Major events are being canceled, postponed. The tax deadline may even be postponed. Theyre thinking about pushing tax day past april 15th. Jeff bezos heard that and said, wow, whats tax day . The ncaa announced that march madness will go on but with no fans. There will be no spectators, outside of the players families. They should also consider playing without a ball. Thats just a petri the warriors will be playing without a crowd. But basketball games in the pros have been played without fans before. The clippers did it for many years. [ applause ] and in part, in part because of all these cancellations, a lot of people dont seem to know what to think about the coronavirus, what to feel. Should i be scared . Are people overreacting . Whats true, whats not true . Its totally normal to feel that way. Many have the same thoughts. So i thought this might help. These are the five stages of coronavirus, so first you have denial. Im not going to get the coronavirus. Only old people, Chinese
Oooh, it looks like someone passed out on the Steering Wheel again. Get the poking stick, connie. There you go. Give him a good jab. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight wednesday night fever. Plus, stephen welcomes hank azaria and Suzy Nakamura featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo you cant catch me cheers and applause stephen ladies and gentlemen, friends, neighbors, countried men. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Is eerve you sound good. You people sound good. Is everybody okay tonight . Yeah stephen im glad to hear that, this coronavirus, jon, its making people anxious. People are really nervous. But at a time like this, we all need to laugh and to be together. From a distance of about 20 feet, Something Like that. Quick programming note, starting on monday and this is true out of an abundance of caution, the late show along wi
Former Vice President joe biden widened his delegate lead over senator Bernie Sanders for the democratic nomination. Wow, it is starting to look like biden is going to wander away with this thing. [ laughter ] after a Strong Performance in yesterdays socalled mini tuesday primary, former Vice President joe biden spoke last night from philadelphia and said, quote, tonight we are a step closer to restoring decency, dignity, and honor to the white house. And to anyone who says differently youre full of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth at a press conference seems like mixed messages at a press conference yesterday President Trump encouraged americans to remain calm through the coronavirus outbreak and added it will, quote, go away. I dont know, ive been super calm for three years now and youre still here. [ laughter ] thats right [ cheers and applause thats right, President Trump is encouraging americans to stay calm during the coronavirus outbreak you know, like he alway
Faithful. Youll have a butt clean enough to eat off of. So dont worry about the t. P. Shortage, come to ted bidets budget bidets and get the water up your squatter. Squatter. Stephen welcomes john oliver, and musical guest, alex ebert. With jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live onape from a safe distance, its stephen clbert stephen fire hello. Welcome to day two of my special quarantine edition of the late show with stephen colbert. Or as were calling it tonight, the flame show with stephen colburn. As you can see, ive migrated from my bathtub to my fire pit. Well eventually go through all of the elements. For a lot of americans, today is primary day. Despite the virus, americans are going out and voting. This is still a democracy. The only change is this year well be awarding the presidency to the person with the most toilet paper. Primaries were scheduled today in ohio, arizona, illinois, and florida. They should be fine. Are there any old people in florida . Theres nobody over t
Frozen 2, equally annoying in every language. [ laughter ] there were plenty of controversial moments. I think trump gained another 15 of the vote after those acceptance speeches last night. Bottom line, dont expect to see the joker doing a got milk commercial anytime soon. [ laughter ] the big winner last night was parasite. The movie won four oscars, including best picture. Parasite, if you havent seen it you should. Its very good. Is a south korean film that tells the story of a family who cons their way into a house they have no business living in and things go very wrong from there. The american version of it is called the trumps. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its also known as parasite. As well as tanning with just a bucket. Bong joon ho won best screenplay and best director. Its the first time a nonenglish language film won best picture. And the first time a guy named bong won anything other than a hackie sack contest. [ laughter ] this guy, he was the highlight of the ni