Evidence that prehistoric humans [ laughter ] consumed Dairy Products judging by the cave drawings [ laughter ] the third democratic primary debate is tomorrow night t wais. And finally, kfc is coming out with a new video game called i love you, Colonel Sanders a [ laughter ] Finger Lickin good dating Boris Johnson illegally simulator [ audience oohs [ laughter ] where players go to Culinary School with Colonel Sanders and try to date him. Even worse mcdonalds is coming out with Ronald Mcdonald down to clown. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause she is a global superstar, whos starring in the fantastic new film hustlers out this weekend. Jennifer lopez is back on the show, everyone [ cheers and applause he is a fabulous actor you can see in foxs new series prodigal son. Michael sheen joins us tonight [ cheers and applause and we have Grammy Nominated pop star mika performing as well so its a wonderful night. [ cheers and applause
President trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. And said that people will be shocked that the numbers are many, many times what you think. Okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess Meghan Markle attended the u. S. Open this weekend to support her friend serena williams. Meanwhile, the queen went to the jets game. [ laughter ] a man on a mission to visit every starbucks in the world, last week visited his 15,000th location in peru and what do you know, they finally spelled his name right [ laughter and applause a 73yearold woman in india is now believed to be the oldest person to ever give birth after having twins this weekend via csection. The woman is doing fine, but shes definitely going to wait a few years before trying for more kids [ laughter ] u. S. News and world report has released its annual ranking of americas best universities with princeton coming in first. And when they heard the ne
Trees. [ laughter ] thats right President Trump has fired National Security adviser john bolton and you have to appreciate the irony of john bolton being taken out by a preemptive strike. [ light laughter ] so National Security adviser john bolton is out no word yet on what he plans to do next. Oh, man, the patriots . [ laughter ] President Trump and Vice President mike pence held a rally in North Carolina last night ahead of the states special Congressional Election though do you really need pence to pump up a crowd when you already have trump having trump and pence at a rally is like having the rock and Malcolm Gladwell help you move i think the rock can handle it at a Campaign Rally in North Carolina, yesterday, President Trump said the democrats are, quote, not big believers in religion. Before adding, unlike me, who loves whats his name you know, the boy who was born on christmas, in a trash can or whatever [ laughter and applause what was it . You know who im talking about [ chee
Discuss a peace agreement. And if youre wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, i dont know, ill believe it when i hear it from the taliban. [ laughter ] the Washington Post has published a new article calling former Vice President joe biden and senator Elizabeth Warren frenemies. Even crazier, they referred to john delaney and Michael Bennett as candidates. [ laughter ] President Trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. And said that people will be shocked that the numbers are many, many times what you think. Okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess Meghan Markle attended the u. S. Open this weekend to support her friend serena williams. Meanwhile, the queen went to the jets game. [ laughter ] a man on a mission to visit every starbucks in the world, last week visited his 15,000th location in peru what do you know, they finally spelled his name right [ laughter ] a 73yearold wom
He could find someone more dangerous than john bolton [ light laughter ] President Trump announced today that he will consider banning the sale of all nontobacco flavored vaping products, which is a shame, because vaping was the only way most American Kids would ever find out what fruit tastes like that [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats a peach . [ laughter ] the third democratic primary debate is tomorrow night and im going to be gaffe free this time, said joe biden, naked from the waist down. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause a court in scotland ruled today that british Prime Minister Boris Johnson illegally suspended parliament in an effort to push through his brexit plan and may have deliberately misled Queen Elizabeth to get her to sign off on the move. Said the queen, release the hounds. [ laughter and applause a Six Flags Theme Park in maryland has announced a new promotion in which visitors spend 30 hours inside a coffin to win a pair of season passes and if billy asks, thats wh