[grunting loudly] you cant just take dances with smurfs and call it Something Else [grunting loudly] [school bell rings] [groans] dude, what happened . Youre not doing the morning announcements anymore . No, because it turns out that by rule, the student body president cant also be the morning announcement reader oh, well. At least as president , you can run the school the way you want. I cant do jack i went to my First Student Council Meeting all we did was talk about what colors to make the stupid Sadie Hawkins dance Student Council is retarded [chime sounding] the sun is up, and the birds are chirping. Im casey miller, and these are the morning announcements. I have a letter from second Grade Student brian felner. Brian writes, dear casey, why is our School President such a fat, stupid dickhead . My desk is broken, and so far, eric cartman has done nothing about it. Will you please let that walking bowl of anus pus know that we are not happy . Well, brian, i couldnt agree more. Our
Christmas tree. And just like Everything Else in 2020, thissiers tree is doing the best it can. The Rockefeller Christmas tree in new york city is usually lifts our spirits this time of year. But this area well lets just say that by 2020 standards, its pretty perfect. The tree was put into place atop of rockefeller center. Look at all the holes and it just kind of, i dont know, it kind of loosks look a very, like a Charlie Brown tree, like a large version of the Charlie Brown tree. Trevor into, no, no, no. You leave that poor tree alone. You already killed if, now you are going to make fun of its appearance. Who are you people, do you do this at funerals too, damn, uncle mark, you got fat, look at you, you cant even fit in that casket, anyway, rest in peace, were going to miss you. I mean think about it, that tree has been through a pandemic, a race war and a contested election. I think it deserves a round of applause for just staying upright. And by the way, its not like that tree ask
My special election fallout shelter which is stocked with everything i need. Ive got a bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean my hands and another bottle of Hand Sanitizer to clean the other bottle of Hand Sanitizer. If the power goes down, i have board games, i have a boom box over there and something close to a playstation. Most importantly, ive got this place locked down tight. This election fallout shelter is grade 5 military bunker level which means its impenetrable to nuclear weapons, Chemical Attacks and even the most roy wood, jr. Hey, whats up . Trevor how did you get into my election fallout shelter. Im doing the show live. This is top security, what are you doing . I got your password, wakanda 123. Trevor dont say it out loud. You want me to leave . Trevor no, youre in the bubble. Did you get tested . No, aint got no 5g in my neighborhood. Im good. Trevor you should still get tested. Its a joke, calm down, affect. Trevor i cant calm down on a night like tonight. Ready for Electio
Tessa thompson is here, everybody cheers and applause so excited for that also on tonights show, biden and trump go head to head. You can now uber in the sky. And the u. S. Womens soccer team is under fire for being too good. So, lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with some international news. You may remember last year, french president Emmanuel Macron and President Trump were besties. They attended events together, they shared secret handshakes, and macron even gave trump a friendship tree as a symbol of how their friendship would grow and prosper for many years to come. Well, a year later, the relationship has soured. And get this the tree died. laughter but macron, being french, refuses to give up on love. President trump is set to receive a New Friendship tree from french president Emmanuel Macron. Macron promised to send the new oak tree after the tree he gave him during last years state visit died. He says the death of the tree does not symbolize the topsyturvy
Shh. But its okay. You cant help it. Its how you were raised. What you were taught. My heritage is irish, so im prone to being moody. And youre heritage. Well, you know. You can be a little sneaky sometimes and not even realize it. Im sorry, kyle, but. Everybodys trying to live life the best they can. Its hard enough without your people always trying to get ahead. Dude. Did she just call me a dirty jew . Happy anniversary to you. Cha, cha, cha. Happy anniversary to you. Cha, cha, cha. Happy anniversary, mr. President. Happy anniversary to you [ applause ] congratulations, mr. President. Looks like many more years of the same are to come. Oh, i dont think so. I think the next three years are going to be even better. [ laughs ] [ nervous laughter ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Yeah