Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Ewan Mcgregor, willie and Bobbie Nelson, a special performance from kesha, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy hello everyone, thank you so much for tuning in to the tonight show. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well guys, earlier today, President Trump called in to fox and friends and announced that hes going to start coming on the show once a week. Tch this i think were going to do look forward to it like the old days. I havent heard that. Jimmy yeah, trump announced that hell be joining fox and friends once a week so at least hes cutting back a bit. [ laughter ] thats right, itll only be one call a week and 168 hours per call [ laughter ] wow, its monday again. I got to go. Im not surprised fox had to schedule a weekly calls with trump. Hes like your relative who always calls at the worst time oh,
Everybody welcome to the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 17th of september, and heres your quarantine tip of the day if youre planning on finally seeing your older relatives for the first time in months, remember not to eat any of the hard candies they give you. And this is not a covid thing, those things are just gross. Anyway, on tonights show, donald trump divorces half the country. Bill barr says slavery is back, and the coronavirus is getting its own award show. So lets do this, people. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off in barbados, the place with a rich beautiful history you probably wont see because its outside the sandals resort. Although the caribbean island obtained about in 1956, the queen of england is still officially head of state but thats abto change. Queen elizabe
Last straw . I thought she looked fly. You know who i feel really bad for . Prince charles. Think about it, when he was born, he was set to inherit a massive global empire. By the time he finally takes over, though, hell basically just be ruling seattle but with a fancier accent. At this rate the only caribbean island british royals will be welcome at is jeffrey epsteins. Barbados basically ghosted the queen hello . Hello, barbados, hello . Shhh dont answer the phone, rihanna is our queen now. To another country where people are desperate to rid themselves of a despotic monarch, the United States. One of the big clashes between protestors and police is on junr gas, spray and batons to clear the white house so President Trump could hold a bible in front of a church. I want to show my people it doesnt burn my hand like in the movies, we can hold it. But as overheated as that response was, we are finding out ut it could have been hotter. The military whistle blowers said federal officials
Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests jude law maya erskine and anna konkle musical guest, summer walker and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ applause ] jimmy nice very nice. Thank you very much. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well guys, election day is now less than 50 days away yep. The only thing coming sooner than november 3rd is a covid test for anyone who went to the president s indoor rally last night. Overnight at a packed indoor rally, President Trump breaking nevadas covid restrictions to court voters in the key battleground state speaking to a throng of mostly maskless supporters, his first indoor rally in nearly three months jimmy yeah, last night trump held a packed indoor rally in nevada, so it looks like the next longterm residency in las vegas will be the coronavirus. What is trump doing
[ laughter ] President Trump delivered the state of the Union Address last night and claimed that he has led a, quote, Great American comeback. Please everyone knows the Great American comeback is thats what she said. [ laughter and applause something we as a nation have to be proud of. According to the latest numbers, applause accounted for a third of President Trumps 78minute state of the Union Address [ light laughter ] but he did promise to do it less next year. [ laughter ] House Speaker nancy pelosi was seen tearing up her copy of President Trumps [ cheers and applause of President Trumps state of the Union Address last night once trump finished talking. To be fair, trump also destroyed that speech when he tried to say the phrase, he directed the december assault. He directed the december dassault [ laughter and applause seth thats what she said. [ laughter ] Vice President mike pence this morning said that House Speaker nancy pelosi tearing up a copy of President Trumps state of