Announcer live from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon join his guests, musical guests of monsters and men and featuring the legendary ruths crew and now here is your host, jimmy fallon thank you very much. Welcome. Thank you so much, everybody welcome to the tonight show. Were coming to you live right now from studio 6 a. After the final debate between President Trump and joe biden and i think we can all agree the winner was Kristen Welker. Come on. Knockout home run of course, everybody was talking about how there would be a mute button used during tonights debate it seemed like it worked pretty we well im thinking of getting one for thanksgiving the muted mikes helped it was much calmer at one point they almost cut to Jeffrey Toobin to lightening things up. Trump seemed much more calm. Did they replace him with his disney robot for the most part, things were civil compared today first debate, was a ufc fight on meth. It was a lot nicer if the first debate was sponsored by red bull, this was sponsored by nyquil. Everyone was impressed by trump not interrupting or yelling. Not a great sign to talk about the president like we talk about a 4yearold at a puppet show. You did a great job. You really did thats right tonight we saw a new trump instead of shouting accusations, he whispered them. Trump held in his anger for so long as soon as the debate was over, he chewed off the armrest in his limo. Nobody seemed to get too rawled up the only person upset was chris wallace. Thats how you do it a lot of people played drinking games during tonights debate. If you drank every time biden said come on, you were unconscious by 9 15. Come on. Tonights debate was considered a win for the Trump Campaign mostly because he didnt walk in with a highly contagious disease. Actually, they were supposed to have two plexiglass barriers separating trump and biden but ultimately decided against it so make it two more walls trump couldnt build. Oh i got the oh for that one oh before the remember date oh oh thats my jam. Thats what i do i come out and everybody says oh, jimmy, dont hurt them before the debate it was announced joe biden tested negative for coronavirus and meanwhile, trump is on so many steroids, he tested positive for lance armstrong. Heading into tonight, anywhere between two and 8 of americans were still undecided i just want to say if after tonight youre still undecided, then well we couldnt pick a joke for this one but well figure it out in the week. Tonights debate had six topics fighting covid19, national security, american families, race in america, Climate Change and whether Rudy Giuliani was actually tucking in his shirt. But after a slow start, trump made a lot of accusations about biden and his family so joe tried to turn the conversation to the familys watching at home. There is a very strong email talking about your family wanting to make 10 million a year. He doesnt want to talk about the substancetive issues its not about his family and my family it about your family thats the last thing he wants to talk about. Trump is like trust me, in ouro household, its never been about my family. After trump accused biden of wanting to destroy Social Security and medicare, biden said trump might have the wrong guy. Very confused guy he thinks hes running against somebody else. Hes running against joe biden i beat all those other people because i disagreed with them. Joe biden hes running against. Biden was fired up. Trump is like give me whatever steroids hes on later Kristen Welker asked if trumps language was contributing to a climate of hate in our country. Check out what he had to say. I am the least racist person in this room i cant even see the audience because its so dark but i dont care who is in the audience, im the least racist person in this room [ laughter ] then instead of the mute button, someone hit the laugh track. A little weird to say im the least racist person in the room when half the room are your friends and family hes more racist than i am since this was the last debate, both candidates wanted to make their Closing Arguments to the American People. Let look at one of trumps Closing Arguments now. I know more about win than you do its extremely expensive kills all the birds. [ laughter ] actually, thats not all. Trump has been making Closing Arguments all week here is another one. This was caused by russia, russia [ laughter ] hes really trying to get the word out lets see another Closing Argument from trump. Covid, covid, covid, covid, covid, covid, covid. Do we have any more Closing Arguments from trump oh my gosh. And with us, as well, are members of the incredible lu lumbykatawka tribe. Okay. One more just one more. Katawka tribe. Okay. One more just one more. What kind of ice cream are you eating chocolat chocolate. Oh my goodness. Unbelievable well, trump had a busy day after walking out of yesterdays interview with 60 minutes today he posted the footage early. I guess he thought it would help him look better but not really sure why watch this. You dont ask biden tough questions. I dont interview biden i only interview you. Are you ready for tough questions . Are you i think we have enough of an interview here okay thats enough. Lets go. Hes the most powerful man in the world and he spends his time making bootleg episodes of 60 minutes. Trump tried to embarrass leslie by leaking a video of her asking tough questions. Isnt that her job hell embarrass bobby flay making food. You got served, bobby. Did you see hill drink tm drink with two hands im just glad hes back to full strength [ laughter ] how is he still Drinking Water with two hands joe biden is weak. He doesnt have the physical stamina to be president. Very, very poor health [ laughter ] this is interesting, before tonights debate they announced a recordbreaking number of people have voted. Nearly 48 million. I guess that explains why three hours ago 48 Million People tuned into netflix i asked when they made up their minds, early voters said march 2020 you know trump is thinking 48 Million People couldnt wait to reelect me makes sense so many people were able to do it. Voting is the only plan on our calendars in seven months. This actually could be something. Apparently, nasa has a big announcement listen to this. Apparently, nasa made an exciting New Discovery about the moon there is a huge announcement coming from nasa but we have to wait until monday. Nasa, you know i love you but come on. Were living through a pandemic. The last thing we need is a cliff hanger about the moon. Just tell us its like dr. Fauci saying i have exciting news about the virus that ill tell you right after the break. Its 2020 so part of me is definitely worried were about to find out the moon once partied with Jeffrey Epstein [ laughter ] americans are like unless its going to explode, we do not care some sports news, the nfl announced if games keep getting pushed back because of covid it could affect when the season ends. The nfl frks lrkfl acknowle super bowl could be moved to march if games keep having to be postponed. They said keep share schedules open, except the jets, they can make plans. Thats right, the nfl said the decision will be made by league officials, medical experts and patrick mahomes. I suppose that time works for me honestly, i dont care i lost interest in the nfl once they cancelled the pro bowl. [ laughter ] i mean, why even have a season, right, guys . Finally, a bank in california had a break in but the thieves arent who youd expect. Two masked bandits broke into a California Bank tuesday but didnt get away with any cash. Check out the culprits they are not bank robbers. A couple raccoons. Police were like awe until they realized one was wanted for triple homicide. Meanwhile, another raccoon was outside hacking into the security system. I just need three more seconds and yeah, were in the only ones to ever break into a bank like just give us all the trash and no one gets hurt we have a great show tonight thank you for watching were live here. Give it up for the roots we have a great show for you tonight. She is reuniting with some friends from seinfeld for the live streamed event Julia Louis Dreyfus is here and monsters and men its time for tonights hashtag monsters and men its time for tonights hashtag monsters and men its time for tonights hashtagd monsters and men its time for tonights hashtag. Now we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and ask you guys to respond to the topic so with the debate happening earlier tonight, i sent out the hashtag called the debate in six words. And as you guys summarize the debate in six words. Within minutes, it was a trending topic thanks for playing along it fun, i love it. I want to share some of my favorite, the debate in six words responses. This is from comrade bot she says thunder dome in the nursing home not bad. Id watch that movie this is from matt jim jay every day. He says originality, clarity, optimism, hope, dreams, kidding. [ laughter ] this is from stowaway 76 he says i kind of miss trump being insane im sure hell come bac back. This is from at magsland she said did they buy their suits together they did look like they were wearing the same suit. This next one, socks are my own one. He says 12 more days until i sleep. Oh, yeah, were almost there were almost there, buddy. This is from tigervaughn. She says ill wait for the snl version. A lot of people. [ applause ] a lot of people are this one is from micki, he says this grumpy old man sequel sucks. Grumpy old men three, thunder dome in the nursing home this last one is fro from rasinland, wonder what the fly is up to yeah probably writing a tell all book this is from big dogs jamming. [ laughter ] big dogs jamming. She says worst episode of the bacheloret bachelorette ever this last one here is fro from jayisnervous says Kristen Welker for president. That is all. Thank you very much. Those are tonight show hashtags. Stick around, well be right back with Julia Louisdreyfus. Best resale value brand, 2020 lowest 5year cost to own brand, and most trusted brand for six consecutive years. No wonder Kelley Blue Book also picked subaru as their 2020 best overall brand. A trusted brand and a proven value. Its easy to love a subaru. Get 0 apr financing for 63 months on select new 2020 models, now through november 2nd. Now roomba vacuums exactly where you need it. Alexa, tell roomba to vacuum in front of the couch. And offers personalized cleaning suggestions for a clean unique to you and your home. Roomba and the irobot home app. Only from irobot. But i bet i love kelloggs frosted flakes more than you. Come on, buddy. My pictures on the box. Its the truth, tony. Tiebreaker whos got the deeper voice . Both theyre grrreat i win. I win. Oh, youre cute when youre wrong. I win. I in. Patience is not a virtue, it is a weapon. Whats your wild rabbit . Jimmy my first guest is an 11time emmywinning actress 11time emmywinning oh, my goodness she deserves 1,000 shes reuniting with some of her friends from seinfeld for an event called a fundraiser about something. A fundraiser about something, which will live stream tomorrow at 7 00 p. M. Central time. Here is the one and only Julia Louisdreyfus. Oh, my gosh. [ applause ] thank you so much for being here hello jimmy and talking to me tonight. I really i want to get into so many things i think youre yeah. Jimmy doing so much good work right now but now, were taping this before the final president ial debate airs. Yeah. Jimmy but if you could look into the future, what do you think your reaction will be to tonights debate i think im going to be in the other room screaming into the tv room, whats happening . Because i am getting im so anxious about all of this. It happened in the last debate, too. That fool started screaming and talking over everybody and i had to walk out. It just made me too upset and anxious. Jimmy that was one of the worst things and thats what i did i just kept hearing, how we doing . How we doing . Jimmy yeah and then i stayed out and thats what im going to do tonight, too jimmy obviously, i have to watch because we have to make jokes about this, you know, afterwards right jimmy and its like, just i still have a crick in my neck from that. Yeah. Jimmy cause it was like watching two people get into an argument for an hour or two or two hours i go, this is the worst thing i ever had to watch. I go just it was bad. Jimmy it stressed me out im so happy this is the last one tonight. Yeah, me, too jimmy but youve gotten to know Vice President biden personally over the past few years. Yeah. Jimmy when did you first meet him i first met him i first really met him when i was doing veep. And we were in d. C. , and he invited me to the white house for lunch. Jimmy no and yeah and i have to tell you, it was so i was so excited and so, i had such butterflies and i got there, and it was in his office, by the way it was in his office jimmy oh, my gosh. And so i know. Then the waiter came in. Jimmy yup. And he said, what would you like . And he presented with a menu and i i mean, i couldnt eat cause i was so overcome that i was even there right . Jimmy of course. And so i said, okay, ill just have that sandwich. You know, im not really thinking and then joe goes, oh, no, you should get the crab cakes, too bring her the crab cakes, too. And the next thing i know, i got these two huge plates of food and its just me and joe biden sitting there. And i need to make a dent in both of these meals. And i had no i was like dry mouth. You know, that kind of nervousness. Anyway jimmy how cool is that he couldnt have been nicer. Yeah, it was crazy and then he had to go to some meeting after this and he says, i got to go to a meeting. Im gonna go on the motorcade. You want to ride in the motorcade . I was like, yeah, i want to ride in the motorcade. Jimmy youre kidding me no jimmy you are in the car with him i think i took a i took a picture of it. I think you guys may have it but anyway, yeah jimmy oh yes jimmy hol thats the motorcade. Jimmy how cool thats the motorcade. Isnt that neat . Jimmy at the dnc you got to speak at the dnc which is talk about pressure right there. No kidding. Jimmy you told the story about the time that Vice President biden called you after your cancer diagnosis. Yes yes. I got i was diagnosed with breast cancer, and this is, i guess geez, i guess its a little over three years ago now. And he called. And, of course, his beloved son beau jimmy yeah had struggled with this disease. And so he was very well connected to doctors he knew this hospital and that group and this Research Team and blah, blah, blah and so he was calling me to talk to me about who my doctors were and how could he help and should he put me in touch with this, that, and the other. And it was just so beyond the beyond in terms of kindness, for real it was just it was astoundingly thoughtful. Jimmy wow. And i couldnt get him off the phone, by the way. Jimmy yeah i mean, i was like, you got to dont you have to run the country . Jimmy you have things to do, buddy. Yeah yeah, totally jimmy hes that amazing. But i mean, he really wanted to talk to me about sort of my medical plan and how i was going to do it and blah, blah, blah it was incredibly sweet. Needless to say, thats certainly not the reason he has my support but it is emblematic of the thoughtfulness and the kindness that is a part of his personality, which is sorely missing right now in the white house. Jimmy you know there have been countless comparisons between the current presidency and your show veep. But i think i agree with you i think i know what youre going to say but its almost like whats happening couldnt even be written in veep. cause its too ridiculous well, yeah i mean, i got to tell you. Its one of the reasons we ended the show because, uh jimmy is that right . The yeah, because the Trump Administration was sort of out veeping us at every moment they were sort they were doing a better version of our show, except that it wasnt even remotely funny. [ light laughter ] but they really were and i mean, i can tell you that if my writers had put into a a script some of the shenanigans that this guy is up to these days, i would have said, guys, not plausible nobody is going to believe it. Its too broad. Jimmy yeah its too cartoony. Jimmy exactly. You know. Jimmy so many things you go, theres no way this is real. But yeah i know. Jimmy if you wrote it in a a script, you go, thats too farfetched. Oh, too farfetched for sure jimmy you had a great tweet after there was a video of trump dancing at a rally that went viral. And he was doing this thing. And you said, first of all, he stole veep, now he is stealing from seinfeld. [ laughter ] yeah. Jimmy so good. By the way melania deserves an emmy for acting like shes attracted to this jimmy how did you come up with that dance, by the way . I know everyone probably asked you about this but how . Is it its the funniest thing i have ever seen well, this is how it happened this is how it happened. So the writers wrote the script i got it the night before the table read, right . And it said, you know, elaine dances weird. But they didnt say how or anything so i thought, uhh. So, i got in front of the mirror and i tried out a couple of movements that i thought looked horrible jimmy yeah and then i came down to the kitchen. And my husband was there and my mom was visiting at the time and i said, okay, guys, tell me which one of these is worse. [ light laughter ] and i did it for them. And they chose that one. And thats the one that i did in the show. And the thing that most people dont know is that, of course, theres music playing when you watch the that episode. Elaine is dancing to music but when we actually shot it, we couldnt play music because all of a sudden those hurky jerky movements would have been to the beat. I couldnt separate it you know what i mean jimmy yeah, yeah you would be too on rhythm yeah oh, gosh and it had to be completely off rhythm and thats just a way of me defending myself so you dont think that i really dance like that i actually do have a little bit of rhythm. Jimmy oh, yeah not tons, but ive got it jimmy well that must be do people ask you to do the dance all the time like, hey, do the dance come on. Yes, they do. Yeah and i dont do it. I dont do it. Jimmy of course not. But i can tell you if i go to, like, a wedding or something where theres dancing and i hit the dance floor, i feel all eyes on me. Its a very selfconscious thing. And so theres massive pressure to really move jimmy that was a big like i know what im doing. Jimmy and then you go, this is not fun everyone is staring. Oh, my gosh. Speaking of seinfeld, youre planning a mini reunion for a fundraiser happening tomorrow night. Yes jimmy i want to talk about that when we come back is that cool great yeah jimmy more with Julia Louisdreyfus after the break, everybody music playing you can get half off your second sandwich by using promo code saveon2. Greg booked another 7am meeting . Wizards wizard status perfect for you, and your new coworker. Just use saveon2, online or on our app. Introducing walmart . With free unlimited delivery on groceries and all the things you love. [spoon clinking in mug] the Bulleit Frontier Fund is making a commitment to help bartenders keep doing what they do best. [spoon clinking in glass] lets keep our bartenders pouring. [spoon clinking in glass] come on lets hide in the attic. No. In the basement. Why cant we just get in the running car . Are you crazy . Lets hide behind the chainsaws. Smart. Yeah. Ok. If youre in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. Its what you do. This was a good idea. Shhhh. Im being quiet. Youre breathing on me if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Lets go to the cemetery hey allergy muddlers. Achoo . Do your sneezes turn heads . Try zyrtec. It starts working hard at hour one. And works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Zyrtec muddle no more. Readjusting wont be easy. Start by smelling your best again, with axe. Get clean. Smell ready. Well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Start by smelling your best again, with axe. Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. Not much, how about you . Are you answering my text in person . I am, yeah. Lol come on in. This is tech that helps you be there. The Nissan Altima now offering the most techadvanced engine in its class jimmy welcome back im talking with the great Julia Louisdreyfus. Julia, thanks again for doing my show. You know, youre doing a a fundraiser tomorrow night. Yes jimmy with a couple of your seinfeld pals. Tell me about this and how it came together. Okay. So, a couple weeks ago now, i did a fundraiser for the Wisconsin Democratic party with the veep cast. And it went very well. It was very, very successful and, so, im just constantly racking my brain about getting the message out about voting and raising funds for the democrats and whats an effective way to and i thought, oh, well, lets get the Seinfeld Group together, if i can. It was very last minute. I mean, like, hyper last minute jimmy yeah and we thought, oh, lets do a fundraiser for texas. Because texas is on the verge of turning blue. I mean, sort of all the way down the ballot. Not just the congressional seats, but also the state legislature. And thats incredibly important. Jimmy really because, if were able to turn the state legislature blue, then we get a seat at the table when it comes to redistricting. And, you know, the republicans have been very, very crafty in their gerrymandering, which is not a cool thing to do and so its important state Legislature Races in addition, of course, to the other races are just as important, just as critical so we thought, lets raise funds for texas, cause theres a real opportunity here. So, thats what were doing. So, larry david, Jason Alexander and myself jimmy wow. And seth meyers is going to moderate and were going to each of us is going to talk about were going to pick an episode we have picked an episode, each of us, to talk about sort of, i dont know, the making of, behind the scenes that kind of stuff it will be really fun. Jimmy thats going to be great. Can you tell us what episode you picked or no yes i picked the soup nazi. And Jason Alexander picked the marine biologist. And larry david picked the contest. [ light laughter ] so, i know so, anyway thatll be super fun. And were going to have sort of seinfeld memorabilia stuff that were going to raffle away to people who sign up for this and you can go to afundraiseraboutsomething. Com if you want to to join the party tomorrow jimmy yeah its important to encourage people to talk about their voting plan, is what you have been saying. Oh, yes jimmy why the voting plan so its not even like, just why is that important . Well, getting people to vote sometimes can be a heavy lift. I think sometimes because the Voter Suppression effort is such a strong one that people feel disenfranchised and feel as if their vote doesnt matter but, of course, you and i both know thats not the case the more people vote, the better it is for our democracy and, i do mean that, really. I say that as a democrat i say it i believe that and, Research Shows us that if you, for instance, jimmy, talk to three of your friends who may not be that inclined to vote, right . And you say, whats your voting plan . And they say, well, im not sure. And you can kind of sort of talk them into casting their ballot you will have a very you have a very good shot at getting them to vote so, in addition to making your own plan, asking people in your life what their plan is, is very effective jimmy it sparks. So, my plan here is my ballot right here. Im going to fill this out, and im voting early and taking it in next week thats my plan jimmy ah whats your plan . Jimmy ive sent mine in. I handed mine to a i went to the post office here in the building i did it last week i filled out my ballot with black ink, by the way, black ink. Good. Jimmy dont use a pencil dont use colored ink. Black ink. I did it in the secret envelope i put the secret envelope in the other envelope, so that through the windows, you can see it and, in new york city, believe it or not, you need a stamp. Which, a lot of people will probably be like, are you kidding me i dont have a stamp. I feel bad i think i go like, if theres someone in their 80s, how would you understand how to do this, unless you have someone helping you . Jimmy i did a video. Its online. I show people how easy it is oh, good. Jimmy you can do it. I showed this is exactly how do you it. You put this envelope in this thing. Its like, its possible its good. Yeah. Jimmy but, someone needs to talk you through it. Yeah. Sometimes, you know, cause each state has different methods, etc. , etc jimmy yep. So, its important to know to decide what your voting plan is, and then get it done and if you can early vote, like you did, and like im going to do, thats a very good thing, too. cause voter turnout is huge this year. 5 Million People have already voted in texas thats a lot jimmy have they always texas is giant. Have they always had a lot of voter turnout, or is it just this year . No. No they are getting more people to turn out this year and this year there are about 2. 6 million more eligible voters in texas since 2016 so thats like thats like the population of new mexico inside of texas. So its just its just its a real opportunity, lets put it that way. Jimmy well, i gotta say, you have been you said that you are going to do this and get people to vote and already, we are seeing numbers go up. So this is all because of everyones hard work but, thank you for doing all of this hard work its awesome what you are doing. Thank you jimmy its always great to see you. Good luck with everything at the the fundraiser about something. Right fundraiser about something. Com. Or you can come to my social and sign up. And any amount you can give any amount. Jimmy yeah any amount. Jimmy love it. Jimmy Julia Louisdreyfus, everybody. Thank you jimmy well be right back with Patton Oswalt youre the best. Come back whenever oh, Patton Oswalt, tell him i said hey. 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Hey, looking good, buddy welcome welcome to the show thank you so much for doing this i appreciate this. I like the little halloween back there this is very come on. You are a good man i want to get into so many things but first, the final president ial debate was tonight. And we shot this interview earlier today before the debate but you have been live tweeting every debate so far. It is fantastic. Is it therapeutic for you in a a way . Its weird, yes its very therapeutic in that i tweet stuff out about what im seeing to make a joke about it but then, im realizing and if you watch as the night goes on, my tweets turn into did he just, like thats insane what he just said and then, im looking at the replies. And everyone on twitter is going, yeah, that was its not you. You are not hallucinating. He said that its okay. Were all like, we now need twitter for reassurance as to what reality is. Jimmy in this debate tonight, they are introducing muted mics the mute button. I mean, theres a mute button at a debate thats where we are. Jimmy what is going on what would you do if what measures would you put in place to make sure the American People got the debate that they deserve . I would have little flamethrowers facing up in the podium, that they could see. Theres no surprise here and first infraction, we just light the pilot light, you see the little pilot light come on second one, quick little burst and then third one, we just go full Sigourney Weaver in alien. [ laughter ] well blast everything jimmy little burst one of the things we always end up talking about is music on our show but you said that you are impressed with bidens music choices when compared to trumps. I mean, not just bidens music choices, but bidens music access did you see the ad for the blind pig. Where in the same ad jimmy yes. Iggy pop, breeders, the pixies and the beastie boys. Jimmy the beastie boys the beastie boys in the same ad now, trump at best has Lee Greenwood and maybe kid rock and then, that free music that you hear podcasts use all the time [ laughter ] like the Standard Rock thing whatever it is that you have to pay for. And then, whenever he uses any good song, the artist immediately puts i am i dont want my stuff there. I dont want to be associated. So when you watch the blind pig ad, a, for you and me, for gen x, that was a bunker buster, having those bands in the same ad. Well, you own gen x now. You have us. Jimmy i couldnt believe that but also, youve got to know that if someone our age who is a trump supporter is watching that ad, theyre like, everyone that i ever loved through the 80s and 90s thinks im an idiot right now. Jimmy yeah, like, neil young is like, stop, just dont even try. Exactly jimmy i want to talk to you about what you are doing for your new special first of all, congrats, your netflix special i love everything was nominated for an emmy. Congrats on that i havent had a chance to congratulate you and say that was awesome. But you were in great company. Mulaney, hannah gadsby, seth meyers. And Dave Chappelle jimmy oh, chappelle. Yeah, of course. Who i happily lost to jimmy you and chappelle though is this story i heard this is true. Did you and Dave Chappelle start on the exact same night . I remember it as the exact same night he said it was the same week we both came out of washington, d. C. It was july 18, 1988, garvins comedy club, tuesday night he was 14 years old, i was 19. He went up jimmy 14 it looked he took the stage like he had been doing it for 30 years it just it was the most natural you just oh, this person is going to be a gigantic star. He absolutely killed and then, he told me later on, because i said i was hanging out with him recently at all places, at Eddie Murphys house. We were hanging out, and it was the weirdest thats a whole other story. Jimmy i cant wait, yeah save that one. We were talking about that. He goes, yeah, but what you forget is, i had that great first night. And then, i couldnt get a a laugh for like a year later, which really which has happened to a lot of comedians david cross and brian regan both talk about how the first thing they went on stage, they annihilated and then they could not figure out how to make that happen again for like a year and that really messes with you. Jimmy it really does youre like, what did i do . What was the secret of that night . Was i just in a better mood . Thats so interesting. Yeah, but luckily, on my first night, i didnt have the disadvantages that Dave Chappelle had i completely ate it. Had nowhere to go but up [ laughter ] jimmy you set the bar low. Yeah, not only did i eat it, i had that thing, im sure youve had this happen too where i got the one laugh i got was from another comedian. But he gave me that kind of polite, like, oh i see how you were trying to get i appreciate that you were trying to get to a joke you didnt get to a joke, but i will acknowledge the effort. You have heard that before, havent you . Jimmy oh, its my favorite the left side of the room at the improv thats where all the comics would be, and if you do a thing, you would hear somebody go, like, ah. [ laughter ] thats the whole, like jimmy thats exactly right i you gave a good effort, but you failed jimmy but you are doing actually a live virtual special tomorrow im going to be doing an actual sitting down i tried to work out a way to, like, walk around with a mic but i havent worked it. This is going to be me sitting and talking intimately jimmy yeah and i was very nervous about doing this because im just addicted to i go on a stage but i have been starting to watch online shows i watched brian posehns special. I watched Maria Bamfords special. And theres a regular show called keep your distance. Jimmy oh, really that does an online show and they are really, really good and also, Mike Birbiglia has been working it out ways. So again jimmy ive seen some of birbiglias things, yeah you know, this comedy always mutates and changes its form and right now, this is how it has to be. And i really love doing comedy so i dont want to not do it so you are going to get to tune in and see the terror of me trying to do this in a way i have never done it before, which i hope that in itself will be entertaining jimmy its going to be great. I cannot wait to watch on friday Patton Oswalt, everybody his new special, Patton Oswalt arms length is streaming live tomorrow night at 9 00 p. M. At onlocationlive. Com thank you so much for being here, buddy, and best to the fam. Thank you, jimmy. Jimmy we will be right back with a performance from of monsters and men stick around, everybody. Hola, soy j balvin and im dropping my mcdonalds order. Leggo a big mac no pickles please. There you go. Medium fries. Con ketchup. And an oreo mcflurry. Of course ooof the j balvin meal. Get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Im lovin it get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Iphone 12 and iphone 12 pro are here on verizon 5g. Whoo this new iphone, plus verizon 5g. Game changer. announcer with the coverage of 5g nationwide, and, in more and more cities, the performance of 5g ultra wideband, the fastest 5g in the world. Whoa. I downloaded a whole movie in under 30 seconds. How is that possible . announcer preorder today, and when you switch, get iphone 12 on us. 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My finger is on the button push the button the time has come to galvanize jimmy performing their news ignlse visitor, and coming to you from iceland, here are of monsters and men lets not make this complicate i know you last night i ha the strangest drea that you knew me too but you need to wake up i cant have you disappear just like my parents hous ive become a visitor in the night you sa that you go underwater you wont take me no you wont drown with your love you told me that i wasnt available i guess i wasn i wasnt capable i want to do bette this time but i guess youre better in the back of my mind oh you need to wake up i cant have you disappea just like my parents hous ive become a visitor my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed my mother said i wa always afraid of the dar but im not i dont mind having a ghost in my bed [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you to of monsters and men stick around for more tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] what does it mean to be truly great . Its following your passion to the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. But thats tough to do on a fixed income. Id be hit with a tax penalty for moving to another county, so im voting yes on prop 19. It limits property taxes and lets seniors transfer their homes current tax base to another home thats closer to family or medical care. Being closer to family is important to me. How about you . Voting yes on prop 19. In business you have to be then do it all over again. Comcast business gives you fast, reliable internet on the nations largest gigspeed network. And now for a limited time, you can also get fast shipping with amazon business prime essentials. So no matter what comes next, youll always be ready to bounce forward. Get started with powerful internet and voice for 64. 90 a month, and ask how you can get one free year of amazon busines prime essentials on us. Call or go online today. Comcast business. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you all for watching stay safe out there. Wash your hands. Dont touch your face. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Goodnight, everybody