Youve been running for reelection since your second day in office. [ laughter ] you talk about 2020 gure than a who just got lasik [ laughter ] president ial hopeful, senator Bernie Sanders today praised video Game Industry workers for taking steps to unionize but criticizing them for continuing to underpay immigrant labor to do their plumbing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause after President Trump announced on twitter last night that immigration officials would begin mass arrests and deportations of pele in the United States illegally, Administration Officials said ey there not aware trump would discuss the plan publicly. Oh, you werent aware . Have you not met him [ laughter ] thats like going to see billy joel and getting upset that he played piano man. [ lahter ] what i had nobody told me. [ cheers and applause according to a new poll, more than 60 of americans believe that facebook has too much wer. Said people who took the poll, what . I didnt take that poll. [ laughter ] a man
Poolweek to protest an incident in which the pool manager asked a woman to cover herself or leave the pool while breastfeeding her child and while management was upset, the mothers were really pumped a california man has posted a video that appears to show a driver asleep in his tesla while driving on t freeway wow, i wonder how he fell asleep did he talk about owning a tesla . [ laughter and applause uhhuh. Uhhuh, wow. Wow. W, wohat is really cool [ laughter ] really happy for you. And finally, a florida man was arrested yesterday afterin allegedly dancaround naked at a mcdonalds. Fortunately the man was quickly apprehended and transported to an appropriate facility. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonigus [ cheers and appla we one of my favorite comedians in his new movie being frank is in theaters this friday. Jim y. Ffigan is back, everybod [ cheers and applause she stars in the new netflixre show, now sting, dead to me. Its fantastic Linda Carde
Anleave the room, after mu coughed while he was speaking. Which is weird, but at least it oking unfiltered pall malls. [ laughter ] President Trump announced plans this week to help people who leave prison find jobs as opposed to his Current Program where he gives people jobs and then they go to prison. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause the Supreme Court is expected to hand down rulings on up to 24 cases in the coming days before the summer break. Also getting 24 cases before summer break, brett kavanaugh. [ laught and applause [ audience oohs the dnc has announced the lineup for next weeks president ialde primary te with elizabeth warren, cory booker, amy klobuchar, beto orourke and bill de blasio facing off against all of your friends dads [ laughter ] [ applause ] hi president ial hopeful Pete Buttigieg said in a new interview that he is almost acertain that america haseady had president s who were gay. And im not saying hes right, but when he said it, the president ial portrait of
Adding, honestly, i thoinht he was already ail. [ laughter ] at a campaign rall last night, President Trump predicted that news outlets will be out of business once he leaves office. Why, are you going to run them [ laughter ] secretary oftate mike pompeo has canceled a trip to greenland to return to washington to deal with tensions with iran. Iran i didnt even know we were in tensions with iran all i knew was we were in the middle of a constitutiwaal crisis, a trade with china is wreaking havoc on the stock market, north korea is launching missiles and all cable news is talking about is the freakin royal baby [ laughter ] iran [ cheers and applause get in line. Nc pope francis has ann new rules designed to change how the Catholic Church deals with abuse accusaons. And not 2,000 years too soon [ laughter ] [ applause ] former Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort was disbarred in washington, d. C. , today. Anwhile dis barr somehow still gets to be a lawyer. [ laughter and applause whee