Did everybody look a porn star back then . [ laughter ] or did porn stars look like everyone . Im not sure. But fathers day of course is the day on which we punish dad for having sex with our mothers by forcing him to talk on the phone. [ laughter ] it was an especially special fathers day because we heard from some folks we havent heard from in quite a while, including bill cosby, who took time to tweet hey hey hey, its americas dad. I dont sleep. But to all he dads its an honor to be called a father. So lets make today a renewed oath to fulfilling our purpose, strengthening our families and communities. Well, thanks, dr. Huxtable. What an uplifting message from jail. [ laughter ] somebodys now slipping roofies into his own drinks. By the way, i dont think hey hey hey works anymore. As a general rule, your first Public Statement after going to prison for Sexual Assault shouldnt start with hey hey hey. [ laughter ] if you hear the words hey hey hey cover your drinks. Okay . And by the
President of poland, said trump, when do i get to meet the president of north poland . [ laughter ] President Trump joked this afternoon that officials should consider naming a new nato military base in poland fort trump. Oh, i always assumed that this was fort trump [ laughter ] reporting for duty, colonel. [ cheers and applause president ial hopeful, senator Bernie Sanders gave a speech today defending democratic socialism, and called it the Unfinished Business of Franklin Delano roosevelt. Added sanders, who by the way, i used to babysit. [ laughter and applause singers katy perry and taylor swift announced on social media last night that they have ended their years long feud by posting a picture of a plate of cookies with the words peace at last written in icing then one of them ate last cookie and the feud started all over again. [ laughter and applause according to new research, americans play an average of two to five smart phone games per month. Games like, will she text me bac
Poolweek to protest an incident in which the pool manager asked a woman to cover herself or leave the pool while breastfeeding her child and while management was upset, the mothers were really pumped a california man has posted a video that appears to show a driver asleep in his tesla while driving on t freeway wow, i wonder how he fell asleep did he talk about owning a tesla . [ laughter and applause uhhuh. Uhhuh, wow. Wow. W, wohat is really cool [ laughter ] really happy for you. And finally, a florida man was arrested yesterday afterin allegedly dancaround naked at a mcdonalds. Fortunately the man was quickly apprehended and transported to an appropriate facility. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonigus [ cheers and appla we one of my favorite comedians in his new movie being frank is in theaters this friday. Jim y. Ffigan is back, everybod [ cheers and applause she stars in the new netflixre show, now sting, dead to me. Its fantastic Linda Carde