Everybody welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 17th of september, and heres your quarantine tip of the day if youre planning on finally seeing your older relatives for the first time in months, remember not to eat any of the hard candies they give you. And this is not a covid thing, those things are just gross. Anyway, on tonights show, donald trump divorces half the country. Bill barr says slavery is back, and the coronavirus is getting its own award show. So lets do this, people. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off in barbados, the place with a rich beautiful history you probably wont see because its outside the sandals resort. Although the caribbean island obtained about in 1956, the queen of england is still officially head of state but thats abto change. Queen elizabe
Whispering in joe bidens ear and donald trump might be racist . So lets do this, people, welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Now that weve all had a full day to absorb the first president ial debate, lets really sit down and talk about what we learned. You know, take some time to analyze the policy disagreement. Think through the important issues. Past the parse the newances. The red kal left. Would you shut u man. He graduated either the lowest or almost the lowest in your class. That is so. Hunter got thrown out of the military. He was thrown out, dishonorably discharged. Thats not true. He wasnt does honorably. For cocaine use. You get the final word. It is hard to get any word in with this clown, excuse me with this person. Nothing sported about you joe, 47 years you have never done anything. Are you the worst president america has ever had,
Trevor lets kick things off on the west coast. You know, the part of america that keeps nevada from getting wet. Extreme wildfires have been devastating the region for over a week now, and as if the Natural Disaster isnt bad enough, its being made worse by some serious human stupidity. Raging wildfires in california, oregon and Washington State are burning out of control at this hour. At least 35 people have died. Officials describe conditions as apocalyptic. As if the fatal massive wildfires werent enough to contend with, now officials in oregon are having to plead with residents to ignore a q anon Conspiracy Theory that is quickly spreading online. The false claim says antifa is to lame blame for starting the fires. A county sheriffs deputy placed on leave after a video of him went viral saying fascists started fires in oregon. Antifa ~bleep are out causing hell and theres a lot of lives at stake and there are a lot of peoples property at stake because these guys got some vendetta. T
So go ahead, america. Whenever you pass by harley riders like us, roll down your window and yell, faggots all you kids out there, when you see us, walk up to us and say, hello, fags no, really. We want you to. At least were cool enough to embrace who we are. Right, guys . Thats right yeah, yeah you got it, yeah come on, fags, lets roll out [imitating motorcycles] and that, mr. Editor, is why they are the true definition of fags. Let there be no perplexity, those individuals are the legitimate faggots the definition shall be replaced [cheers and applause] we did it yeah, we did it, you guys oh, its over its finally over today weve made history. Whats going on, everybody . Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is monday, the 14th of september, which means we are now just 50 days away from election day, which means youve got just enough time to build your bunker for when the postelection civil war begins. Yay make sure to include toilet paper. Someone bought a
California and how putin and trump are in a race to release the least trustworthy vaccine. Lets do this. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets kick things off in california. The only state where botox is considered an essential service. This years wildfire season has been one of the worst in history with dozens of fires burning a record 2 million acres. And now were finding out that one of this weekends biggest blazes started in one of the dumbest ways possible. Crews continue battling dozens of raging wildfires in california. Officials say one of the fires, the el dorado in San Bernardino county started after pyrotechnics were used in a gender reveal party. Scorched thousands of acres. Only 7 contained as of late last night. No word of any charges related to the fire. Trevor ive said it before and ill say it again, these gender reveals