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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20151218

Tell them that we love them and we dont want them to die. I want you to know that, trees. Tosh sure. Its easy to cry about Majestic Trees but some of us happen to care about every living thing on gods beautiful green earth. I want to mourn the loss of my grass and i dont want them to die. There are some people here that do care. I want you to know that clippings. I care jorge, make sure you square off my edges. Yes, mr. Daniel. Tosh may angels sing thee to thy from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause trevor thank you so much thank you welcome to the daily show im trevor noah with a great show for you here tonight. From the new comedy daddys home, will ferrell is here, everybody cheers and applause trevor yes and it is also our final show of 2015. A special occasion, as im sure you can tell by the fact that im wearing underwear. Tonight we look back on some of our favorite

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140620

Almost too thick hair and at the end theyll show pictures that will make you wish that was on the movie instead. My apologies if any of my bits were on mad tv five years ago. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. 8 captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [theme music playing] [cheering and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a a show for you tonight. My guest tonight, the former iraq ambassador to the United Nations, hamid albayati, will be on the show tonight, author of the book from dictatorship to democracy, which i imagine for the paperback there will always probably be an addendum, depending on where it goes next. But first, you know, sometimes a legal ruling comes down that makes everyone say, what . Were just getting around to that now . Like when mississippi finally ratified the 13th amendment banning slavery. [laughter] um, last year. Laughter or when the Supreme Court ruled recent

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130802

I ask you to send in your own. Sports or consequences. A rubber band snap to the nipples. Whew two, three. [ screaming ] [laughter] its behind us. State trooper. The last two idiots did such a good job they got arrested while i fully support and enjoy what they did i do not condone it and tonights wheres daniel is tough but heres a hint. Im some where towards the middle of your screen. Good night. [cheers and applause] from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central well come to the daily show. Welcome. Mi john olver, im still sitting in for jon stewart who is currently on an uninhabited island in the pas civic learning about the human condition and befriending a volleyball. Our guests tonight here to discuss his one man show unconstitutional colin quinn is going to be here. cheers and applause very funny man. But we start tonight with our love affair with fast food. Well, not s

From Bernstein to Frankenstein: Maestro, Migration, Aquaman & the Lost Kingdom, Anyone but You, The Iron Claw, and Poor Things

From Bernstein to Frankenstein: Maestro, Migration, Aquaman & the Lost Kingdom, Anyone but You, The Iron Claw, and Poor Things
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