incredible week with too many highlights to count. but let's try it anyway. tonight's episode is some of my favorite segments from that week. enjoy, enjoyers of fun things! ♪ ♪ [scattered cheers] >> greg: hello, nashville! we are in nashville, we are here all week, and boy is it great to see you! [scattered applause] after spending so many years in new york city, coming here is like taking a warm bath after living in joy behar's armpit. believe me, if i could move here, i'd already be here! which means it's time for... is a good >> "gutfeld!" present why new york is horrible and stupid and we need to get the hell out of here as soon as, please help! seriously, please help us. >> greg: apparently no matter what befalls the big apple, nyc remains the media capital of the world. it's weird. it's like declaring afghanistan the best place to open a gay friendly bed and breakfast. in new york city you could be pushed in front of a subway train by a guy wearing nothing but a smile and a hospital bracelet, but really, the broadway shows are to die for. nothing makes you forget about your grandma getting mugged for her false teeth than a matinee showing of "hello dolly." have you tried our new york famous bagels? try a local deli, just follow the police chalk outlines on the sidewalk. and be sure to step over the bodies to get to it. the good news is, every homicide comes with a free pickle and a bag of chips. so i want to get out of new york but i have to convince more than my wife. you know, there's my mistress and her kids. three separate states. but also have to convince fox. how do i do that without threatening to go public with those pictures of steve doocy like you've never seen him before? disgusting. we can only show you the upper half. we know that the bosses are watching the show right now. that's because people haven't seen a hit this big since the last video of hunter biden puffing on his crack pipe. thoughts and prayers. so maybe i should compare and contrast both cities. today we went all over nashville and looked at what makes a good city buried real estate, stability, cleanliness of the massage parlors. [scattered cheers] >> greg: they love their massage parlors. so does brian kilmeade. i kid. you think the happy ending is when someone makes it to the ending of one of his books. so here it goes, the comparisons. first let's check out nashville's food. how great is this look to i love the barbecue here. it's so good it has heat asking for seconds. now let's show new york city. yes. that is a rat enjoying a slice of pizza! when we get a pizza with everything on it, we mean it. so how about fashion? all over nashville. great, great looks, hats, boots. it may not be your cup of tea, but who doesn't want to see tyrus in chaps and a bolo tie? we do love our cowboys except for cat. she think's noon means her lunchtime vuong hits. so we've seen nashville. here's nyc fashion. ♪ ♪ >> greg: one of your old boyfriends? >> yeah. >> greg: so what about real estate? here's a typical house in nashville. it's gorgeous. so much space for all your stuff. here's one in manhattan. >> welcome back. i'm with manhattan real estate. so this listing right in the heart of manhattan, open concept, super charming. right now it's 1.5 million asking price. tenant is still here. >> do you want to show you around? >> that would be fantastic. >> greg: there is no bathroom. you don't need a bathroom. so you always hear about southern hospitality. here's nashville. [shouting] >> greg: pretty good, pretty good, pretty good. stop it! here's nyc. [bleep] [bleep]. >> oh, oh! oh, my [bleep]. [bleep]! [indiscernible]. [bleep]. >> i'm still waiting for my pizza. >> you're not getting it. >> greg: still waiting for his pizza. i can't blame them for being mad. if they thought they had tickets to see a comedy show. turns out it was forgiven jimmy kimmel. if you watch closely, he will start crying. so what about entertainment? well, here's nashville. you can walk into any bar and you've got incredibly talented local bands kicking some major ass. meanwhile, here's nyc. >> [indiscernible]. >> greg: look, it's good to see chris cuomo is moonlighting. poor guy. anyway. so i think we know who won this contest here. but the other problem with new york city, it's full of people who never leave new york city and if they do leave and there isn't two shrinks per block, they come apart faster than bidens cop on the corn. they know everything about vegan sushi but nothing about the world. for example, would you believe that border patrol agents going around on horses with writing crops within people? you didn't. because your normal. you're not joy reid. but in new york city, where every person is either homeless or once harassed by a cuomo, or sometimes both, these people are as gullible and stupid as the studio audience for "the view." so apparently the media thought that these were whips. i understand. the only time new yorkers see actual whips are at their sessions with their dominatrix. that's where i met john rich. still owes me 40 bucks. worth every penny though, right? but it's always like liberals to see things that aren't there. i wonder what else they think are whips. >> whips! whips! whips! whips! whips! whips! whips! oranges. [scattered laughter] >> greg: so we have a hellish problem on the border and the dope from delaware had one solution, let's ban horses. which raises the question, has this kite created even one job? he's even spiked unemployment among horses. people like to joke about how stupid everyone else is down south or up north or in flyover country but the moment they step outside their liberal bubble it's like watching tyrus wear khakis. meanwhile -- because with feet -- >> hell no, hold on. >> greg: i'm almost done! i'm almost done! you can come after me. so the rest of america brims with common sense. it's the kind that tells you know, they are not whipping them, they are trying to control the horse on unstable terrain. you don't have to be the lone ranger to figure that out. so that's why we want to leave. it would be happy here. but don't you people get a swelled head. we arty have one of those. we call him jesse. don't clap for him! let's welcome tonight's guests! he's so southern his blood type is sweet tea. hey, aoc, good luck taxing this rich, country music star! she still haunts jim acosta's dreams and nightmares, former white house press secretary, cohost of "outnumbered," kayleigh mcenany! she's like a $100 bill. valuable, but covered in cocaine. fox news contributor, kat timpf! and his 10-gallon hat actually holds 40 gallons. my massive sidekick and the nwa world television champion, tyrus! you know, we were talking before, you live here. is that one reason not to move here? every time i go to nashville, you try to make me shoot guns. >> that's right, you are here all we come if you have a couple hours off we should go shoot guns because we actually have an amendment. so yeah, you want to go shoot some guns, you want to go fish, listen to some country music, write a four wheeler, eat a bunch of barbecue. >> greg: that's my wednesday. >> i don't see how anybody still lives in new york and doesn't move somewhere else, just to your point. >> greg: if you come to new york -- there's got to be something redeeming there. >> listen, i used to love going to new york. i was actually at ground zero yesterday playing a concert for tunnels to tout -- tunnels for towers. thousands of people. i went out and played that. and listen, there's a lot of great people in new york. the people in new york, there's a lot of great people but it was a different vibe. i've never seen that. when i hit was driving down, it's been about a year, the cops look on edge, the air feels different down there. like man, i will always love new york more than ellie, always. if the people there. >> greg: comparing anything to l.a. i like psoriasis more than l.a. >> that's true. but it was definitely different vibe. >> greg: it's changed. it sat, kayleigh. you might be one of the few people in the planet that just moved to new york. >> i'm the only crazy person -- i still live in the freedom loving state of florida, but sadly i have to spend a lot of days in what we call the deathtrap. he is to play for the new york mets, he loves the mets, but the deathtrap of new york city he cannot speak for. >> greg: are they any good? that's baseball, right, tyrus? >> i'm still stuck on you talking about me wearing khakis. what's the problem? have you ever worn khakis? has everyone ever seen you in a little pair of khakis? >> greg: i've been seen at work in a pair of khakis. >> on the show? >> greg: not recently, no. >> i choose to dress this way. >> greg: it would be like -- >> it doesn't work with my skintone. people would think i didn't have pants on. same tone, why would you wear the pants? >> greg: it always has to be about race, doesn't it you might >> you went there, talking about seeing him in khakis. >> greg: you f khakis. >> why? >> i put one leg on my shoe, i can pull off some khakis. next time you show up with khakis, i will pull them off. >> greg: this was all an elaborate plan for him to say that. >> do or member the night you called me drunk at geraldo's house and you called me and said come pick me up. you were wearing khakis. i did see him once at geraldo's house. >> greg: so, kat, how are you doing? >> you know, i'm okay, but i do have to leave new york. you hear my voice. give it a few years, kayleigh, you're going to sound just like me. i'm 32 years old, i am rapidly aging in that city. it's destroying me, it destroys all of us. i need to move. maybe here. [applause] >> i will say, if i could, i came up from florida for the first time -- >> that's why you still sound healthy. >> within an hour a rat scurried across my feet, there was a domestic violence dispute on my hallway and there was a man on the side of the road. that's a normal day in new york. >> greg: i dream for days like that. we've got to move on. enough new york city bashing. i still like new york but as long as fox is still there -- this, you have to understand, my monologue wasn't for anybody at home. this was just targeted at my boss. and then they're going to look at the ratings and go maybe he's got a point. anyway, i should shut up now, i still have a job. nashville, we are still getting started. just getting started. up next, kamala gets the help she needs as her popularity recedes. ♪ ♪ [scattered cheers] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ experience the power of sanctuary at the lincoln wish list event. so many people are overweight now, and asking themselves, experience the power of sanctuary "why can't i lose weight?" for most, the reason is insulin resistance, and they don't even know they have it. conventional starvation diets don't address insulin resistance. that's why they don't work. now there's release from golo. it naturally helps reverse insulin resistance, stops sugar cravings, and releases stubborn fat all while controlling stress and emotional eating. at last, a diet pill that actually works. go to golo.com to get yours. don't settle for products that give you a sort-of white smile. try crest whitening emulsions... ...for 100% whiter teeth. its highly active peroxide droplets... ...swipe on in seconds. better. faster. 100% whiter teeth. shop crestwhitesmile.com. one of my favorite supplements is qunol turmeric. turmeric helps with healthy joints and inflammation support. unlike regular turmeric supplements qunol's superior absorption helps me get the full benefits of turmeric. the brand i trust is qunol. ♪ ♪ >> greg: all right, it's university sequel to separate but equal. woke campuses create a quandary separating students like their laundry. western washington university, home of the fighting -- has created segregating housing for black students this fall semester, and no, that's not a top story from 1954 when nancy pelosi was serving her eighth term. here's how they explained it during something called a webinar. terrible. >> the opportunity to live in a shared space. in a space with others who have a shared identity, specifically marginalized identity. this is meant to provide a safer space, a welcoming space and a space for black identified students to connect. >> greg: rachel dolezal, you hear that? you could have roomed with all the other white women said they were black. according to that white woman. but our race split universities a triumph of diversity? it's called a welcoming space if you're black, as if the other spaces where whites are around aren't. if that's a terrible, terrible signal. stanford and cornell have also adopted similar housing programs. so -- just like the racists they once hated, so we figured why not resurrect other awful things from the past that we long gotten rid of. for example. how about only men being allowed to vote. [boos] frankly everything went downhill when they changed that. a sexist might say! how dare you applaud or laugh at that! what about leeches to treat diseases? i'm wearing a leech right now. that's why you never have to go to the bathroom. it does pinch. also, why not throw suspected witches in the water to see if they float? it's really a win-win. if they drown, they're innocent and if they float, they become a cohost on "gutfeld!." >> you called me a cohost! >> greg: anyway. since we are talk about segregation and race, i thought the expert here would be a skinny white girl. so what are your thoughts? >> are you really going to me for -- yeah. i am so qualified to be the leading voice of a generation on black issues. look at me! >> greg: my argument is you probably have just as much expertise as the woman we were listening to in the webinar. >> was that three white people on that? >> greg: i couldn't tell. >> it was three white people on that panel. look, the official frequently asked questions on the website, which i would also -- went to, because i'm a very hard worker. it said no students required or banned from joining and it's like yeah, i would think you would put that there because that would be illegal. right? you can't do that. i mean, i'm not a lawyer, i didn't go to law school. sorry, dad. he's here. >> greg: your dad is the one over there crying right now. >> he doesn't cry. >> greg: could this be pushed by activists who are mostly white and not just secretly racist, because they are pushing that -- maybe they don't want to be around black people. >> i've been on enough college campuses that i can officially say they are not racist, they are just that dumb. this is what happens when you -- they actually proudly are just that dumb but this is what happens when you rinse the school of hard academics and replace them with crt, racial training, let's all talk about inclusion -- they don't know that it's repackaging the same thing that's happening, it's like driving around in your car, 15 minutes you get lost in 15 minutes it's like i am right back where i started. they don't realize we want to be so antiracist that we're just going to be racist. that's what we're going to do. and i'm wondering for the black people that are in that dorm, you look up at a certain point and then you go wait a second, this is a space -- a safe space for us, just repackaging it and making it sound different, so is that liquid jim crow law should have been? how do we make you oppress yourself, that's kind of the entire democratic narrative right now. >> greg: you don't learn anything from other people. if you want to learn about different cultures -- i would totally force segregation if it's adult and children. >> we know that. that's why you've never invited me over with the kids. >> greg: where do i put them? >> stash them away. >> greg: i have a container out back. >> i thought you might go to me second after kat since twitter says that candace owens is awaits a pharmacist buried >> greg: that's right! >> is the fifth generation norwegian who grew up in minnesota with all white people, but i will tell you, to your point, i benefited the world over by going to school, joining a basketball team, joining the military, where i met everyone from every background, every race. and learn from them! the good, the bad, and the ugly, and i learned about myself. the last thing i needed was to go anywhere and be told okay, that's where the white kids are and that's where the black kids are. tell me how that makes any part of our world better. and you are right, their so lost in their own leftist thinking it's like bazooka joe said, have an open mind but don't let your brain fall out. and that's exactly what they've done. >> greg: i love that you're quoting the wrapper from bubblegum. fox news' premier intellectual. why don't they have you on that wall street show on the weekends? because of a "wall street journal" report? >> greg: i think it would be great. he has nothing on you. i believe that's his name. tyrus, what are your thoughts? you have any thoughts on this? >> you know, i think about my college experience and how important it was to be multicultural because usually the white kids had a car. [laughter] at my dorm i was going -- i was on the middle of nowhere him in the other brothers didn't have -- we have the guy who was from the neighborhood delma hall, he had the van, he was really popular. we had the asian kid, we went to him for math questions. we had a kid who came in, his name was messiah and he was from afghanistan it i immediately felt sorry for him because i was like your parents named you messiah? and you went to this college? a name like that, the pressure must be terrible. messiah? i'm just tyrus. they didn't even give me a last name. but it was important for all of us. we needed each other. we had to work together. that was how college worked, you got to meet different people from different things. you changed your mind, you came in thinking one way and you actually spent time with people and then when you graduate -- although you can't get a job, but you do have a better understanding what everyone else is like because you've all been broke together, stuck in a room with a really jerk ra watching you. you had to work together. so you put a bunch of brothers in the same room together, we are going to be like man, i'm going over to the white boy's place, bye. they've got good food and someone's going to have a car. a car is important college! >> greg: you just explained why there are so many more white serial killers than black serial killers. it's about the van. it's about the van! we cracked so many cold cases here. we are like a guy who drinks beer. up next -- sorry. it was graffiti something to hide from terrorists plotting homicide? ♪ ♪ oking is freaking hard. you get advice like: try hypnosis... or... quit cold turkey. kidding me?! instead, start small. with nicorette. which can lead to something big. start stopping with nicorette with ww, i lost 30 pounds and i feel incredible. i love the new program because the app does all the work for you. it's never too late to start. download the ww app today for a 14-day free trial. ♪ ♪ >> greg: is this cyborg a keeper or a spying amazon creeper? amazon has launched a new robot to look after your family and help with the household tasks. good for you, pete. here it is. that's not it! i'm joking. here's the robot. i kid! i kid, i kid, i kid! here's the real deal. it's called astro. it has three legs, 42-inch arm, a 10-inch touchscreen, and an ai camera that can recognize faces. if successful, the robot can be used to replace family members. finally. god, i hate my family. it cost $999, which is 666 upside down. i will let you decide what that means. but i already bought my own robot that cost just 50 bucks. >> job bought 4,000. >> commencing ironing sequence. >> isn't this great? >> let's change the mood. >> pick from these subjects. counts continue to plummet worldwide, gonorrhea is unchecked by antibiotics and loneliness and depression have soared during the pandemic. sequence completed. [scattered applause and laughter] >> greg: she actually left with the robot, which is kind of amazing. you know, tyrus, i have a theory. we need to make the robots cute so we don't beat it up when it doesn't work. you can't beat up a cute robot. >> you think i carry about a fuzzy robot spying on me and my man cave? this is a horrible idea. this is another reason, parents, you've got to parent, you've got to watch them. they're going to manipulate the computer, robots, better than you could even -- literally one of my kids put offering as his name on his own school learning. so like geniuses. little robots don't work and eventually and the wives who think this is a great way to spy on your husband to see what he's really doing in the garage or what he's really doing in his man cave, or can hide in the back of his truck, it is still going to be the same story. cup of water. one splash, no more robot. [scattered applause] >> greg: you do realize when the robots take over, they're going to remember this moment. they're going to like me because i've been defending them. if arnold. >> once again, cup of water. >> greg: pete, you have like 37 kids. this seems like it could be very helpful for you. >> it's true. although i was going to go where tyrus went. you think i'm going to know more about the robot than my kids? no chance! they will turn that on you so quick and they will use it all day long until manipulate it to make sounds and do weird things and then pretty soon, what's useful to me? it can even bring me a beer from the other -- that's why i have kids. bring me a beer from the other room. >> greg: that would make sense! >> i don't mean to robot. >> greg: you have like 12 kids so they are everywhere getting you beer. >> all day long, what you think football sundays? but i am with you that robots are -- you've converted me that robots are the scary future. >> greg: candace, what you think? >> i have so much to say about this, this has been a pet peeve of mine forever. i remember when alexa was coming out and i went my girlfriends house and i am like are you so lazy that i actually don't understand -- woke up one day, the richest man in the world and he said i really would like to help you turn the lights off. obviously they are collecting data, listening to conversations. even -- i have a child, i won't even the baby monitor -- it's super expensive and it has alexa. i don't know what jeff bezos would say to my baby in its grip, but it's not going down. i had the old school janky '90s one that's black and good, is he crying? absolutely not. not in my household. >> greg: it sounds like this thing is more like a baby mama monitor. fun with language. >> i had the same concerns about amazon watching me in my home, but amazon already knows a lot of incriminating stuff about me. like what i order on amazon. and when. there's no conspiracy there, so i feel like it's already too late for all of us. >> greg: join us! join the robot overlords! save yourself before it's too late! because i'm not going to help you. i'm with them. i'm with them. out with you guys, you guys are over. i'm with you now. me and pete, we're going to open up a robot bed-and-breakfast. up next, lucky for you, it's tom shillue. ♪ ♪ as a dj, i know all about customization. that's why i love liberty mutual. they customize my car insurance, so i only pay for what i need. how about a throwback? ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪ only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: at what age are you sure you're finally mature? the next topic, the worst word on the planet, adulting. merriam-webster, that's a dictionary, says adult thing is slang for behaving like an adult but i say whoever invented it should be thrown into a bottomless pit with spikes at the bottom. i know that doesn't make sense, but hear me out. i've been around larry. for me, adulting is when i started making those art films downtown. they said would be tasteful. i said not on my watch. according to a new study, 35% of people so the top sign of becoming an adult was when they finally had to think about saving money. they said others should feel like an adult at age 25. i was 25 i was still sitting on santa's lap. at least he said he was santa. kat, kat, kat, your 45. >> i turned 33 next month. start thinking about what you're going to get me for my birthday. >> greg: i will surprise you. when did you first decide you were an adult? >> i don't know what that means. i left home when i was a teenager, so i was pretty independent, but it was still always asking my dad for his advice on things and i still do, but the only reason it's a little less now is because i married someone was a lot like my dad. so now i ask him. >> greg: there you go, that's what it's all about. >> you find your dad younger and you marry him. >> greg: you go back in time and commit some deviant act. all right, judge -- >> this scares me. go ahead. >> i was afraid too. >> he's not related. he's happy. >> he just got married. like what, two months? >> five. >> for a year! >> greg: i think that being an adult is gauged by milestones, not by age, because our life spans are stretching, so it's not about being 21. your first paycheck, right? your first psychedelic experience, judge. >> i never did a psychedelic experience. >> greg: we are going to be doing some silicide and in the green room. >> i don't know what it is that i don't want to know. here's the thing, adulting, whatever that means, i've never heard that word before, depends on when you got your first job. i got my first job selling photos over the telephone at the age of 12. and then i went to work at a dairy and -- no cows -- milk cows on cans. >> greg: you can't make that hand movement. >> that's when i became an adult. >> greg: that's when larry became an adult. you had to use both your hands? >> then you start a bank account. >> greg: start a bank account. you know what it's like to get the people who loved over the phone and they say to you everybody i know is dead. you can still lose a photo and send it to me. because i could use the sale. they are $5. >> greg: all right, tyrus. >> what? what in the hell can i possibly say to this? i came out a grown man and cried. the doctor slapped me, i took his arm behind his back, took his wallet. >> greg: i don't know if that's true. >> i believe you, cyrus! >> do know how hard it is to be born with tattoos, greg? >> greg: i didn't know you could pass tattoos on in the womb. >> it wasn't, i did it myself. i got this. oh, come on! [laughter] >> greg: i am going to say, last word to larry. emphasis on word. you notice that it isn't plural. >> -grown up since i was 14 years old, got my driver's license and really found out about girls. i've worked, drove the car with my brothers and sisters and mama, all over america singing songs and daddy was gone a lot working. i was the man of the house and he said work is noble, go get a job and report back to me when you get one. >> greg: there you go. all right, with got comedy coming up! up next, -- stick around for joe devito! ♪ ♪ (vo) for fourteen years, subaru and our retailers have been sharing the love with those who need it most. now subaru is the largest automotive donor to make-a-wish and meals on wheels. and the largest corporate donor to the aspca and national park foundation. get a new subaru during the share the love event and subaru will donate two hundred and fifty dollars to charity. (swords clashing) -had enough? -no... arthritis. here. aspercreme arthritis. full prescription-strength? reduces inflammation? thank the gods. don't thank them too soon. kick pain in the aspercreme. earn about covid-19, the more questions we have. the biggest question now, what's next? what will covid bring in six months, a year? if you're feeling anxious about the future, you're not alone. calhope offers free covid-19 emotional support. call 833-317-4673, or live chat at calhope.org today. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so, this is part of the show where we usually do some fun story and i end up making some weird reference that creeps on my family, but frankly, i'm hung over from my first night in nashville and it's a miracle that i've made it this far. but one of the best things about this show is discovering great new young talent and watching them take off. but then there's this guy. please welcome comedian joe mackie! >> hello, everybody! hey, everybody! wow, wow! it is great to -- i'm sorry? it is great to be here with all the bachelorettes. hey, it is weird times were living in now come again. politicians keep saying we're all in this together, but then of the only ones that don't have to follow the lactone rules. i don't think it's right to say the word "we," when it doesn't include everyone. it reminds me back when they killed osama bin laden. people kept coming up to me in time square saying we got bin laden. we got bin laden. and i'm like honestly, guys, i had nothing to do with any of that. i found out later. i was not on seal team six. in fact, i don't think i would meet any of the requirements unless they are looking for a slow runner that pees when he's afraid. [scattered applause] i think the only thing i'll miss after covid is finally behind us is going into a business and seeing a note that tells me they clean something that i've assumed my entire life they'd always cleaned. i don't think i'm going back to that diner. they brag about washing forks. mental illness has come to the forefront during the lockdown. a friend confided to my buddy and myself that he was feeling kind of depressed and my buddy blurted out why don't you just try to be happier and i said that's pretty bad, you just told a person with mental illness to use his brain to not have mental illness. that was the whole problem area to start. that's like telling a person with schizophrenia, why don't you just try to see the people that are there. that's not fair. that's the thing though the worst at. i don't even like it when they call them paranoid schizophrenics because if you don't know if the guy behind you is real, i say you've earned the right to be paranoid. i cheered myself up recently. i know it's not ethical, but i hooked up an electric motor to my -- my physical health is not improving but my mental health is doing great. now that i beat all those exercise nerds. while i'm eating a sandwich. [scattered applause] but things have been going rough these past 18 months or so. it was march 16th, 2020, and they said don't leave your place in less it's an emergency. that afternoon, i saw a mouse, so i purchased some glue traps. i'd like to spend the next couple of minutes explaining why those are a terrible idea. because here's what will happen when they work. a mouse will walk over the glue trap and become permanently stuck, then that's it. there's not even any poison on that glue trap, which to me seems like a glaring oversight by the manufacturer. now you're left with a situation where a mouse is permanently stuck to cardboard in your kitchen and he's alive. that creates its own dilemma. now i have to decide whether or not i'm going to execute that mouse like some sort of young would-serial killer. or do i have to start feeding that guy? so i've been feeding him. in a stunning turn of events, on feeding the mouse i was just trying to kill. i've been giving him mostly simple sugars so he will get diabetes sooner or later. thank you guys so much, i really appreciate it. [scattered applause] >> greg: thank you, joe! we shall be right back. ♪ ♪ one of my favorite supplements is qunol turmeric. turmeric helps with healthy joints and inflammation support. unlike regular turmeric supplements qunol's superior absorption helps me get the full benefits of turmeric. the brand i trust is qunol. at university of phoenix, we have scholarships for everyone hard at work, no matter where you work. get up to a $3,000 scholarship, starting with your first course. explore your opportunities at phoenix.edu ♪ ♪ >> greg: it's been an amazing look back at the time in nashville. we have a little bit of time... so here is more stand up from that week. this time from tom here and speak with the jingles were politically incorrect. hot dogs, fat kids, fat kids. [laughter] fat kids listed all the children of the world, start with the fat kids. was there a discussion about that? should we start with the fat kids? absolutely as our customer base. secure and move on from there. fat kids, skinny kids, extremely specific demographic there. 50 kids, they said 50 kids. and they showed 50 kids. holding a hot dog bawling his eyes out. well, you are good at it, crybaby. even kids with... chicken pox! >> wow! that is appetizing. even kids with chicken pox. look, i did not go to copywriting school but i'm sure rule number one is don't associate your product with a disease. you guys are great. thank you so much. >> greg: that was excellent. thank you for joining us. tonight, more great stand up comedy and more of me. we will see you then. i am greg gutfeld, and i love you, america. ♪ ♪ >> hello dominic "fox news @ night" a mike emanuel and for shannon bream. breaking tonight, five people are dead including the suspect more winded including a police officer with an apparent shooting spree in and around denver tonight. denver police confirmed two separate shootings and fox affiliate reporting a shooting incident nrb

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