This may take three weeks. Whats happening . And schiff has sent a tow truck to drag your as to the House Intelligence Committee. This conversation never happened. cheers and applause announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight quid pro quo. Plus stephen welcomes senator Bernie Sanders and musical guest Brittany Howard, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its stephen colus laying stephen whoo hello cheers and applause beautiful. Beautiful. My friends, thank you for being here. piano riff welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It has been a hell of a week. cheers and applause really fast, things are happening. To paraphrase our president , the news has been moving on us like a bitch. laughter a lot of people are celebrating because donald trump is in serious trouble, but trump has shown over and over again that when hes cornered, hell fight like that rabid weasel on his head. laughter p
How did you get that so wrong . I was intocks dated. Stephen but sunday, when you told that story to billy bush, it was hours after the incident. I was still intoxicated. Stephen okay. But then on wednesday, you told matt lauer again you were robbed. That was another three days later. I was very intocks dated. Stephen ryan, are you intoxicated right now . laughter any reaction at all . Let me ask you this, ryan, do you know what a gun is . I cant answer that. Stephen is this a gun to you . I dont know at all. Stephen now, there is talk about banning you from swimming over this. Lets say youre given a second chance. Describe for me, describe for the audience the ryan lochte we can expect to see at the olympics in tokyo in 2020. Intockintoxicated. Stephen a its the late show with Stephen Colbert, amy schumer, Omari Hardwick, Michaela Watkins, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, the late show in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs
Read. Also, he can write. He wrote a book. Which im pretty sure that he wrotewrote while he was supposo be working for me. laughter obviously he cant read or write so well. Its called no lands man. I mean he completely bleep the title. The phrase is nomansland. But he wrote no lands man which oh. I think hes clever. You should get it. Here it is, your moment of zen. Dallas is in london for the big game against jacksonville. Unfortunately, they used a bad social media hashtag. Hashtag cowboytioning sponsorey Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org stephen tonight, a medical breakthrough in south america. Have soccer players regained the use of their hands . Then, republicans are address Climate Change by burning the midnight oil. And my guest, Science Writer Steven Johnson has a new book and tv series called how we got to now. Ill talk to him when i get to then. laughter the upcoming star wars movie is titled the force awakens. It fell asleep during the
cheers and applause steve stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen steep every Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, here popes thank you. cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, forecasts. Thanks for being here. Theres a lot to cover. Nation, if you watch this show and i hope you do you know that no one in this country is tougher on crime than yours truly. I say lock them up and throw away the key. Also, clearly, tough on keys. laughter so im happy to report that this week, a dangerous fugitive has been brought to justice. The 90yearold man busted for feeding the homeless. Arnold abbott is his name. He faces possible jail time and 500 fine for preparing meals for the need nea church kitchen. A nude ordnance in ft. Lauderdale outlaws groups from sharing food with the hungry. Stephen busted for feeding the homeless in public audience booing. Stephen oh, yeah, booo im angry at him, too. I say if the homeless want to eat they should do it in the priva
cheers and applause steve stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen steep every Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, here popes thank you. cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, forecasts. Thanks for being here. Theres a lot to cover. Nation, if you watch this show and i hope you do you know that no one in this country is tougher on crime than yours truly. I say lock them up and throw away the key. Also, clearly, tough on keys. laughter so im happy to report that this week, a dangerous fugitive has been brought to justice. The 90yearold man busted for feeding the homeless. Arnold abbott is his name. He faces possible jail time and 500 fine for preparing meals for the need nea church kitchen. A nude ordnance in ft. Lauderdale outlaws groups from sharing food with the hungry. Stephen busted for feeding the homeless in public audience booing. Stephen oh, yeah, booo im angry at him, too. I say if the homeless want to eat they should do it in the priva