnt get on the ballot as a democrat. But i think, all kidding aside, what people want to know is that theyre going to get good government. And when i was mayor, i raised taxes on the wealthy, but we spent the money wisely and the crime went down and deaths went down and streets were cleaner. And people dont mind paying taxes if they see they get something for it. Stephen how do you feel about Elizabeth Warrens wealth tax . applause because you you have a little bit of cash in the bank. I have a little bit of cash. Stephen i assume you would be hit pretty hard by her billionaire tax, you being a billionaire. laughter ill have to go and check my account and see if its still there. All kidding aside. The wealth tax just doesnt work. Its been tried elsewheres. We have to raise taxes on the wealthy. Thats the way you fix income inequality and thats how we get money to do the things that we need to do to keep the country safe and keep the economy going. But you dont just go and do it for the heck of it because you want to be mean. You do it because you need the money and you can tell and youre going to spend it wisely. Stephen you put your money where your mouth is for some very highprofile and important issues. One is gun control. Yup. Stephen and Climate Change. Why did you why did you choose these two . We want to have background checks so the wrong people dont get guns. You dont want to sell guns to minors applause cheers we we have the second amendment. Were not going to change the constitution. You have a right to bear arms. But the courts let you say no guns to minors, no guns to people with psychiatric problems, and no guns to people with criminal records. Stephen and what have you what have you done in terms of fghting Climate Change . I know thats been an important issue for you. Climate change, well, the first thing weve done is we closed 302 out of the 530 coal fired power plants in the country, and that reduces the Greenhouse Gases dramatically. Stephen and is that something you have been behind encouraging people to close these plants . The sierra club does a lot of work but my foundation basically funded it, yes. Stephen how much money have you spent so far running for president . We have to report in a while, but it will be a couple hundred million dollars. Stephen a couple of hundred million dollars. Thats my investment in trying to get rid of donald trump and get us a decent president. Stephen regardless of whether youre the next guy. applause i couldnt hear you. Stephen i said, regardless of whether youre the next president , you are committed to helping whoever is nominated . Normally, they ask, will you, if youre not the candidate, agree to support whoever does get the nomination . And in this case, thats a very easy thing to do because every Single Person on the stage today is better than donald trump. cheers and applause stephen well, we have to take a little bit of a break. I hope you can stay because its a live show. Well be right back with more mayor Michael Bloomberg, everybody. Stick around. 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Brzezinsktom steyer. K at this. Berman tom steyer. Odonnell surging in nevada. Scarborough this is working for tom steyer. Odonnell surging in South Carolina. Smerconish i dont think its just resources. Mitchell surging in two new polls out of nevada and South Carolina. Wallace polling at double digits. King up eleven points from october. That is dramatic. Steyer im saying we have a broken government. Thats whats going on in washington, dc. Its been bought by corporations, and my question to the American People is who do you think is going to change that . Im tom steyer and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Were here talking with mayor Michael Bloomberg who is running for the democratic nomination to be the president of the United States. Okay mr. Mayor, one week before you announced your candidacy, you gave a speech where you apologized for stop and frisk. Yup. Stephen what motivated you in that moment other than the fact you were about to try to appeal to a broader Democratic Coalition . Look, i started out with 650 murders a year in the city, mostly young minority males. Had to do something about it. Your responsibility is to stop the carnage. Did the best i could. Near the end, i realized we were getting out of control and doing it too much. Actually talked to the woman whos my assistant who sits next to me, has a young son, and we talked about what would happen if her son was getting stopped. And i took a look and said lets try something stop doing the stop and frisk and see what happens. We thought murders would go up, and it didnt. So i said lets phase it out. And before i left office, we cut 95 of them out. Then i somebody said, what did you do . I said, i made a mistake. And if you cant apologize, i dont know how you live with yourself. Sometimes you just not everything goes right not everything goes the right way. Sometimes you do something wrong. Apologize and get on with it. Stephen well, while you were mayor there was a lot of criticism of it as well. It went from 95,000 stop and frisks when you started to over 600,000 at its peak. And there was a lot of criticism. Why not assess it while its going on . As a leader, we want to know that while youre in power you change your mind, not after it doesnt matter. No, we did. But the murder rate went from 650 down to 300. We reduced dramatically. And stephen but youre saying it wasnt because of stop and frisk because when you stopped it, it didnt change anything. Well, we did the best thing we could. I think it had something to do with it. At some point in time, you do too much of one thing then you should stop doing it. We reduced the incarceration rate. We reduced the recidivism rate. We started a whole bunch of programs for young kids, one of which president obama copied for the nation. You have to do all the Different Things and try and see what happens. Stephen when you were mayor of new york, did you ever have to deal with donald trump who is, you know, by his own description a prominent new yorker, certainly a famous guy, a builder as he says, in new york . He was reasonably well known. He was a real estate promoter. Stephen not developer. You call him a promoter. I would think more so. Because a lot of buildings he didnt build. He just put his name on it. Stephen okay. Did you guys hang out . Did you guys do anything together . Well, we cut some ribbons together. He bought the rights to build a clubhouse at one of the city golf courses. Stephen you trusted him with a sharp object. I stood far away. I actually played golf with him once at a charity tournament. Stephen did he cheat . Did he cheat . No, because we had five balls in the air anyways. But he has a reputation of, shall we say, not being scrupulous in how he counts strokes. applause stephen yes. Or wives we took the subway to applause he did however, the one time i talked to him after he was elected but before he took office, he gave me his personal cell phone number. Stephen please tell me you still have it. I didnt bother to write it down. Stephen damn it we can call him right now. Whats it like out on the road . Where have you been so far . If youre not campaigning heavily in the first four states, where is your focus right now . Weve been to 20 states and 40 cities. I start going out to the west coast on thursday morning. Stephen california being super tuesday this time. California, and then through utah actually, im going to washington, d. C. First, and then out there, go through idaho, go through utah, and then back. But it will be six days on the road. And then ill be back for a couple days, and you do it again. Ive got a great staff. They do all the things back here, and my job is to get out and let people see who i am, and hopefully theyll like me, and if they dont, nothing else i can do, just be myself. Stephen well, you have a 10 million ad buy in the super bowl. Yes. Stephen you can tell us anything about the ad . Yes, but im not going to tell you. laughter no, the only thing ill say is its a serious subject. Im a believer that i should be spending my money to do what i think is right and give people options. And it doesnt quite fit in with popcorn and beer. But its a chance to reach an awful lot of people. And it talks about something that i care very much about, and i think is important to the country. Stephen well, mr. Mayor, thank you for being here. Good luck. If were going to have a billionaire president you seem like a much nicer one. And all the luck in the world. Thank you. Stephen mayor Michael Bloomberg, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause ill be waiting here waiting just for you welcome to my world my skin gets so tired. This new olay serum feels so dewy, and hydrated. Gives my skin an extra boost of life. Its full of energy. It finally matches me. Im denise bidot, and my skin is powerful. And i can face anything with my olay. Mis the nations oldest blackowned design and construction firm. Before mike, we were desperate. There were not a lot of opportunities for blackowned businesses to compete. Mike saw that and he leveled the Playing Field for blackowned businesses. Over the years, we have heard a lot of talk. But mike came in, and he actually did something about it. And thats how mike will get it done as president. Im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. applause [wood rolling] alexios, add toilet paper to the shopping list. [chiseling on stone] oh, and camel milk. And a chicken. And moisturizer. Alexa thanks, guys. Ill take it from here. Ahahahahaha. Hahaha. Discover the rainbow taste the rainbow howling wind howling wind land youll see its actuallyn made of countless imperfections. Those randomly and impulsively placed sesame seeds. That one slice of melty cheese at the bottom and another draped haphazardly over the 100 fresh beef patty cooked right when you order. True, the hottest, juiciest quarter pounder yet is not perfect. But when you put it all together, ha ha its perfect made perfecter. Ba da ba ba ba like leather, skin is stronger when 9 out of 10 men dont get the hydration their skin needs. Thats why dove men care body wash has a unique hydrating formula. To keep mens skin healthier and stronger. Charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is softer than ever, so its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird enjoy the go with charmin. Tomtrump on the economy. Ald his people over profits plan makes a living wage a right. Creates thousands of good paying green jobs in california. And provides a 10 tax cut for everyone making under 250,000. Toms plan also makes health care a right, by adding a public option to obamacare. Protects union negotiated plans. And ensures californians can make their own health care choices. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Did you know this is where you can harness your inner jedi . And tear around radiator springs . Or get your flex on with the incredibles. Kids enjoy the magic for just 67 per child per day, with a 3day 1park per day ticket. band playing stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Folks, what you at home may not know but these people do is that every night before the taping i come out here and answer audience questions. Its a great way for us to get to know each other before we jump in the comedy sack and get to funny bonin. Sometimes we film it and sometimes we show that to you. Tonight is that sometime applause stephen are there any questions i can answer before we get going here . Yes, sir, right there. Stephen, could you tell us stephen what did i do this weekend . Bought a used car for my son. It was fun. I hadnt done that in a long time. It was really i said to my son, watch the master negotiate. laughter because i said im not spending a dime more than this, and id looked at the wrong sticker, and the sticker for the actual car was lower than i said what i would pay. laughter i suck at negotiating. Yes, maam, right there. My school has, like, a new comedy writing major, and i want to switch into it, but i dont know how to tell my parents. Do you have any suggestions . Stephen do you have a cellphone with you . Yes, i do. Stephen why dont you dial your parents right now. laughter applause come up here, please. Come up here, please. laughter applause tell me your name. Shelby. Stephen shelby. Hey, mom, are you there . Of course im here. Stephen hi, your daughter, shelby, is here, and she wants to be a comedian. I really think she has a great sense of humor. Stephen okay, but she wants to change her major at college and study comedy writing. How would you react to that . Well, unless she has a full time job with you. laughter applause stephen i get it. I see. Oh, i see whats happening. This whole thing is a long con. Ive been had. Yes, sir, in the back. Who are you voting for . Stephen ya mutha. laughter secret ballot, sorry about that. Oh, is she right with you . laughter applause stand up. laughter laughter well, thats a first. Well be right back. Wherever we want to go, we just have to start. Autosave your way there with chase. Chase. Make more of whats yours. Tomtrump on the economy. Ald his people over profits plan makes a living wage a right. Creates thousands of good paying green jobs in california. And provides a 10 tax cut for everyone making under 250,000. Toms plan also makes health care a right, by adding a public option to obamacare. Protects union negotiated plans. And ensures californians can make their own health care choices. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Leadership that makes a difference. Vo a great president and an effective mayor. Obama hes been a leader throughout the country for the past twelve years, mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Vo together they worked to combat gun violence, and again to improve education for every child. Obama i want to thank the mayor of this great city, mayor bloomberg, for his extraordinary leadership. I share your determination to bring this country together to finally make progress for the American People. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg, and i approve this message. Stephen good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonightt yoy where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from the mut