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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

It was a day of recordsetting domination on the world stage for the us women. The defending champions posting the tournaments largest margin of victory ever, shutting out thailand 13 to nothing. Wow 13 to nothing. [cheers and applause] thats not a soccer score. America basically won by a touchdown, a field goal, and a threepointer combined. Like, they were dominating so hard, this was their goalie during the game. And its crazy cause if you ever watch soccer in the world, youre like, this is madness. Americans are like, this is how soccer should be i do feel a little bad though, all right, because this is the worst thing to ever happen to a thai soccer team, and yes, im including the one that got stuck in the cave. Yeah, cause at least the cave wasnt celebrating in front of them. You got all stuck in me so this was a historic win for the Us Womens Soccer Team, but some people say it mightve been a little too much winning. Critic say the team showed poor sportsmanship by continuing to s

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

But only i can really package tegridy. I got more money now cause of tegridy. Thats cause i figured out how to get tegridy to everyone. And thats now everyone is in this state of tegridy thats impenetrable. Am i making sense . [ thinking ] no the point is, nobodys coming to work for you. So you can take your whole plan and fulfill it somewhere else [ cheering ] [ thinking ] damn you, tegridy ice cold beer, downhome days Country Music and bike parades we got tegridy all around round round thats life livin in our colorado town [ babies crying ] i guess they are offensive. We dont need nothin from big corporations we dont need progress or fancy educations maybe our tegridy keeps us down down down but thats life livin in our colorado town hey, mom. Hi, dad. Sure are, butters now, we gotta learn to live without boxes every day we might wake up tomorrow and wonder why they went away guess you might call us a bunch of white trash Hicks Hicks Hicks but at least we aint suckin no bezosian dicks

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