incredible week with too many highlights to count. but let s try it anyway. tonight s episode is some of my favorite segments from that week. enjoy, enjoyers of fun things! [scattered cheers] greg: hello, nashville! we are in nashville, we are here all week, and boy is it great to see you! [scattered applause] after spending so many years in new york city, coming here is like taking a warm bath after living in joy behar s armpit. believe me, if i could move here, i d already be here! which means it s time for. is a good gutfeld! present why new york is horrible and stupid and we need to get the hell out of here as soon as, please help! seriously, please help us. greg: apparently no matter what befalls the big apple, nyc remains the media capital of the world. it s weird. it s like declaring afghanistan the best place to open a gay friendly bed and breakfast. in new york city you could be pushed in front of a subway train by a guy wearing nothing but a smile and a
monologues from the last month or two to share with you tonight. it wasn t easy narrowing it down, because much like anyone who watches the show, they are all winners to me. roll it, dolores. [scattered applause] greg: happy super-duper monday, america! what a glorious week and we shared. what did you do with that extra hour? well, pete hegseth is here tonight. there he is. gorgeous! [scattered applause] so patriotic. let s see what he did with that extra time. he is such a patriot that when he bangs his head, he sees stars and stripes, and when he poops it s red, white, and p.u. to the monologue. the biggest, most insane story political enemies! greg: got to shorten his titles. so it s 2021 and is monologue is on the steele dossier. like a birthmark, the story never ever goes away. it is that my fault? no. i would much prefer to do something on joe biden breaking wind at the climate summit. [scattered laughter] that breeze was so hot greta fienberg asked him to s
in new york city tonight. the president is a racist and he is a demagogue. greg: over the past six month americans have seen the largest increase in traffic deaths since we began tracking them 40 years ago, back when kat was only five. therefore the lemonheads see it. 36,800 ute deaths the most fatalities since 2007 and that s even with pandemic cautions drastically reducing the number of drivers on the road, so what gives? some experts are saying this is due to an overall lack of civility in our society, lack of civility we have seen in school board meetings over mask mandates and on airplanes. greg: which again raises the question, did don lemon get any oxygen at birth? where was he born? on the moon? ris, some experts are blaming lack of civility the kind of incivility you see as school board meetings over mask. i wonder who he could be talking about. all those carts in its most because by angry parents are conservatives upset over a tax on their civil liberties.
greg: he is such a patriot that when he bangs his head he sees stars and stripes, and when he poops, it s red whtie and pee you. political enemies! greg: got to shorten his titles. so it s 2021 and this monologue is on the steele dossier. like a birthmark, this story never ever goes away. is that my fault? no. i would much prefer to do something on joe biden breaking wind at the climate summit. that breeze was so hot, greta thunberg asked him to stand in front of the windmill. but look, that was the only honest thing to come out of joe since he became president. [scattered laughter] to easy! to easy! don t applaud! we don t have enough time for the applause! okay, applaud. but that s why that story was my first choice but now unfortunately it s number two. [scattered laffer] greg: i m not beneath anything. and now the legacy media is smug smuggling the dossier story like it s a bedridden aunt with a lot of money. but here we are different. the dossier hoax is like
charlie kirk, the founder of tp usa is here. he has no idea where he is because he s hammered on relief factor. sebastian gorka is the dealer. tom [scattered applause] i guess someone got sick and we needed a filling. what a coup to land him as a guest. i kid, he works next door as a greeter at applebee s. and of course kat. you know kat. currently she s living on a steady diet of bait smoke and/or olives. so about my weekend, it was great. i watched a movie called ambulance. no? that s a huge change from my usual weekend when i watch a movie while in in an ambulance. it s nonstop a generalized action, and no surprise, it s directed by michael bay, who has all the subtlety of nancy pelosi s plastic surgeon. but the movie is also a finger in the eye of modern cinema in that unlike the others it aims to please the audience. it hits you in the face like it made a joke about will smith s wife. so i thought why not pirate bay to create our new ad for gutfeld! ? why not, indee