Off from news from the world in boxing, the only sport where it always looks like the athlete is yus about to kiss, watching grown men punch each other is the perfect way to work off some of that post thanksgiving a gresmghts and over the weekend there were two big fights that showed how the sweet science is as sweet as ever. Saturday night 54 year old mike tyson fought 51 year old roy jones, jr. , eight two minute rounds at staple center. The fight was unofficially ruled a draw by the judges ringside. The other match of the night, youtube star jay paul took on Nate Robinson, eventually paul hit robinson, thats right, knock out punch, sent him right to the canvas. Trevor wow. That is the first tame have i seen a human get dumped, it looked like one minute he was trying to catch a bus and he was like oh no, im supposed to be taking a nap. Can someone tell me why a youtube star is fieght an nba star anyway. What is this, is this 2020 making shit up, it doesnt make sense t sounds like the
Office after twisting his ankle while playing with his dog major. According to a transition team. Bidens doctor saying the president elect following a ct scan sustained hairline fractures in his right foot and will likely require a walking boot for several weeks. Trevor wow. Biden broke his foot playing with his dog. That is such a strange accident or was it . Someone check who that dog voted for. And why does bied enneed a walking boot. He shouldnt be walking. He should be riding a golf cart everywhere. Its called being president ial. Also, i know this is i hard one to figure out but the president elect getting hurt by a dog really puts the secret service in a difficult position. Because how do they handle this. Dog on the ground, hands in the hair, roll over. Oh my god, hes so cute, look at him guys, he wants a belly rub. Cant stay mad at that face. All right but dogs or not, joe biden has to be more careful. He broke his foot before he even got into office. At this rate by the end o
[grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student Council Meeting all we did was talk about what colors to make the stupid Sadie Hawkins dance Student Council is retarded [chime sounding] the sun is up, and the birds are chirping. Im casey miller, and these are the morning announcements. I have a letter from second Grade Student brian felner. Brian writes, dear casey, why is our School President such a fat, stupid dickhead . My desk is broken, and so far, eric cartman has done nothing about it. Will you please let that walking bowl of anus pus know that we are not happy . Well, brian, i couldnt agree more. Our
Christmas tree. And just like Everything Else in 2020, thissiers tree is doing the best it can. The Rockefeller Christmas tree in new york city is usually lifts our spirits this time of year. But this area well lets just say that by 2020 standards, its pretty perfect. The tree was put into place atop of rockefeller center. Look at all the holes and it just kind of, i dont know, it kind of loosks look a very, like a Charlie Brown tree, like a large version of the Charlie Brown tree. Trevor into, no, no, no. You leave that poor tree alone. You already killed if, now you are going to make fun of its appearance. Who are you people, do you do this at funerals too, damn, uncle mark, you got fat, look at you, you cant even fit in that casket, anyway, rest in peace, were going to miss you. I mean think about it, that tree has been through a pandemic, a race war and a contested election. I think it deserves a round of applause for just staying upright. And by the way, its not like that tree ask
But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your honor although, yes, i did try t