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- well, ronnie, why are you throwing your arms around bonnie sue? brian is the one who s graduating. - oh yeah, i got mixed up. brian! - don t you dare. (laughing) - congratulations anyway. bonnie sue, you ready to go to lunch? - i certainly am. - brian, would you like to go with us? - well, no thank you, ronnie, i think i better stay here. i d kinda like to talk to your mother. - oh, alright, come on bonnie sue. - [gracie] uh, ronnie? did your father like the tie, or are you going dutch? - well, let me put it this way. he liked the tie, but loved my exit. (laughing) - now what is it, brian? - well, i got a real bad problem. you see, i ain t gonna graduate at all. - you re not? - i thought i was. i studied hard for all the exams. i had me all the right answers, but they didn t ask me the questions to fit em. (laughing) - oh, this is terrible. - [brian] it sure is, especially since there he is over at the hotel, he s phoning all his friends on the long distance, and he s brag
United-statesNetherlandsTexasChinaPhoenixArizonaGeorge-wellFranceParisRhôalpesSan-franciscoCalifornia - while i m waiting for ronnie,@ i ll see how my opposition is doing. (chase music) (audience laughs) - [ronnie] dad?! - come in. - dad? - yeah? - dad, i ve been thinking it over since breakfast and i ve made a big decision. i m gonna quit college and help you. - [george] you, uh, made this big decision since breakfast, 10 minutes ago? you work and slave for my education. dad, you re getting old. - well, i ve been doing it for years and nobody cared before. (audience laughs) - dad, i just noticed it when i looked at you across the table this morning at breakfast. - well, we have bad lighting in the kitchen, i m having it fixed. (audience laughs) - okay, dad, let me take over. you ve given me the best years of your life, now i want to give you the best years of mine, so i m gonna quit college and let you retire. - what are we gonna live on while we switch from my best years to yours? (audience laughs) - i ll cross that bridge when i get to it. but now, i m gonna call the unive
United-statesMexicoNew-yorkLouisianaBinghamtonCaliforniaSan-franciscoTurkeyMexicanAmericanClark-gableGracie-george the other day while i was telling him how to fill my tooth. (canned laughter) now von zell wants to be romantic. is he conceited! he thinks he looks like he did 15 years ago. wait a minute, i ve seen von zell 15 years ago, and if he thinks he looks like that, he s not conceited. (canned laughter) not that harry is bad looking. he s not, but he s not handsome, either. he s like tapioca pudding, nice, but not exciting. (canned laughter) and also a little lumpy. (canned laughter) but everybody likes to give advice. and when they give it to an expert, no wonder he loses his temper and tells the other person to keep quiet. like this doctor i knew who was taking care of this woman who was going to have her fourth child. no matter what he wanted to do, she made a different suggestion, so he finally lost his temper and he says, madam, how many babies have you delivered? and she said, doctor, how many babies have you had? he kept quiet and listened to the expert. and i know one fe
MexicoAltoonaOhioUnited-statesClevelandSan-franciscoCaliforniaMexicanQuinton-mchaleGracie-georgeLos-angelesCharlie-barrett - oh, isn t young love wonderful? why can t we be like them? - we can. edie! - lou! (audience laughs) - can i finish my breakfast? isn t it thrilling to be young and newly married? or just to be young. (audience laughs) i envy young couples like lou and edie. they have a little problem, then there s an argument and they quarrel for two minutes and make up for three hours. and this happens a few times a day and it s great. i don t mean the quarreling, i mean the to be able to have strength enough to make up so often. i hope ronnie and his pals don t think that marriage is just a long series of arguments. lots of people have been married for years without fighting. but they have to find their happiness in other ways. (audience laughs) besides fighting about salt in soup, one of the worst things that can happen to a married couple is jealousy. when a young wife is suspicious and jealous of her husband, it can cause her almost as much trouble and unhappiness as trusting him. (a
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