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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Now now the selloff [ applause ] wasnt due entirely to coronavirus. It was also due in large part to war over oil prices launched by saudi arabia still, a l o understandably worried and while theres no reason to panic, governments across the world are taking extreme measures to mitigate the outbreak over the weekend, italy put millions of people on lockdown in regions hit hardest by the outbreak where people were rushing to catch the last trains leaving milan before the lockdown took effect officials in italy putting 16 Million People on lockdown. Now, thats a quarter of a countrys population video shows people rushing to catch the last train as it left northern italy seth this is what italians look like when theyre rushing [ laughter ] obviously [ cheers and applause i mean, obviously in italy, to run for a train is a fate worse than death [ laughter ] im shocked they didnt have cigarettes in one hand and aperol spritzes in the other i mean, if youve ever been to italy, you know that

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

The stock market today suffered its worst day since 2008, while great person trump suffered his worst day he was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For, i think, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, since, i dont know, yesterday [ laughter ] dr. John trump i like this stuff. President Trumps White House i really get it. Social media director, this people are surprised that i weekend, shared a video of understand it. Former Vice President joe biden every one of these doctors said, that was edited so it appeared how do you know so much about this . Biden was saying, we can only maybe i have a natural ability maybe i should have done that reelect donald trump. Instead of running for president. They doctored a video to make seth yes yes, you should have joe biden look bad [ applause ] [ laughter ] you should have applied to that is so unnecessary medical school i mean, for real, here is how and you should have filmed the reactions of the faculty of that here is how he star

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Nothing but facts. Everyone is talking about how democrats want to impeach me very unfair. [ light laughter ] very unfair. Now Everyone Wants to know how i feel but really my advisor and favorite halloween decoration Kellyanne Conway said it best hes amused he thinks its funny. Hes amused. Shes right im amused [ laughter ] im amused thats how i look when im amused im amused because with me out of the office, you would be left with the worlds most salt mike pence wait a second, im getting word on my very real ear piece we received a statement from the whistle blower himself lets roll the clip. Hi, everyone, its me the whistle blower im going to let you know that i made a huge mistake when i blew my whistle donald trump is totally innocent if anything, it was about erasing the whole complaint thing. Once again, im innocent he is innocent. Once again, i am innocent. He is innocent. Wow, there you have it, america. I guess im off the hook after all. Next, joe biden was very mean to me in a

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

In that case, lets get to the news President Trump this morning attacked the impeachment inquiry tweeting, this impeachment nonsense is just the continuation of the witch hunt hoax. Okay, this is beside the point but witch hunt and hoax mean the same thing [ laughter ] calling the impeachment a witch hunt hoax is like calling you dumb donald trump. [ laughter ] you dont [ cheers and applause need both. According to a new poll, 50 of americans say theyre ready to elect an openly gay president if for no other reason, just to have a president whose suit fits [ laughter and applause what are you doing, man . I mean you look like a kid playing a grownup in a school play. [ laughter ] President Trump today tweeted an edited image that depicts him presenting the dog that participated in the raid on the leader of isis with a medal with the caption American Hero. Sure, you say that now, but wait til you find out that dog is testifying in the impeachment inquiry. [ laughter ] also, its a good th

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Attacked the impeachment inquiry tweeting, this impeachment nonsense is just the continuation of the witch hunt hoax. Okay, this is beside the point but witch hunt and hoax mean the same thing [ laughter ] calling the impeachment a witch hunt hoax is like calling you dumb donald trump. [ laughter ] you dont [ cheers and applause need both. According to a new poll, 50 of americans say theyre ready to elect an openly gay president if for no other reason, just to have a president whose suit fits [ laughter and applause what are you doing, man . I mean you look like a kid playing a grownup in a school play. [ laughter ] President Trump today tweeted an edited image that depicts him presenting the dog that participated in the raid on the leader of isis with a medal with the caption American Hero. Sure, you say that now, but wait til you find out that dog is testifying in the impeachment inquiry. [ laughter ] also, its a good thing they put you American Hero in there, otherwise it just looks

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