John bolton, so i was wrong. He could find someone more dangerous than john bolton [ light laughter ] President Trump announced today that he will consider banning the sale of all nontobacco flavored vaping products, which is a shame, because vaping was the only way most American Kids would ever find out what fruit tastes like that [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats a peach . [ laughter ] the third democratic primary debate is tomorrow night and im going to be gaffe free this time, said joe biden, naked from the waist down. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause a court in scotland ruled today that british Prime Minister Boris Johnson illegally suspended parliament in an effort to push through his brexit plan and may have deliberately misled Queen Elizabeth to get her to sign off on the move. Said the queen, release the hounds. [ laughter and applause a Six Flags Theme Park in maryland has announced a new promotion in which visitors spend 30 hours inside a coffin to win a pair of season passe
This may take three weeks. Whats happening . And schiff has sent a tow truck to drag your as to the House Intelligence Committee. This conversation never happened. cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight quid pro quo. Plus stephen welcomes senator Bernie Sanders and musical guest Brittany Howard, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its stephen colus laying stephen whoo hello cheers and applause beautiful. Beautiful. My friends, thank you for being here. piano riff welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It has been a hell of a week. cheers and applause really fast, things are happening. To paraphrase our president , the news has been moving on us like a bitch. laughter a lot of people are celebrating because donald trump is in serious trouble, but trump has shown over and over again that when hes cornered, hell fight like that rabid weasel on his head. laughter p
Not know the identity of the whistleblower who filed a complaint against President Trump, adding, i mean, melania t. could be anyone. [ laughter ] according to nbc news, top trump allies say the white house is privately very worried about the involvement of Rudy Giuliani in President Trumps discussion with ukraine also worried about rudy, children who forgot to check under the bed. [ laughter ] he cant be here, hes on fox news. President trump this morning attempted to solidify republican support in the face of impeachment proceedings, tweeting, quote, stick together play their game and fight hard, republicans. Our country is at stake. When he goes all caps, its got to be something serious like the future of the country or, you know, a meal [ laughter ] according to cnn, people close to President Trump believe hes in denial about the gravity of impeachment, and also just regular gravity. [ laughter ] is it me or do you guys feel the earths pull . [ applause ] today was lumberjack day i
Gaffely cleans up your errors in no time. We choose truth over facts. We choose the truth over love is full no stranger to you instead of voters saying, what a gaffe, theyll be saying, that cartoon pickle can really sing. Also available in republican. We have i dont mind if its wintertime or its summertime applause panting its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, cat 5 crazy. Plus, stephen welcomes jim gaffigan and ann curry featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo hi there stephen thank you ladies and gentlemen. Its good to be back. Jon oh, yeah, its real good to be back. Stephen welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It does feel good to be back. We just returned from a twoweek break. I didnt watch any news. Hows Kirsten Gillibrand doing . Really . Shes out . Well, thats just more votes for jay inslee. What . but he had glasses he was the on
Direct pitch for the president of ukraine to investigate joe biden and his son. Heres one of the quotes. Theres a lot of talk about bidens son, quote, that biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that. Whatever you can do with the attorney general that would be great. The attorney general hes referring to is attorney general barr. The president used the name of attorney general barr and Rudy Giuliani who he said would be looking into the matter. He said both men would reach out to the president of ukraine and ask him to get started on this. The president of ukraine said he was going to investigate the matter. They had a fairly extensive conversation about this. The president mentioned he wanted to enlist the attorney general. What has the attorney general said about the fact the president mentioned him in the phone call. A rather extraordinary set of events took place after the Inspector General got word of the whistleblower complaint. He referred it to