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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Eddie was a very nice and very funny guy. He lost a long and difficult battle with cancer. He will be missed by many, and i know we all send our best to his family and friends. What a rotten year this has been. Every day its just another punch in the gut. But this morning our president woke up and tweeted feeling great so thats good news. He is all hopped up on dexamethasone right now. And to prove it he put out another im physically marvelous video today. I just left walter reed medical center, and its really something very special. The doctors, the nurses, the first responders. And i learned so much about coronavirus. And one thing thats for certain, dont let it dominate you. Jimmy right. Just run out there and breathe it all in. Be a man, will you . Typhoid donny made a trumpumphant return to the white house last night with a dramatic balcony scene that only an egomaniac on massive amounts of drugs would ever even think to stage. Which is why people, you know, take great pains to pr

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Parents, her parents, their parents. Who have been deceased for years. It was a textplosion. Because the president wrote on twitter. Tonight, flotus and i tested positive for covid19. We will begin our quarantine and Recovery Process immediately. We will get through this together which. I dont know whos writing this year, but its too much. Its not even believable anymore. Its ridiculous. Aides said the president appeared to be lethargic over the past few days. They got worried yesterday morning, when he couldnt smell his mcgriddle. Trump was said to be experiencing mild symptoms. At around 6 20, he was taken in marine one to walter reed hospital, where he is expected to remain for a few days. The president walked to the helicopter on his own. We dont know the full extent of his symptoms. His staff says he had a fever, so they sent him to the hospital just to be safe. He is high risk because of his age and weight. Fortunately, he has obamacare, so hes covered on those preexisting condit

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

That decide which emojis do and do not make it onto your phone, these are some for 2020. I dont know if they dont sum up 2020 i dont know what does. This is person with beard and woman with beard. That looks like emojesus. Even our emojis are letting themselves go. Ive had meetings with these people, ive filled out the forms and presented my case, still no meatball emoji. Sausage, dumplings, tacos, no meatballs. They have falafel and bundt cake, but no meatball. We need a new president , we really do. [cheers and applause] we have a fun show, jack black, tenacious d, is with us. And we will be joined by the cast of the show that dominated the emmies. Dan levy, they won all the emmies. Canadians havent swept like this since the world curling championships back in 2017. Their show, as you probably know, is called Schitts Creek, which is a problem for american broadcast television. The show up a creek whose name we cant say on morning tv. Cant say the name on tv but it involves the creek.

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Into your phone, revealed the more than 200 new ones theyll be rolling out. That is face with spiral eyes, heart on fire, and face exhaling. Well, if those three emojis together dont sum up 2020, i dont know what does. They also have some new facial hair stuff. This is person with a beard and this is woman with a beard. I dont know. Looks like emo jesus to me, or jared leto. Even our emojis are letting themselves go during quarantine. And once again, despite my intense lobbying efforts, i had meetings with these people, i filled out the forms, i presented my case, still no meatball emoji theyve got sausage, theyve got dumplings, theyve got oysters, chicken, tacos and soup. No meatballs. Theyve got falafel and bundt cake. I cant get a meatball. We need a new president. We have a fun show tonight from beginning to end. Jack black and kyle gass, otherwise known as tenacious d, is with us, and we will be joined by the cast of the show that dominated the emmys. Dan levy, eugene levy, Cather

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Zone a is the best zone. The rest of you are zone bm. Is what you are over in the you know today this morning, an asteroid the size of a school bus narrowly passed by earth. In astronomical terms, it just missed us. Which is a shame. I feel like some of you arent praying hard enough. With each passing day, it seems more and more likely that we are on the brink of something very bad. Our president made another history making Statement Last night, when asked if he would leave the white house gracefully if he doesnt win. Win, lose or draw in this election, would you commit here today for a peaceful transferral of power after the election . Well have to see what happens, as you know ive been complaining very strongly about the ballots, the ballots are a disaster. I understand that, but the people are rioting. We want to, get rid of the ballots, and well have a very peaceful, there wont be a transfer, frankly, therell be a continuation. Jimmy well, so much for that nobel peace prize. That i

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