Steve from 30 Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests America Ferrera, david dobrik world series mvp corey seager, musical guest, brothers osbourne and featuring the legendary roots crew and now heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy hello. Thank you very much. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Welcome, welcome to the the tonight show everybody. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, the election is five days away and President Trump is busy on the campaign trail. At one of his rallies, he tried to describe what would happen if joe biden wins. Listen to this if you vote for biden, it means no kids in school, no graduations, no weddings, no thanksgiving, no christmas and no fourth of july together other than that, you have a wonderful life [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, wonderful life merry christmas, closed down movie theaters [ laughter ] merry christmas, boarded up s
Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight jimmy and his guests gwen stefani swizz beatz and timbaland. Musical guests bebe rexha featuring doja cat and the legendary roots crew and now here is your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy all right. Oh, yeah hey thank you so much. Thank you for tuning in to the tonight show. I appreciate that applause even if its just from your home if youre watching from home and applauding from your bedrooms i really appreciate that [ laughter ] whoo [ cheers ] jimmy hey. It makes me feel it makes me feel at home because i usually get a lot of applause no, wait [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. All right. That was a its a bedroom joke but, whatever. Hey, look. [ laughter ] i used to get a lot of boos if you know what im talking about. [ laughter ] not anymore. Not anymore. I get a lot of applause in the bedroom. [ laughter ] starts off with a little bit of booze. [ laught
They spend their days wrangling all our crazy kids when they go out they should get free bottomless win teachers deserve a monthslong spaday hang cucumbers on their eyes cause if you ask the why the spas using veggie theyll explain its becaus of the enzymes teachers should have a prom for teachers so they can dress in fancy clothes the students have t chaperon ms. Weaver mr. Jones no grinding teachers should mak a billion dollar and when its time for art and crafts they should get swarmed by paparazzi and demand selfies and autographs teachers shouldnt have to pay their taxes they should ge cheered around the clock at the bank the should throw money at the and at chipotle they should always get free guac teachers should make a billion dollars yes they should teachers should make a billion dollar teachers should make a billion dollars teachers should make a billion dollar twice a week steve tonight join jimmy and guests Ryan Reynolds, karlie kloss musical guest ezra koenig, and the lege
And its just kind of kismet in jimmy all right. How, you know, the universe worked that way where so many [ gibberish [ laughter ] of the ones who we chose after jimmy all right, now you want to do one our titan games combine, we have a physical and yes jimmy go psychological combine that they go through like the nfl. Da, da, d frannie, stop i dont like that one. Da, da, d frannie, stop [ laughter ] jimmy i know, its great but, you guys, we have been quarantined how long now i need a haircut and once we chose them, they wound up being nurses, and teachers, and veterans, and doctors and lawyers. I need haircut i am going to get one this weekend. I mean, these front line frannie, stop workers, and they are the best [ laughter ] athletes on the planet we have ufc champions, olympic gold medalists, super bowl allpro, super bowl champions. Jimmy up with these like, jimmy all right, lets other kind of normal americans start the show lets start the show crickets lets start the show okay. Thes
[ laughter ] yeah [ cheers and applause thank you, wiping down doorknobs, for making me a group of sheep in northern realize for making me ireland recently crashed through realize that before i cleaned the window of a local bank and you, a total sorry. Wandered around the office thank you, wiping down when asked how many sheep were doorknobs, for making me realize that before this, i in there, the Bank Employees cleaned you a total of zero times. Fell asleep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, selfquarantine, for teaching me things i didnt [ cheers and applause know about myself, like how im unable to resist the urge to eat 12 cans of peaches thank you, cats on demand, and finally, a woman in North Carolina recently celebrated her 100th birthday by for now being on demand. Having herself arrested to in these crazy times, finally fulfill a lifelong dream a dose of sanity [ laughter ] [ cheers ] said police said the police, finally, thank you to all the tt maam, we would have done it w