Cardboard cutouts had vanished. So we started looking through the shots, frame by frame. We thought through every possibility. Were they stolen . Maybe the dodgers had to cover them up, because Clayton Kershaw was getting lost in my eyes. No. Turns out the dodgers had moved us, like garbage. And you know who they replaced us with . And this is, by the way, 100 real. We did not make this up. I turn on yesterdays game and in my seat was none other than guillermo dude, what the hell guillermo i didnt know rob oh, im sure you didnt know. So you get my seat. Let me ask you a question. Have you been on a Network Television show every year since 1999 . Guillermo i dont think so. Rob thats what im saying. This just isnt cool. In fact, i think this is mlbs. I dont want to be all political, but sometimes you have to take a stand, which is why im going to call on everyone within the sound of my voice to right this wrong and tweet at the dodgers, okay . With the , lowewasrobbed. Yes, there are man
Really have a star on the walk of fame until someone dressed as elmo throws up on it. And that happened on tuesday i cant wait to take my grandkids to hollywood boulevard someday and say see where that meth head is break dancing . Thats right on top of your grand daddys name i need all the victories i can get right now, because next month theres a pretty good chance theyre gonna give my emmy away to someone else again. Im nominated for lead actor in a comedy series, and these are im the least favored to win. And look, its great to be nominated and all, but the truth is i dont do this for the awards. I do it for the money. Ive been nominated for my role on blackish six years in a row. Havent won. Im 0 for 6. That means ive had my same acceptance speech. Seember 25. Ch imyck, for x ng s and now its time for america to finally hear it. Guillermo . Announce me. Guillermo just a second and the emmy goes to mr. Anthony anderson what . We did it we did it we did it, mama, we won, oh, my god.
Dammit. Only a two . Ok at least theres room for improvement. We have to enjoy tiktok while we still got it. Because the president wants to get rid of it. No one really knows why. Personally i think its because he tried the im a savage dance and got zero likes. But losing tik tok would be disastrous. Without it, where else would we spend time on the internet . Besides youtube, twitter, facebook, instagram, linkedin and snapchat . Welp, at least i can fall back on my music career. Theres a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explai
Some of yall are still trying to date during this pandemic which does not sound fun. Now when a guy asks if he can get your number, hes talking about your temperature. 103 . Nah baby, call me after labor day. And first dates are like an interrogation now. You gotta ask questions like do you wear a mask to the Grocery Store . And is your name karen . And if you do make a connection with someone right now and you get married or whatever its gonna be weird to explain that to your kids one day. Well son, i was trying to stay awake in a zoom meeting when all of a sudden, this fine thing appeared in the left hand corner, so we agreed to meet in an abandoned field. Ice . Now i know that one was good what is that . A g . Come on, man. Im gonna start calling you ice cold. Alright this is cool. Me and guillermo have been working on a top secret project and were excited to share it with you. Like i said, im big on tiktok. I have 33 million followers, which i think is all of them. But guillermo do
Been watching a lot of baseball. Im a huge dodger fan. Have you seen this . Because there are no fans, theyre letting people pay have cardboard cutouts in the stands. I noticed the other day our cardboard cut outs had vanished. We thought through every possibility. Were they stolen . Maybe the dodgers had to cover them up, because Clayton Kershaw was getting lost in my eyes. No. Turns out the dodgers had moved us, like garbage. And you know who they replaced us with . And this is, by the way, 100 real. We did not make this up. I turn on yesterdays game and in my seat was none other than guillermo dude, what the hell guillermo i didnt know rob oh, im sure you didnt know. So you get my seat. Let me ask you a question. Have you been on a Network Television show every year since 1999 . Guillermo i dont think so. Rob thats what im saying. This just isnt cool. In fact, i think this is mlbs. I dont want to be all political, but sometimes you have to take a stand, which is why im going to call