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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240711

Airpods and hope he doesnt shove us into an oncoming train. [ laughter ] even with all this tension, trump has not lost his sense of humor. For instance, this morning he tweeted, we will win. [ laughter ] which is funny. We have a reality show host who will not accept reality. How pleased with himself is Vladimir Putin right now . That 2 million rubles or whatever he put into interfering in the election in 2016 . What a payoff. Might be the greatest investment of all time. Its like he hit the destroy america lotto. Republicans are handling the president with kid gloves, because those are the only gloves that fit him. [ laughter ] i have to say, im less disgusted with our toddlerinchief throwing his oatmeal than i am at the Republican Congress going along with this. The baby is right that oatmeal should go on the wall, hes within his rights to throw it on the wall. We need to let the process of oatmealflinging play out. [ laughter ] only a handful of prominent republicans have acknowled

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240712

Announcer live from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon join his guests, musical guests of monsters and men and featuring the legendary ruths crew and now here is your host, jimmy fallon thank you very much. Welcome. Thank you so much, everybody welcome to the tonight show. Were coming to you live right now from studio 6 a. After the final debate between President Trump and joe biden and i think we can all agree the winner was Kristen Welker. Come on. Knockout home run of course, everybody was talking about how there would be a mute button used during tonights debate it seemed like it worked pretty we well im thinking of getting one for thanksgiving the muted mikes helped it was much calmer at one point they almost cut to Jeffrey Toobin to lightening things up. Trump seemed much more calm. Did they replace him with his disney robot for the most part, things were civil compared today first debate, was a ufc fight on meth. It was a

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

New york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor today marks exactly seven months since march 15th. That was the day when i first started doing this show from my apartment, and im not going to lie i did not think we would still be here in october. Aaahhh i hope somebodys been going to office to water my puppy. Sad truth is, the Global Pandemic is not only still with us but in many places are getting worse. Cases are rising so fast in europe paris imposed a curfew from 9 00 a. M. To 6 00 p. M. , which means frenchmen will have no time to see their secret families. Things arent looking at that great in america either where were seeing the start of a third wave which is really concerning. You never want to shout corona would be at the next board meeting. Could we stop calling it a wave . That sounds relaxing. Doesnt sound severe enough. How about a third tsunami, monsoon, bitch slap of corona . On a hopeful note, it is go

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240711

[ cheers and applause thank you all for watching stay safe out there. Wash your hands. Dont touch your face. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Good night, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers chat and music from john legend, comedienne sarah cooper, an all new closer look, featuring the 8g brand with Carter Mclean. And now seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody and welcome to late night. Sorry, wally, is that the only thing on the card . Thats it seth huh, i guess we were over relying on him. [ laughter ] all right, let me tell a story when we first started the show about six years ago, our First Episode in this studio we had two guests amy poehler, my dear friend, and joe biden. And it was important to me that amy poehler was our first guest. Because i really did not believe then, and do not believe now that i would ever have this job if it wasnt for her which meant that we had to ask the then, Vice President of the United State

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240712

Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Join jimmy and his guests kevin james, lenny kravitz, comedian Nate Bargatze and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ applause ] jimmy hi, everyone thank you very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, it was just another crazy week and tonight President Trump did his first oncamera interview since he got covid. Lets see who he decided to talk to. He have just learned this morning that President Trump is set to appear in his first oncamera interview tonight and will apparently get a medical evaluation, not by the white house physician, but by a doctor on fox news, according to the Cable Network [ laughter ] jimmy thats right trump got a remote medical evaluation its like a zoom physical. It was a tough choice for tv viewers, yankee playoff game, nba finals or hearing about a 74yearold ma

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