This way is illegal. I want to express my thanks to the dozens of oh, and i got your curly fries. Want me to feed them to you pelican style . Yes, sir. crunch announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, shot heard around the world. Plus, stephen welcomes elmo. Kumail nanjiani. And musical guest andra day. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen we set over here . All right. Do it. Welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Just when you think things cant get any weirder, trump cranks it up to 11 and then swallows the knob. Today, the president held a white house meeting with leaders in the restaurant industry. as trump before we begin, fellas, how about some apps for the whole table, okay . Honey, lets get some jalapeno poppers. Nachos . Nachos, clam strips, and calamari, thanks. Oooh, garlic knots dammit. The topic was supposed to be reopening the economy, but then trump started answering questions and it was t
Country lawyer, but since when is enticing a Foreign Government to mess with our election a catty wampus booger boo . I rest my case and the angry tubas. Is it your position that President Trump should not be impeached, even if all the evidence and arguments laid out by the house are accepted as fact . Ill answer the question. You want answers . I think im entitled. You want answers . I want the truth you cant handle the truth i rest my case. So sign up today for darius lighthouses acting school of legal acting. And you can trust me, because im not only the theaters director. Ive also played a pivotal character on law and order. He was killed right here. Keys, briefcase, just got home from work. laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert dems the break week 2020 candidates, gone but not forgotten. Except the ones we forgot. Tonight obtuse of power. Plus, stephen welcomes jim gaffigan and tom steyer. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed
O keeps moving games. Her desantis is the leader of the republican party. 2020 didnt work out. We have to look forward. We have a very important announcement to make tonight. I want you to know that im running away forever, and im never going to come back. Maybe i will have to leave the country . I will be immediately be forgotten. Nobody will come to my funeral. I think i will tell my son eric that i have been abducted by space force. Ive always been a nogood, rotten, disgusting embarrassment to our great country. So in conclusion, byebye. Bing bong. And god bless the united shtates. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Lake news. First, stephen welcomes jon stewart and musical guest lcd soundsystem featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen hey, everybody too good good to see you. Happy tuesday. Happy, happy, happy. Thank you very much thank yo
Also called nfts. In fact, a bored ape nft purchased by Justin Bieber in january for 1. 3 million is now worth only 69,000. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. First, stephen welcomes Michelle Williams the winners of pickled. Dierks bentley, superstar, and phil keoghan, and musical guest Dierks Bentley. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen have a lovely. Have a lovely. Have a lovely. Have a lovely. There is. Thank you, mark. Whoo get some you want some, come get some bang, boom whats up . You got a problem . Whats up, bro . Thanks, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Welcome. Welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheers and applause] well, folks, folks, the suspense has finally broken. Weve been waiting for nine days to learn who would control the house of representatives. Well, you know what they say. Good thi