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Hi. hello, boss. Hello, harry. I was just going to mail this letter but you can save me the trouble. Oh, sure, whatcha doing . Oh, nothing important, just doing a rewrite on next weeks script. Nothing important . I just wish that all the people who say you have no talent could see the work you do on the show. Gosh. Who says ive got no talent . The people that see you on the television. laughter i mean they wouldnt know the work that you put in to the preparation of the show. Yeah, harry, the letter i just gave you well dont worry about the letter, ill mail it. But the thing is, you oughtta realize george, the people have no, well for instance, hiring the writers. Hiring the actors. And the announcer for next season. I was yes, i was waiting although my option isnt due for 10 more days. Yeah, i was waiting for but youre too sharp of a businessman, youre not gonna want to lose a good announcer. No, no no, am i in danger of losing a good announcer . Well, ive had some pretty good offers y ....
I figured if you were going to the studio today youd want to go with me . Maybe i would, yeah. Oh, im very interested in the technical stuff and the equipment they have there. I like that, especially if its imported from italy . Yeah. Well, if youll excuse me. I have to take some breakfast up to your father. Boy, would i like to trample grapes with her. Tell me ronnie, why is it all those italian actresses have such beautiful shapes. Well, its because of their diet. You know, the italian people eat a lot of olives and you know how round olives are. Well the girls i wind up with must eat nothing but celery. Well, look, all i care about is kathy. This business with marie is just a publicity stunt. doorbell i wish someone else would take her out. You just got yourself a stand in. Oh, kathy. Ron burns, i just came over here to tell you i never want to talk to you again. Hi, kathy. Its nothing. Nothing . Look at that picture, you standing there leaning over that italian girl like the tower ....
But we dont do one thing to encourage them. You know, youre right blanche. Now take george. I doubt if hes had dinner by candlelight since electricity came in. Well, i for one am going to do something about it. Well, if you want to do it for one, do it. But im going to include george and do it for two. Its more fun that way. audience laughter now i am going. Gracie, is breakfast ready . Im starved. It certainly is, lover. audience laughter lover, at 8 00 in the morning . She must have said liver. Bacon is delicious for breakfast. Dear, sit here. Candlelight . Well, no dear, but candlelight is so much more romantic. In fact, it almost matches my fiery moods. Hows that . Well thats real nice, but i had my heart set on some fried liver. Oh, george, look at my gown. Doesnt it do something to you . Its beautiful. Oh, well, before i put on my apron, how do you like the back of it . Well, the back and the front would look better if i could see them over a piece of fried liver. Oh, dear. For a ....
The other day while i was telling him how to fill my tooth. canned laughter now von zell wants to be romantic. Is he conceited he thinks he looks like he did 15 years ago. Wait a minute, ive seen von zell 15 years ago, and if he thinks he looks like that, hes not conceited. canned laughter not that harry is bad looking. Hes not, but hes not handsome, either. Hes like tapioca pudding, nice, but not exciting. canned laughter and also a little lumpy. canned laughter but everybody likes to give advice. And when they give it to an expert, no wonder he loses his temper and tells the other person to keep quiet. Like this doctor i knew who was taking care of this woman who was going to have her fourth child. No matter what he wanted to do, she made a different suggestion, so he finally lost his temper and he says, madam, how many babies have you delivered . And she said, doctor, how many babies have you had . He kept quiet and listened to the expert. And i know one fellow who couldnt help it. ....
My dear mr. Burns, my wife is another gracie allen, and im sure you could use what she said the other night when i came home from work. Well, i didnt finish the letter. I knew right away she wasnt another gracie allen. If she was, she wouldnt be working. audience laughing but i wish you could meet my four writers. When you get to know them, writers are very much like people. Theyre affected by the way they feel. For instance, if one of my married writers should come in with an idea for a story about a husband being kicked around by his wife, i know right away hes temporarily having trouble at home. And if my other married writers think the idea is funny, theyre not having trouble. Thats a temporary condition too. audience laughing then ive got one who plays the horses. If he has a bad week, his jokes arent very funny. If he has a good week, he doesnt write at all because he doesnt need the money. audience laughing that last joke is his. Hes been on a bad losing streak. Entirely on writ ....