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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Jimmy oh, hi todays friday thats usually when i meditate a little bit and kind of clear my head over this long, stressful week its also kind of great to embrace the quiet and embrace yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy all new tonight show, at home edition starts now. [ laughter ] you have lost youre upside down youre upside down jimmy hi, everybody. What a long week its kind of been but thank you so much for tuning in and watching our show and giving to all these great charities. A couple people have asked if i am giving to these charities as well and, yes, my family is donating to every charity that weve mentioned so far during these shows. And thank you so much. Every amount counts. So i really appreciate that. And, man, its been a really interesting week day 15, is it . Day 15, and i just want to say first off, hoda, i feel you, buddy. And everyones just showing their creative ways of dealing with this and being so kind to each other out there and i want to say thank you for that i miss

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Lupita Nyongo dane cook, jay sinatraa won and matthew super delisi musical guest, the Avett Brothers and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1135 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much, thats a hot crowd welcome, everybody, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause you made it. Thank you for being here what a show we have for you tonight. Lupita nyongo is here [ cheers and applause dane cook is here. [ cheers and applause jay won and Matthew Delisi are here [ cheers and applause and the Avett Brothers are here [ cheers and applause and im sorry, but after reading that, were already out of time. Good night, everyone [ light laughter ] lets get to some news here, guys today a federal judge ordered President Trump to turn over eight years of his tax returns im not saying its bad, but right now trumps accountant is climbing over his border wall into mexico

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Sound check. [ light laughter ] check, one, two check, one, two. I invented jet skis. Check, one, two. [ light laughter ] dung former Trump Campaign manager, cory lewandowskis appearance before congress today, one representative called lewandowski, quote, some kind of forrest gump relating to corruption, due to his appearance in numerous scandals. Hey, if the haircut fits [ light laughter ] President Trump watched his former Campaign Manager cory lewandowskis congressional testimony today from aboard air force one. And when youre trying to prove youre not a criminal, it doesnt help that your boss is watching from the getaway car. [ laughter ] dont land yet. I want to see how this goes. [ light laughter ] during an event in South Carolina, yesterday, republican president ial challenger mark sanford held a mock debate against a cardboard cutout of President Trump. [ light laughter ] you could tell the cutout wasnt the real trump, because it made some good points [ laughter ] according [

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

[ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy hello, everybody, welcome. I was waiting for this steve yeah jimmy thank you very much. Please have a seat, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here, you made it thats very nice [ cheers and applause well you guys, its currently comiccon in new york city [ cheers and applause [ cheers ] so if you see 13 guys in the subway dressed as spiderman i guess its that . [ light laughter ] yeah, its almost the weekend. And if you think you need a break, imagine how trumps iphone feels [ light laughter ] this is very exciting. Joaquin phoenix is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause and his new film, joker is out today. We see the origins of how a man went completely insane i guess itll started when he made a phone call to ukraine and asked for help thats what i [ light laughter ] no spoilers. I saw that President Trump is thinking about starting his own news network to get a real voice out there

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Thanks so much thank you. Please, please, have a seat. [ cheers and applause i love you i love you i appreciate it. Thank you very much. Sit down, relax. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Youre here and you made it. Im happy. [ cheers and applause you guys, my guest tonight is one of the alltime greats Sylvester Stallone is here [ cheers and applause backstage i asked him, can i get you something to drink water, soda . He was like, raw eggs. Steve really jimmy yeah [ laughter ] Sylvester Stallone is here i knew hed arrived in the billing when all 12 Security Guards downstairs were sprawled out on the floor unconscious [ laughter ] but it is great that hes here, cause i love having guests on the show that have the same workout routine as me. [ laughter ] stallone stars in the new movie rambo last blood. Yeah and this is strange. Hes also starring in the new Downton Abbey movie. Isnt that wild . [ laughter ] thats right rambo last blood

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