Also called nfts. In fact, a bored ape nft purchased by Justin Bieber in january for 1. 3 million is now worth only 69,000. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. First, stephen welcomes Michelle Williams the winners of pickled. Dierks bentley, superstar, and phil keoghan, and musical guest Dierks Bentley. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen have a lovely. Have a lovely. Have a lovely. Have a lovely. There is. Thank you, mark. Whoo get some you want some, come get some bang, boom whats up . You got a problem . Whats up, bro . Thanks, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Welcome. Welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheers and applause] well, folks, folks, the suspense has finally broken. Weve been waiting for nine days to learn who would control the house of representatives. Well, you know what they say. Good things come to those who wait. Not this time, because republicans have won control of the house of representatives. [booing] i know. I know, its disappointing. Though it is nice to see the republicans take the house without any zipties. [applause] votes are still its refreshing is what it is. Votes are still being counted in some swing districts, so we dont have the final tally. But republicans are likely to control a slimmer majority than many expected. So its bad but not as bad as you feared. Its the political equivalent of papa johns. This means the new speaker of the house will likely be california congressman Kevin Mccarthy. [booing] seen here realizing that wasnt a raisin he just ate. With an incredibly thin majority, many are predicting a chaotic term for a weak speaker, but kevin thinks any majority gives you the same amount of power, as he explained. The one thing i know in washington, they dont hand the gavels out in small, medium, and largesize. Stephen here with a rebuttal, former speaker john boehner, holding his actual gavel, which was so large he could summon it like mjolnir. A lot of folks think mccarthy is in for a bit of a rough ride, with one republican noting, its like herding cats trying to get everybody together, and another pointed out, you cant lose anybody. Any one person becomes kind of an island to themselves. That island . Turds and cuckoos. Thank you. Thank you, joseph. That was a good one. Stephen thank you very much. What an honor. Point is, mccarthy has a horrible job where horrible people have the power to make him do horrible things. One person who comes prehorribled is georgia congresswoman and. [booing] and top dumb, Marjorie Taylor greene. Greene threw her support behind Kevin Mccarthy for speaker. In exchange she says, hes going to give me a lot of power and a lot of leeway. And predicts shell be on committees investigating traitors and criminals. I cant wait to see the investigations she launches. Whats Hunter Bidens wifi password . Who distributed spoons to the Gazpacho Police . Where does the water in my sponge go at night . Is it siphoned off to a secret jewish space loofa . This was also. I demand answers i cant do it. I cant do an impression. There is no way. It was also a big day for outgoing House Speaker nancy pelosi, seen here waiting for tony stark to land so she can tell him about the avengers initiative. With republicans winning the house, pelosi took to the floor to announce her plans for the future. My colleagues, i stand before you as speaker of the house, as a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a devout catholic, a proud democrat and a patriotic american. Stephen im also proficient with word, excel, and outlook. Plus i can drive stick, and i speak conversational spanish. Hola. I believe i will be a perfect member of your team. She then got a subtle dig in at a political opponent. See if you can spot it. I have enjoyed working with with three president s. Achieving historic investments in clean energy with president george bush. [applause] transforming Health Care Reform with president barack obama. [applause] and forging the future, from infrastructure to health care to Climate Action with president joe biden. [applause] stephen oooh. She left out a president. What was his name again, nancy . The poopoo. Stephen thank you. Thank you. I dont like saying his name. Then, after two decades in leadership, the first female speaker of the house made her big announcement. With great confidence in our caucus, i will not seek reelection to democratic leadership in the next congress. Stephen there it is. Nancy pelosi, after years of service, is leaving the democratic leadership, i assume to be the next host of the daily show. But turns out, this doesnt mean pelosis resigning from congress. She plans to take an emeritus role that would allow her to offer counsel to her colleagues. Yes, shell remain a mentor to the younglings. Shes obi wan pelosi. [cheers and applause] sure, sure. But thats not the only reason she decided to remain. Reportedly, President Biden personally asked her to stay, telling her, i hope you stick. Come on, nance. Why would ya leave . Youre in the prime of your 80s i call that peepop puberty started getting hair in all new places earlobe, knuckle, tip of my nose. Come on. Senior skip day. Get in the corvette. Were headed to the woods to smoke boniva come on dont fear the reaper, jack thank you. Thank you. I just wanted to hear that song. And is this is this happening . Im being told that its time for tonights no context Herschel Walker. What i am about to show you is an actual clip from a speech Herschel Walker gave yesterday about doesnt matter what it was about. Just please enjoy this clip, which once again i assure you, is 100 real and unaltered in any way. Jim . I dont know if you knew, but vampires are cool people, are they not . But im gonna tell you something that i found out. A werewolf can kill a vampire. Did you know that . I never knew that, so i dont want to be a vampire anymore. I want to be a werewolf. Stephen a clarion call that is sure to galvanize the electorate. Vote walker for werewolf and this has been tonights no context Herschel Walker. Unfortunately, were still hearing from private citizen kari lake, seen here left hangin by the voters of arizona. Even though, even though her race was called on monday, lake has dug in on claims of voter fraud. And last night, to make the point that she was never going to concede, lake dropped this new ad. Well,l, i wont b back down no, i i wont bacack down stephen okay, thats not good. But you cant blame her iphone for putting together a memory called at the fascist rally. Now, heres the thing. Heres the thing. [applause] thank you. Fascists. Now, if youre a tom petty fan, youll recognize his song i wont back down. Also you can continue to be a tom petty fan because a spokesperson for tom pettys estate confirmed that lakes use of the song was [cheering]ved or endorsed. Exactly. Come on. You know youve crossed a line when tom pettys representatives tell you to please back down. Thats like lawyers for guns n roses telling you that you are no longer welcome in the jungle. So they didnt approve that song, but maybe they would approve a different tom petty song. We at the late show have a suggestion. Hey dont come around here no more ive given up stop stephen we got a great show for you tonight my guests are Michelle Williams and the winners of the worlds first celebrity pickleball tournament, pickled. But when we come back, meanwhile come on announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by progressive insurance. Round out your protection with life, phone, and pet health insurance. Easy for you and me but can be so difficult for a young homeowner tuturning intoto their parar. Are those all different lettuces . Uhuh, yes, sirir. Brown ricece, white riric, or quinonoa . [ groans s ] were gononna need a a m. Do you havave any foodod alle . Welell, my teeteth are sensititive to colold. Progressivive cant prprotecu from bececoming yourur pare, but wewe can protetet your h home and auauo when you b bundle withth. Ththatll be 19. 45. Ohoh, im justst paying for my o own salad. With scopepe squeez moututhwash concncentrate, jujust add watater, squeeze toto control t the streh of your momouthwash, and d find a zonone all yourur. Scscope squeezez. Thisis delectablble raramen noodlele recipe wiwill put an n end to youor drivivethrough h dinner ritit. Throrow that powowder in that tatasty comboo ofof delightfuful carrots, and the e rich touchch of b bok choy. Knororr taste cocombos. Itits not fasast food, but itits soooo g good. Sometitimes jonah h wrestles withth falling a asleep. S. So he takeses zzzquil. The worldds 1 sleepep aid d fofor a betterer night slele. So n now, he wakakes up feelining like himimself. The reigigning familily room middleweieight champipion. Bebetter d days start t wih zzzquiuil nights. [cheers and applause] stephen give it up for the band, everybody right there joe saylor and the late show band. [cheers and applause] joe. You know, joe. Please have a seat, everybody. Thank you so much. Joe, you know, im losing my voice a little bit because you know what ive been doing all night . Ive been screaming with excitement about all the action on cbs from 9 00 to 11 00. Obviously, were on after that. This is an 11 30 show. Everybody knows here. Its almost midnight right now for all of us right now. And were following pickled, which was the celebrity pickleball tournament that i hosted tonight. And tonight, we have the winners. Not only do we have we have the winners of that. We have Dierks Bentley, country superstar, and phil keoghan, host of the the amazing race, who won pickled. They won the celebrity tournament tonight. Congratulations to them. Real feather in their cap. Real feather in their cap. Joe something to be proud of. Stephen you do a lot in your career, but then you win a pickleball tournament . And you go, the rest of that stuff seems kind of small at that point. And also we have the lovely, the talented, the extraordinary gifted emmy winner Michelle Williams will be here tonight. Shes in the new shes in that new spielberg movie the fabelmans, about his life. Its about his childhood. Its not called the spielbergs. Its called the fabelmans. Joe yeah, thats weird. He couldnt get the rights to his own name. Stephen he didnt have the rights to his own name. Isnt that strange . Somebody else got the blue check on twitter. And he cant call his movie the spielbergs anymore. Its really sad. Folks, if you watch the show, you know i spend most of my time right over there, wandering the news tannery, handselecting the days most topical calf leather, shaping it to a bespoke last, then adding a barktanned sole with welted doublestitching to create the flawless Crockett Jones cap toe oxford that are my nightly monologue. But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, i wake up naked in someones yard in the cockpit of a cessna 150 that i assume ive stolen, tear strips from a tire swing, then cut the rope off a tetherball to lash them to my feet. And as the cops close in, i dart from under an overturned baby pool in the fugitive planejackers flipflops of news that are my segment. Meanwhile [cheers and applause] stephen this is like penicillin. This is tetracycline for the soul. Meanwhile, a tattoo removal studio has offered to remove kanye west tattoos for free, using the slogan yeezy come, yeezy go. And if you want to add insult to injury, theyll replace your ye tattoo with pete davidson. Meanwhile, the south american shamanistic psychedelic brew known as ayahuasca causes Mental Health problems that last months, a new study has found. Not to mention how long it takes for your sisters new boyfriend to shut up about it. We heard you, ryan. It was transformative. Youre now the captain of a spiritual spaceship whose fuel is primary colors. But no, i will not call you everest. Meanwhile. [applause] meanwhile, in order to undercut costcos price of 1. 50, sams club is cutting the price of its hot dog and soda from 1. 50 to 1. 38. Though i will remind you, there is still more nutritional value in just licking 138 pennies. [applause] meanwhile, scrabble the thinking mans bananagrams. This week, the creators of the game added 500 new words to the official scrabble dictionary, like zoodle and guac. Up till now, if you wanted to add guac to the board, you had to pay 2 bucks extra. [applause] thank you. You were right. You were right. Meanwhile, a man got a jump rope stuck in his bladder after shoving it into his penis. Let this be a lesson to you, kids. I know it sounds fun, but theres a downside to shoving a jump rope into your penis. The man was apparently experiencing some discomfort and was forced to seek medical help, complaining that he was suffering from a condition called dysuria. Or as its commonly known double dutch dong. [cheers and applause] meanwhile, stoned cows fed with hemp are making thclaced milk. Explains why theyve changed the slogan from got milk . To do you ever wonder if milk gets you . Well be right back with Michelle Williams. Boring. With over 40 delicious flavors, cirkul starts a party for your taste buds. No sugar, no calories, and no artificial flavors. Cirkul. Its your water, your way. Now with even more flavors. Available at walmart or drinkcirkul. Com. On y your periodod, sudddden gushes s happen. 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This ipad pro sold for less than 34. And this nintendo switch, sold for less than 20. I got this kitchenaid stand mixer for only 56. I got this bbq smoker for 26 bucks. And shipping is always free. Go to dealdash. Com right now and see how much you can save. My frequent heartburn had me taking a antacid after r antacid alall day log bubut with pririlosec otcc jujust one pilill a day blocks h heartburn for a full 24 hours. For one e and done heartbn relilief, prilososec otc. One pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. At cretors, for one e and done heartbn relilief, prilososec otc. We handcraft every batch of our delicious popcorn. Like our cretors cheese and caramel mix. Great on their own, even better together. Try cretors, handcrafted smallbatch popcorn. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an Emmy Awardwinning actress you know from brokeback mountain, my week with marilyn, and fosse verdon. She now stars in the new Steven Spielberg movie the fabelmans. Please welcome back to the late show, Michelle Williams. [cheers and applause] there you go. Nice to see you. Michelle what nice friends you have. Stephen i do. I have some lovely friends ive invited in just for this evening. Now, i havent seen you since before the pandemic. April 2019 for fosse verdon, which you won the emmy for. Congratulations for that. It was such a brilliant performance. Michelle thank you. Stephen such a wonderful show. Thank you so much for that. Michelle thank you. Thank you so much. Stephen you also have another project. Youve had two children, both during the pandemic. Michelle two kids in one pandemic. Stephen exactly. That is efficient. Good for you. Good for you. Is it how how are they doing . Everybody is good . Michelle yeah, everybody is good, happy, healthy. Ive got a twoyearold. Ive got my 17, my 2, and my six week. Stephen sixweekold. Thats extraordinary. So youre not sleeping at all right now. Michelle no, were not sleeping. We say the teen keeps us up late and the babies get us up early. So, were not sleeping but stephen anything new about number three for you . Michelle that theres no pictures of the baby. You know, its your third baby so youre not really, like, putting on the cute clothes and dressing up and having a photo shoot. Youre just. You know. Stephen getting it done. Michelle getting it done. Stephen our third, a boy, our third, when he was, i dont know, six or seven years old, he goes, id like to go to a zoo some day. And we said, oh, youve been to the zoo. And he goes, i have never been to a zoo. And we went, oh, damn, hes the third one. Youre like, oh, we did all that with the first two. Youre gonna be fine. Its animals, it smells bad, its kind of sad. What about babies during covid, though . Was that a help cause theres a nesting instinct anyway. Did it help to sort of have to be away from other people . Michelle yeah, its a great time to have a baby. I mean, one, it really livens up a quarantine. You drop a baby in, and nobody wants to come over. Nobody wants to see the baby. You dont have to feed people. You dont have to pretend to be able to carry on a conversation. You can just, like, stare at your baby. Stephen pandemic, semi, kind of, maybe totally over. Hard to tell, no one is talking to us about it any more. The third baby is the baby in quarantine . Michelle the baby is basically in quarantine. We still wear masks. I dont know if anybody else well, youre all masked. Stephen yes, its complicated. Michelle i should have brought the baby stephen no, if you need a little outfit, weve got you a little a little late show onesie right here. Michelle thank you very much. Stephen i hope its the right size. Michelle thank you very much. Stephen youve also got a new movie called the fabelmans, directed by Steven Spielberg. Thats one of the few great pleasures in life that you cant buy getting a call from Steven Spielberg saying, do you want to be in my movie . Michelle i still feel like im having an outofbody experience with it. Just, like, pinch me. Like, im in a movie with Steven Spielberg . No. But its true. Yeah. I guess i made a movie with Steven Spielberg. Stephen yeah. Thats what it says on the card right here. For those who arent familiar, what is the fabelmans about . Michelle its about his family. Its about his life. Its about his childhood. And im his mama. Stephen youre mitzi. Michelle yeah, im mitzi. Stephen youre mitzi. So, twoparter whats she like . And, i mean, i suppose this is based i mean, i dont know how close it is based on his mother, but to you, what is she like . And how do you prepare for that role . Michelle well, theres so much i mean, hes been shooting footage of his family since he was a kid, so theres so much beautiful documentation of his childhood. Stephen famously, has so many super 8 movies. Michelle so many super 8 movies, so many beautiful photos. And he had an extraordinary childhood. When you look at the photos, theyre so evocative and she was kind of a largerthanlife person, so she really just comes through in everything that you see, everything you listen to. She had this incredible laugh that was sort of like a kind of like my touchstone for the part, the thing i would just listen to sort of before every take, was just this guide track of her laughing over the years. Yeah. Stephen and she was an artist in her own right. She was an aspiring artist. Michelle yeah, she was a really accomplished pianist, and she put that down to raise four children, but she made their childhoods into a work of art. Like, her entire life was kind of a work of art, and she really passed that on to her kids. Stephen we have a clip here where mitzi is presenting to her son, sammy, in this case, a movie camera, you know. And in some ways, it feels like passing on, like, a benediction, to go, you know, make some art. Michelle she saw it in him. She saw it she saw it before anybody else did. And she its a true story, she gave him his first camera. Stephen jim. Samammy. Were gogoing to usese daddys cacamera to f film it. Only c crash the t train once,e, okay . Then aftfter we get t the film developeped, you canan watch itt crcrash over and o over till its n not so scarary anymorere. Anand your reaeal train wiwill r get brokeken. One momore thing, darling. Letts not tellll your faththe. It will l be our sececret movie, just youours and minine. Okay . . Okay. [applause] stephen did you if dont mind me asking, who was that person for you in your life who saw the talent in you and cultivated that and endorsed that for you . Michelle gosh, i think about this person a lot, actually. It was mary beth peil, who played grams on dawsons creek. Stephen oh, wow. Michelle yeah, she was, like, my onscreen grandma, but she was my reallife mama. Yeah. Yeah. Im happy to be able to say that. I think about her all the time, and like, every chance i get, its just so nice to remember her and to talk about her. Stephen we have to take a little bit of a break. But well be right back with more Michelle Williams, everybody. Stick around. Inez, let t me ask youou, yoyoure usingng head and shshoulders, r right . Onlyly when i sesee flakes. Then i s switch backck toto my regulalar shampooo yoyou should u use it everery , otherwise e the flakeses will c come back. Hes rigight, you knknow. Is thahat tiny troroy . The e ingredientnts in head anand shoulderers keep thehe microbess ththat cause f flakes at b b. Microbes, really . Theyre alalways on yourur scalp. L. Little rascsc. But good n news, theres s no itchineness, drdryness or f flakes downwn i loveve tiny troyoy. Hehes the besest. Makeke every wasash count little helelp, please. E. 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Just w what we neeeeded, ananother big g bank. Not so f fast. How manyny banks do o youw that reweward you fofor saving evevery month . . Hes got a a good poi. Did i i mention bmbmo has more f feefree atatms than the t two largestst usus banks comombined . Uh, bmo . O . Just bebeemo, actctually. Quick ququestion, wiwill all this stuffff fit in yoyour car . should i g get rid of f the . Bmo stephen hey, everybody were back with the star of the fabelmans, Michelle Williams. Michelle, im wondering what do you see in Steven Spielberg that is great in his directing . Like, what makes, i suppose, after working with him now, what makes Steven SpielbergSteven Spielberg . Michelle i think i mean, one answer could be his childhood. It was just it continues to be a place hes really attached to. It was because of how he was raised both of his parents, his mother and his father and his sort and his creative playmates, his sisters, his childhood continues to be this well, this, like, really generative place that hes still so tapped into and also brings that enthusiasm, that same sort of childlike wonder to set every single day. He is just. He feels like a kid at play. Stephen how engaged is he as a director . cause some people you know, some actors want a director who is more engaged and some people just want him to just, like let me. Im a professional. Let me do my thing. Whats he like you know, i heard somebody describe scorseses directing as, like, hes a problem solver. What is spielbergs problem solving on set . Is it discovery . Is it invention . How would you describe the way he works with an actor . Michelle i think my favorite thing you would always hear behind the monitor is, i have an idea so you know that hes seen something that sparked something new, something that he hadnt come he hadnt sort of preordained about the moment. And so its really exciting as an actor to think, what can i bring that might spark something in him . And then i get to hear that excited voice behind the monitor. Stephen youve said when youre performing and i hope im getting this correctly that when youre performing, that everything opens up. What do you mean . Like, your pores . What are you michelle no, did i say that . What does that mean . Stephen it says here, you said that when youre acting, everything opens up. What do you mean . Whats it like to be inside whats it like in the moment of performance for you . Or do you have any awareness of the moment of performance . Michelle the thing that i always think about, about jobs and my job is that its a completely safe space. There is no life or death. Youre totally protected between action and cut. Nothing bad can ever happen. You can have experiences, but th really yours. They belong to somebody else, and theyre being transmitted out for other people. So i think of it as actually just this incredibly safe space. Stephen well, if you hadnt been an actor i mean, there are other paths for you. What would you have been if you hadnt been after actor . Michelle i cant i dont ive been doing this since i was 12. Theres nothing else i can do. Stephen you had no other job . Youve had no other job . Youve never done another job . Michelle the last job i had was serving soft serve ice cream. But i dont think i can. Carry that into the future. Like, i dont think i can go back to that. Stephen how old are we talking here . Michelle like, 12. Stephen were you good at it . Were you talented . Michelle i liked to overserve. I liked to make a big cone. Stephen yeah. Michelle but thats what happens when you put a 12yearold at a machine, you know. Stephen yeah. She makes the dream cone. Michelle i made the dream cone. Stephen did that upset your boss that you were overserving . Michelle no, it upset the women that i would hand them to. These really, like, toppling, awkward things that were about to fall off. But i would have wanted one. Stephen sure. Well, im glad you became an actress. Thank you so much. Lovely to see you again. Michelle thanks. Very nice to see you. Stephen the fabelmans is in select theaters now and opens nationwide on wednesday. Michelle williams, everybody. Well be right back. The winners of tonights pickled i haveve moderate e to severere crohns disease. E. Now,w, theres skyrizi. I. Thingngs are lookoking up ive gogot symptom m relief conontrol of mymy crohns meanans everythihing to me. 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Gain s scent beadsds keep even n the stinkikiest sf smellingng fresh. Honey. Y. Honey. Y. Nynyquil s severe honeney. Powerfulul cold and d flu ref wiwith a dreamamy honey tata. Nyquil honey, the nighttime, sniffining, sneezing, couging, aching, fever, honeylicious, best sleep with a cold, medicine. Afteter cooking g a delicious chicken n cheddar broccocoli recipe,e, you willll want to d delete all yourur delivery y apps. Becacause nothining beats a perfrfect comboo of sweet tomatoes and smooth, silky zucchini. Knorr tataste combosos. Its not f fast food, but t its soooooo good. With scopepe squeez moututhwash concncentrate, jujust add watater, squeeze toto control t the streh of your momouthwash, and d find a zonone all yourur. Scscope squeezez. Stephen thank you, joseph welcome back, everybody ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. cause my next guests are the champions of the worlds first televised Celebrity Charity pickleball tournament, pickled, which premiered tonight on cbs. Please become your champions to the late show. The emmyaward winning host of the amazing race, phil keoghan and multiplatinum Country Music star Dierks Bentley [cheers and applause] [olympics theme] please. The champions. Gentlemen. Dierks the couch. This is nice. Stephen gentlemen, what an honor to have you both here. As the world all now know, you are the champions of this years inaugural episode of pickled. Thank you so much. Dierks it feels good. It feels real good. Stephen would you care to celebrate your win with a pickleback shot right here . Weve got whiskey and pickles. Dierks another first. Stephen here you go. And heres to you, gentlemen, volunteering to be in this celebrity pickleball tournament where we raised money for comic relief which helps children and families in crisis. Dierks well done, stephen. Well done. Stephen here we go. Mmm. Nicely done. Mmm. Phil can i have another pickle . Stephen sure, nothing like backing up your vodka with a gherkin. That is nice. Phil i never loved pickles before i played pickle. Im not even kidding. These are really good. Stephen see how were helping people . You are now the proud owners of the colbert cup. There you go. There you go. [cheering] phil stephen, i dont know if you know, but i let dierks take the trophy. Stephen oh, you did . Phil yeah. Hes got the trophy. Stephen its his for a year. Dierks well switch off. Phil oh, i get it for a year . Dierks a couple months and ill bring it to you. Stephen now, your team, when harry net rally, dierks, let me ask you this, what was your strategy going in . You guys dominated. What was your plan . Dierks our plan was just to win. This is show business, but its not called show friends its show business. We were there to take care of business. And we did. Stephen you did not make any friends. I can promise you that. Phil im going to say emma, who was definitely the most competitive out of everybody stephen emma watson, who hes talking about, who partnered with sugar ray leonard. Phil she came i met her in the makeup room. She was getting her game face on. Then there, she was trying to intimidate all of us. She told us that she had a coach for the last month. And then when she came out, that evil eye. We both got it. Dierks i still have nightmares about it. Phil it got to us. It got to us. Of all of things weve done we looked at each other and we were, like, were nervous, right . Dierks very. Phil cause normally, you can prepare, stephen. You can prepare for things. But this was like, im going to say we were unprepared. And we were certainly unprepared for her. Stephen i take exception to this. Because jimmie allen, fellow country star jimmie allen, outed you, dierks, because he said that you play pickleball on the road before every show. Dierks a couple of times. Stephen you set up a court. You set up a court. Dierks we set up courts in all sorts of weird places. I did play a tournament up in london, ontario. Our guitar player and i are the reigning champions of the 75 and older group. We kind of lie about our age. We got the win. Like i said, its all about winning. Whatever it takes, if you have to fake your age. Stephen keep it simple. Dierks were the 75 and older champions of london, ontario. Stephen phil, you host the amazing race, and of course tough as nails. Those are tough competition shows. What was it like to be on the other side of the lens and actually being the person having to put it out all on the line there . Phil you know, when you host a show where youre a musician, or you host your show, you do the preparation, and then all the nerves go. You do your thing. I was so nervous. And i was hoping that you werent going to be, but you were. Dierks i was really nervous. Phil i didnt know about staying out of the kitchen. I didnt know about any of the rules of pickle. I played tennis when i was a kid. But that was pretty much it. And we were really we were a nervous wreck going into it. Stephen the secret of pickleball, in my opinion, is the best player in the world is about twice as good as the worst player in the world. You can grade pickleball players dierks after day one, youre already at 90 . Stephen on a scale of one to two, thats how you rate pickleball players. You came in as a solid one and ended as a two. Dierks thats all it took. Phil i felt like an impostor, truth be told, i was kind of called in at the last minute stephen one of other players tested positive at the last moment. Phil someone more famous than me. I was 26 hours warning i think it was. And the executive at cbs and called me and said, i just noticed, phil, that your name is not on the list. Im like, really . And they were like, when i found out, i had to do something about it. And i said, all right, who got sick . And there was silence and then, what are you doing on friday . Stephen but youre the champion after not training at all, and emma watson is over there, mvp. Emma watson. Dierks emma watson like method acted her way through the whole thing. I dont think she played pickleball at all. She hired somebody. She took four weeks. She was scary. Phil she put me like, a little blood. Stephen youre saying emma watson drew blood on you . Phil when i went into the back wall dierks he got hurt, and she smiled and kind of laughed about it. She was happy. Stephen famously cruel person, emma watson. Phil it was a little hurtful, to be honest with you. cause i love her. Shes so good. Dierks thats the motivation we needed to take it to the next level. Stephen dierks, i heard your son recently won a championship of his own. Dierks he did. Stephen tell me about that. Lets be proud of our children. Dierks yeah, he plays travel hockey. Im a travel hockey dad. My wife travels a lot too. Hes nine. We were just out las vegas. Stephen what did he win . Dierks they won a big tournament out there. Speaking about motivation, im all about finding ways to motivate myself, motivate my family, and knoxs team was kind of getting off to a slow start, so me and some of the dads had a great idea that give them a little extra motivation. Told them if they won the championship, wed take them to hooters. And youre not going to believe it. They won. I mean, they didnt let a goal go in for the rest of the series. Stephen how old is he . Dierks hes nine. Stephen dad of the year. Thats about as old as a person should be and still enjoy going to hooters. [laughter] dierks well, you know, the wings. Its all about the wings. Stephen listen, people know you as a worldclass pickleball player mostly at this point. But you still do play Country Music. Youre going to perform for us tonight. Dierks just for you. Stephen you can share with the people what youre going to be doing . Dierks yeah, i got a brand new song out there. Its called gold. Its off a record coming out in february, i guess, and its all about pickleball, folks. Stephen dierks, congratulations. Phil, thanks so much for being here, man. There you go. The winners of the colbert cup. You can stream pickled on paramount and catch phil on the amazing race and tough as nails which premieres january 4th. Dierks bentley and phil keoghan, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by dierks. Wewe made it bmo has ararr. Hello . You sasaid it. Hehello to morore ways to savave money, grow your r wealth, growow your busisiness. Just w what we neeeeded, ananother big g bank. Not so f fast. How manyny banks do o youw that reweward you fofor saving evevery month . . Hes got a a good poi. Did i i mention bmbmo has more f feefree atatms than the t two largestst usus banks comombined . Uh, bmo . O . Just bebeemo, actctually. Quick ququestion, wiwill all this stuffff fit in yoyour car . should i g get rid of f the . Bmo stephen and now performing his latest single, gold, Dierks Bentley. It aint easy nobody said it would be you finally find that Greener Grass but youre still in the weeds aint it crazy, all the time that you spend drivin through the rainbow for the pot at the end i got some rust on my chevy but its ready to roll i got a rhinestone sky and a song in my soul it aint a smooth ride, life, its a winding road yeah, it might be gravel, but it feels like gold ive been climbin, tryin to get to the view im at the bottom but the skys still pretty damn blue they say heaven is somewhere on the other side but i aint waitin hell, im thinkin its a state of mind i got some rust on my chevy but its ready to roll i got a rhinestone sky and a song in my soul it aint a smooth ride, life, its a winding road yeah, it might be gravel, but it feels like gold yeah, it feels like gold yeah, it feels like gold got my baby sittin by me, shinin like a diamond only Silver Linings in the clouds and if it starts to rain, i dont worry bout a thing i pull my rosecolored raybans out i got some rust on my chevy but its ready to roll i got a rhinestone sky and a song in my soul it aint a smooth ride, life, its a winding road yeah, it might be gravel, but it feels like gold yeah, it feels like gold yeah, it feels like gold it aint a smooth ride, life, its a winding road yeah, it might be gravel, but it feels like gold one, two, three [cheers and applause] stephen thank you. Dierks bentley, everybody. Thats it for the late show. Good night