[ light laughter ] hola mis amigos i am bet always look like i drank ten expressos and people are like damn whys he moving his hands [ laughter ] so uhoh uhoh uho uho i can not calm dow im so freaking pumped im gonna beat trum i cant calm down jimmy oh wait, my numbers are down eff yeah [ laughter ] [ laughter ] back on the scene i am berni if you think tha ive changed do not worry want free healthcar and a comb for my hair and im just lik uhoh oh oh ow ow oh oh [ laughter ] they say im too loud but i am upset about college debt so yes i am loud [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] cant believe i stayed up for the bate just to watch 20 loser and lightweights when we all kno itll be sleepy jo and im just lik Donald Donald donald i want to tweet now i keep getting blocked but im loaded and im cocke im gonna tweet now what are you doing . Were almost live. Jimmy oh were were live . Right now . Were live uhoh uho uhoh [ cheers and applause weve got a great crowd from nyc studio 6 were live r
[ cheers and applause an jimmy thk you very much. That was great thank you, welcome [ cheers and applause thanks, that was great relax. Welcome,elcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it youre here. Appreciate it. Look, i know youre all just clappi for the air conditioning but im still glad youre here [ light laughter ] were in the middle of a giant heat wave right now with temperatures in the 90s. Its crazy out there i sat on a bench for two minutes. When i got up, my pants had grill marks. [ laughter ] steve really jimmy i saw that officials are telling people that beer beer is not a good way to stay hydrated and that you should drk water. When new yorkers heard that, theyre like, okay, coors light it is. [ laughter ] [ applause ] well, you guys, this heat wave is really intense. Th kind of weather can be pretty rough so here now with some tips on how to beat the heat are the roots. Questlove thanks jimmynd [ cheers applause so tip number one, stay out the sun and dri
[ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. That was great thank you, welcome [ cheers and applause thanks, that was great relax. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it youre here. Appreciate it. Look, i know youre all just clapping for the air conditioning but im still glad youre here [ light laughter ] were in the middle of a giant heat wave right now with temperatures in the 90s. Its crazy out there i sat on a bench for two minutes. When i got up, my pants had grill marks. [ laughter ] steve really jimmy i saw that officials are telling people that beer beer is not a good way to stay hydrated and that you should drink water. When new yorkers heard that, theyre like, okay, coors light it is. [ laughter ] [ applause ]you ys, this heat we roots. Questlove thanks jimmy [ cheers and applause so tip number one, stay out the sun and drink lots of water. Tariq ah, its a good one. Heres what you should do. You get yourself a klondike bar and use it like a b
Did everybody look a porn star back then . [ laughter ] or did porn stars look like everyone . Im not sure. But fathers day of course is the day on which we punish dad for having sex with our mothers by forcing him to talk on the phone. [ laughter ] it was an especially special fathers day because we heard from some folks we havent heard from in quite a while, including bill cosby, who took time to tweet hey hey hey, its americas dad. I dont sleep. But to all he dads its an honor to be called a father. So lets make today a renewed oath to fulfilling our purpose, strengthening our families and communities. Well, thanks, dr. Huxtable. What an uplifting message from jail. [ laughter ] somebodys now slipping roofies into his own drinks. By the way, i dont think hey hey hey works anymore. As a general rule, your first Public Statement after going to prison for Sexual Assault shouldnt start with hey hey hey. [ laughter ] if you hear the words hey hey hey cover your drinks. Okay . And by the