Dont know about you, but this election is starting to feel like that friend who you let crash on your couch for a weekend but then you quickly realize that youve officially got a new roommate. Lets see whats happening with our situationship in our ongoing segment votegasm 2020. Lets get to the big news first president donald just a minute trump is in more trouble than the guy who kidnapped liam neesons daughter because all day joe biden has slowly been chipping away at trumps lead in georgia while cleaning up as mailin ballots are counted in pennsylvania. Basically by the time youre watching this, it could all be over, so by tonight youre popping champagne or your stress pimples. Even though things look bad, donald trump is not a quitter, if you dont count his casinos and marriages, and he still has several strategies to win. Lets so through the strategies today. Strategy number one is trumps First Response to anything whether its trying to get out of paying a bill or silence ago porn
If youre watching this, consider yourself served what a difference between 2016 and 2020. When hillary lost, she disappeared into the woods. But trump starts losing, hes dragging voters one by one on to the witness stand, though hes probably just hustling for a big settlement. Im suing because i should be president , thats why im here. But for 500grand we can forget this whole thing ever happened. 300,000. 250 my final offer. 50,000. Ill pay you, but only 20, art of the deal. But what case exactly are they bringing to the courts . Well, Rudy Giuliani, the president s lawyer and man who drank from the wrong holy jail explained his objects tan outing the vote. Not a single republican has been able to look at any one of these mailin ballots. They could be from mars as far as were concerned or from the Democratic National committee. Joe biden would have voted 50 times or 5,000 times. You have a reputation for dead people voting and well look at how many dead people voted here. Do you think
Trevor lets kick things off on the west coast. You know, the part of america that keeps nevada from getting wet. Extreme wildfires have been devastating the region for over a week now, and as if the Natural Disaster isnt bad enough, its being made worse by some serious human stupidity. Raging wildfires in california, oregon and Washington State are burning out of control at this hour. At least 35 people have died. Officials describe conditions as apocalyptic. As if the fatal massive wildfires werent enough to contend with, now officials in oregon are having to plead with residents to ignore a q anon Conspiracy Theory that is quickly spreading online. The false claim says antifa is to lame blame for starting the fires. A county sheriffs deputy placed on leave after a video of him went viral saying fascists started fires in oregon. Antifa ~bleep are out causing hell and theres a lot of lives at stake and there are a lot of peoples property at stake because these guys got some vendetta. T
So go ahead, america. Whenever you pass by harley riders like us, roll down your window and yell, faggots all you kids out there, when you see us, walk up to us and say, hello, fags no, really. We want you to. At least were cool enough to embrace who we are. Right, guys . Thats right yeah, yeah you got it, yeah come on, fags, lets roll out [imitating motorcycles] and that, mr. Editor, is why they are the true definition of fags. Let there be no perplexity, those individuals are the legitimate faggots the definition shall be replaced [cheers and applause] we did it yeah, we did it, you guys oh, its over its finally over today weve made history. Whats going on, everybody . Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is monday, the 14th of september, which means we are now just 50 days away from election day, which means youve got just enough time to build your bunker for when the postelection civil war begins. Yay make sure to include toilet paper. Someone bought a
State announces which candidate will be receiving their delegates, its just a bunch of people shouting in an arena while wearing the worlds dumbest hats, but this year they mixed things up and did roll call from a picturesque or meaningful location in each state. And ive got to say, i thought this was a much more interesting way to do it. I mean, you got to see people in front of cows or on the beach or locked outside their house. And while many of the people in the videos were party activists, some recognizable faces popped up, too, like amy klobuchar, representing minnesota from the banks of the mississippi river; or mayor pete buttigieg, beaming in live from the men in black headquarters. And my favorite by far was watching everyone hype up their state. Ohio casts 20 votes for Bernie Sanders and 120 vote for the next president , joe biden. Tennessee became the 36th and deciding state to ratify the 19th amendment, granting women the right to vote. Tennessee casts 23 votes for Bernie