Times a year to check out the smoke alarm in the greenroom. Also, jim gaffigan and dave salmoni is here. He brought a menagerie of creatures, including a striped skunk. I think its a skunk, eith that, or im smelling snoops dressing room. He also brought what is called a alligator turtle. I googled it. It should be fighting mothra in japan. Theres dave right there. Hey, dave, whats this animal . This is a fennec fox whose name is bob. Jimmy bob the fox. Does he know how many Instagram Likes he could get . Anything cute like this, he gets lots of likes. Jimmy thats dave salmoni. You know, President Trump took a field trip to bask in the glow of workers at a petrochemicals plant. He was there to talk energy. And of course immediately steered the conversation from energy to himself. And we make a lot of jokes about this president , but its important to remember just how much hes sacrificed for the good of us. This thing is costing me a fortune being president. Somebody said oh, he might ha
Multiple Sexual Assault charges in a 1992 party at maralago. Trump doesnt care about the video because it doesnt prove anything, and epstein doesnt care about it because its 26 years old. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ light laughter ] according to a new poll, republican support for President Trump has increased following his racist remarks about minority congresswomen how is that possible were there actually republicans out there going, i dont know, he seems racist, but [ laughter ] i need more proof. [ laughter ] new York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed legislation yesterday raising the smoking age to 21. But luckily for teenage smokers, they already look 30 [ laughter ] an Australian Fisherman recently discovered a 50yearold message in a bottle that was written by an english boy traveling on a cruise ship. And im guessing the trip wasnt his idea [ laughter ] today was National Tattoo day, and you know what that means probably not what you think. [ laughter ] a florida man recently arreste
But only i can really package tegridy. I got more money now cause of tegridy. Thats cause i figured out how to get tegridy to everyone. And thats now everyone is in this state of tegridy thats impenetrable. Am i making sense . [ thinking ] no the point is, nobodys coming to work for you. So you can take your whole plan and fulfill it somewhere else [ cheering ] [ thinking ] damn you, tegridy ice cold beer, downhome days Country Music and bike parades we got tegridy all around round round thats life livin in our colorado town [ babies crying ] i guess they are offensive. We dont need nothin from big corporations we dont need progress or fancy educations maybe our tegridy keeps us down down down but thats life livin in our colorado town hey, mom. Hi, dad. Sure are, butters now, we gotta learn to live without boxes every day we might wake up tomorrow and wonder why they went away guess you might call us a bunch of white trash Hicks Hicks Hicks but at least we aint suckin no bezosian dicks
Bella, celeste, if youre out there, come back. Somebody has her, please bring her back. Did he sound worried . No, he is didnt give a flying flip. I think you killed those girls. I love those girls. They were at the house when i left. They were there. They werent there. They didnt leave. They vanished. The question now is where are they . It pointed to where he your daughter and your granddaughters. There niece way this happened to them. Not them. The why . M meet 34yearold Shanann Watts. Hey, guys. Were here from the boat today. Reporter a social media maven and master of the digital stage. I am so excited, i am thriving with you. I am confident, i am determined, and i am successful. She was fun, full of life. She did so many things. She had her hand in everything. She was amazing. Love you guys. Have a great day. Reporter just about every waking moment of shananns life streams live over facebook. Just enjoy your life and living it and have a blast. Reporter shananns views on life im
On on discovery channel. And i tell you, theres nothing i like better than plopping down on the couch watching a show about great whites and digging into a big bowl of chum. [ laughter ] chum is a weird word. Chum either means good friend or bucket of fish parts. [ laughter ] of course the most terrifying shark of all is the dreaded baby shark. Not only are your kids singing about them all day, soon they will be eating them too. Kelloggs this weekend gave us a sneak peek at their newest product, baby shark cereal. Its a real thing. If you look at what they show on the box, they appear to be froot loops. Nothing sharky about them. I think the sharks are behind this cereal. I think the sharks are trying to fatten our kids up so they swim slower. [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh, thank you. Other animal news, there is a squirrel on the loose in santa cruz. A squirrel had to be evicted from its santa cruz home after it attacked its neighbors. When the squirrel was a baby a family nursed her ba