Greg: all right, all right. Still it's never enough. It's friday see you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guests. Is so white so white craps. Fox news contributor tom shillue she is so southern she was baptized with mountain dew. Katie mcdowell! ladies would love to try his rocky mountain oysters, chef andrew grewal. And although no longer a cheerleader she is is still commuting by cartwheel. Host of outnumbered emily compiled you all right so before we get to some news stories let's do this. [ ♪♪ ] greg the leftovers. . . Yum. This is where i read the jokes we didn't use this week as always is my first time reading them if they suck we will address joe mott she as a goose and send him to springfield ohio. Today is friday the 13th. To celebrate haitians in springfield are only eating black cats. Donald trump told the new york post that he's done debating we are still waiting for a new offer from his opponent. Cancelled debate is a tough break for nbc who announced their newly chosen moderators. Meanwhile pundits are claiming the vp had an easy aid night having both moderators on her side i haven't seen a 3 owner 1 that disturbing since beside the dixie chicks with corndogs. Given backlash over bias abc denies giving questions in advance instead they just gave her the answers. I know. We are hitting them all. Osama bin laden's suppose it dead son is said to be running al qaeda oh, yeah, we've got a dead guy running the country in your face al qaeda. Scientists made a prosthetic and that feels like your own if i had prosthetic and why would i want it to feel like my own. Tom can't laugh at that as a catholic. Of venezuelan gang has taken over a hotel in el paso, the continental breakfast now has a live cockfight. Spot in miami debuted a robot massage table unfortunately it's idea of a happy ending is sticking a usb cable up your ass. Simulates tech can eat of a real hand like a from an elbow also program to say i'm not supposed to do this but. Taylor swift announced plans to vote for harris she wanted to show she can also make bad choices about women. And indiana first responder rescued dozens of pigs from an overturned so my trailer safely recaptured given medical treatment before arriving at the slaughter house. Couples now get genetic testing before marriage in abu dhabi horrible news for those with hot cousins. We've all been there kathy griffin warned if elected trump will pick off comedians 1 by 1 to protect herself she promises to continue not being funny. Apparently millennial women are throwing themselves success showers are rather than baby are bridal showers to celebrate achievements. Most celebrated achievement? dying alone. Study finds that women have more money to attractive men, no wonder you're broke, brian. A woman was arrested in colorado after tying up her tender date with a knife and ordering doordash and here not she was on a book tour. A study found women prefer 6 to last over 35 minutes, is that over a year asks 1 man. All right to the news so is the media fact checks trump reality fact checks the media case in. 6 changes for illegal aliens in lockup trump brought it up in tuesday's debate. Went out in minnesota letting criminals who kill people and burn down minneapolis raising money to get them out of jail. She did thanks nobody would ever think of and transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison and the especially on harris' face as we say that. As 6 changes aren't for prisoners, they are for schoolchildren. And they can believe it either. Here's the new yorker quote is lion of how the vice president wants a new operations on illegal aliens in prison. What the hell was he talking about. Nobody knows. A really new yorker nobody knows if i know 1 you mean everybody who lives outside your [ bleep ] butthole. And they weren't the only ones who relied on their own it a current says truth trump made [ bleep ] up claiming things didn't exist just because they didn't see it meaning we the people had to do their job for them. Users corrected them pointing out that yes harris did support taxpayerfunded prisoners sex changes in an aclu questionnaire. At least time corrected their error. Well they missed the facts this is a magazine that admitted he let musk from a list of influential people in ai like hawaiian tropic leaving me out of the hottest buns on the beach contest and more digging from our nation's fine journalist covering this clip of her talking about her time as ag defending her courageous effort on don's reading a detainees making sure the change the policies so every transgender inmate in the prison system would have access to the medical care they desired and needed. So they never saw that clip or maybe they did and he said concepts of a plan. You guys watch the debate we now trump feels when he was shot in the year. [ cheering and applause ] and imagine listening to that voice for 4 years. Enough to make you want to knock up your nanny. I just paying for other people sex changes its illegals not just illegals it's inmates it's also detained criminals. What's next we pay for the sex changes of their dogs? i always knew fido was a fiona much like every everything the democrats stand for the media chooses to ignore take her government's running mate. 5 male inmates have been transferred to a minnesota women's prison including 2 convicted pedophiles so as the media per trays him as a defender of women he is shipping male sexual predators into women only facilities. Let's take a look at these stunners how if that's female he is a war veteran why isn't the media calling this a. The modern journalist thinks this is okay these journalists aren't a women's prison and then the problem doesn't exist. As it so small to exclude the many things that affect you. Leaving them the only choice of waking that whirled up whether they like it or not. You know they will hate you anyway might as will vote for the person they hate most. Tommy i love how the new yorker prides itself on its meticulous fact checking and it was at the yahoos on twitter fact checking them it has to be embarrassing but it's not their problem. And they haven't seen it we've all seen it because we are a rightwing twitter training the videos i don't know who hasn't seen the video of harassing wheel of sex change operations for prisoners and trump thought because he's on rightwing twitter with everyone else at the new yorker are in their bubble and never see these videos so when they were fact checking they didn't know about this but then her defenders tried to qualify it then they get into more trouble because they say she wasn't talking about prisoners obviously she laughs exchange for people she will let them out of prison first and then a sex change. It's like you can't get out of it i love how these people always say the same thing they say what man would transition just to get in a woman space that's not going to happen. Have you met any dude? imagine if you lived next to a sorority and said you could live at the sorority but there's a catch you will have to wear a dress a guy will be like okay sure address of razor blades? address a barbed wire like what's the catch? hasn't everybody's seeing bosom buddies at this point i wanted to be that other guy not tom hanks but the other guy and he got tom hanks leftovers so it's interesting is about the bubble thing they don't know about our side but because we are always on the defensive and the media we know our side and their side. We see the rightwing stuff but we also sing the let see the leftwing stuff we do the diligence. We make an effort to understand both sides and what's going on in this country if there is any honesty in politics and in harris her speeches would go like this. I'm a champion of women will. Convicted pederasts who say they women i believe in course rated patios and rapists of every right to the best hormone treatments available and the tippy top in breast, chest implants out there and whatever surgeries there imaginary uteri desire that is their right and duty as america to provide that and pay for that and if she ever had the stones to say that she would face plant like dukakis that's what they believe in go ahead. Greg: how ironic is it the inmate saying dukakis. [ cheering and applause ] i worry sometimes about myself right tom why did i think of that. Owes can assume impressed with the entire speech there but most impressed by her correct latin plural of the uterus. It's because i have 1. Andrew so it is amazing that we've come this far we are talking about something like this and it was interesting the defensiveness of liberals on twitter didn't believe the story was real. What they did was go for his debate performance and picked the craziest things that no way this is out there so they automatically went to this story saying how nuts this is under turns out it was true but this is personal to me not on that level. I get my news from food websites because everything comes back to food when damn scrolling and cbot unite i love this who doesn't want a blt and this story comes up in celebration this was a long story time ago. Blt unite is actually bisexual trans lesbians who are married it's called a blt i don't know whether i just ruined the sandwich or made a better. Greg: i'm going to look at mayonnaise a lot differently now. So actually came across this story and knew about it so i knew off the bat that this was true but this is the grass is blue type of situation what they do is 1 person says the grass is blue than its grain and then they say media said it's blue it's bloom within 2 weeks you start saying grass is green you are a racist fascist everything else in the book. Greg: what do you say. Emily seems it's left to regular people to do the work of journalists at this point. This story never they would've just been happy to call trump a liar on this. Yes, and this whole time it's been up to every day every american to scream reality because we have been gas lit by the administration this whole time and by everyone we've been told what we feel is not accurate. When don lemon interviewed people in jersey and cleveland and they said that's how i feel that's what know what the statistics go i don't care what the numbers show i care about my family and my bank account and experiences and this is an example where we continue to do the work of journalists and live the experience the administration says we don't have and denies. What particularly kills me as a former criminal law attorney when she talks about as a prosecutor when she pats herself on the back for after failing the bar the first and we're supposed to leave in her experience she talks with the transgender prisoner experience i care the biological women's experience in prison the 25,000 reports of sexual assault some prison of biological women. Do you know your taxpayer dollars pays for contraception and all women's prisons why is that. Why do we need contraception to be handed out at all female prisons. You do the mast the fact that she is prioritizing the 1. 2 people who want our talk tax dollars to pay for a 6 operation and won't take knowledge the thousands of women and single mothers in prison suffering meet not fit for human consumption and she thinks were supposed to go down a path that she is a champion for women that's anything but and that is the tip of the iceberg the dukakis tip of the iceberg. Greg: that's a good a block. Up next liberals scream over an funny memes. H the chase mobile. Jen x is planning a summer in portugal with some help from j. P. Morgan wealth plan. Let's go whiskers. Jen y is working with a banker to budget for her birthday. You only turn 30 once. And jen z? her credit's golden. Hello new apartment. Three jens getting ahead with chase. Solutions that grow with you. One bank for now. For later. For life. Chase. Make more of what's yours. It's a video of the day! [ cheering and applause ] we hope the memes never cease as trump protects cats ducks and geese are video comes from the pumpkin painted pet protector known as donald trump is passionate defence of america's furry friends memes 6 ways to sunday and we wanted to share. We are eating the dogs they are eating the cats, 8 the cat, 8 the cat, 8 the cat they are eating the dogs, eat the cat eat the cat. They are eating the dogs, they are eating the cats, eat the cats you're eating the dogs they are eating the cats, eat eat the cat they are eating the dogs. They are eating the pets. Greg: i have no idea if these stories about that eating or falls but the memes are glorious like i say if the democrats ignore illegal immigration in the various horrible crimes stemming from than screw them if they can't take the joke at least a finally has the media's attention as far as eating any creature you get your hand on goes 1 man says don't knock it till you try. And ia firmly believe the is memes don't have to be factual because they have already ignore the facts. We have women getting murdered and raped and the only time you hear about it is on fox you don't hear from them see don't want the facts we will play with the fiction. The genius of the memes other than being highly entertaining make people investigate what's going on in the skit what's going on in springfield ohio with a population of 58,000 people as 50,000 in just a matter of years it's a hardship in terms of education and was speeding in accidents there's like 10 accident today according to the new york post i've had friends who did this very thing and a camp leaves going on in this small town in cleveland, ohio on and on and on in the meantime placing about that debate is weird studied rehearsed and that just her she was doing and the more i watched it and it is like don't you know putting your hand on your chin causes a zits. As a connoisseur of cultural cuisines is it perhaps possible to argue the eating of domesticated animals might be brought over here or is this absurd glee. Historically these are called roof rabbits and they are delicious according to many of the recipes i've looked at you need to use law of berries to cut through the rich it nests of the back kind quarter we don't need to get into the delicacies a cooking roof rat this was an interesting moment in the debate because on 1 hand i think it's glorious the memes coming out of it the content will go on for weeks on the other hand we knew it was coming and they said to my wife when we watched the debate to bring up the roof rabbits the cats the dogs he is going to pounce to use their language and when he does the next day that is going to be what everybody talks about and it's of the equation the media uses somebody goes into a store and they wrapped the restaurant right trump goes the guy came in the restaurant route them and take king money from everybody and then after that i ordered a cheeseburger turned out he ordered a chicken sandwich. So he wanted a chicken sandwich the robbery never happened. And/or the guy came and robbed of the place took everybody's money they go know he didn't take everybody's money he took 18 will be very specific about how may people were up there probably isn't anybody but the new york time reports fatalities from car accidents i didn't know about that to the memes underline the serious art meant about illegal immigration or doesn't a favour by drawing eyeballs to and think about the things that go viral that captivate americans it attention 99point 9% of it is ridiculous what i thought about was the finance, finance, 65 so this is driving people to a larger issue because it's based in reality with open borders overwhelming america's resources in small towns no emergency service budgets as the strain and it's sort of like it if you catch your partner cheating or you are in an argument and say no i was wearing green. I wasn't speeding then it was the forest for the trees but if we are garnering any attention whatsoever on this issue then yes, i am all for and to your points pretty funny they never see the liberals meaning is there a biological reason for it they can't mean they're making fun of trump that he's an idiot but they are talking about springfield, ohio which was trump's goal originally and look at the google searches a springfield ohio and i'm saying these memes were it's like i didn't know the dogs were from the other, ma'am. His career is going well keeping it alive so true and the market is way up and john legend springfield, ohio let them in and people are saying about you let them into your mansion showing pages of his mansion it's the streisand effect. [ cheering and applause ] i bet he would taken 100 haitian migrants if he could unload chrissy tegan. 2 d chrissy tegan. 2 d and up next no more waiting, trump is done debating. I got the power of 3. 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Andrew he doesn't think there is a need for another debate that he did well against biden and harris and the polls have them winning is he right to stop now? if he does another debate he has to take a different approach like an outlandish approach show up in a gym sweatsuit and be a different character have fun with it because they do nothing further polling. All it is our the 2 moderators against trump. Maybe go to the debate and give oneword answers that set. They won't know what to do or say for every single question every topic well why didn't you do it that's it. And see if trump can go an hour and a half without breaking character that would be fun and for the study there was 100% positive it was 93% negative about trump and wasn't going to get a fair shake knowing this could happen again is he right to avoid it or should he seek another venue? has its from the predebate coverage so the odds were stacked against him from the government is now a third debate and then the actual candidate on their side and that would be number 3 and she announced her candidacy after she shoved her way and 54 days hasn't held a news presser but he's out there every day so i don't see any need for another debate he's out there every day all day articulating his policy interacting with americans swells that 8yearold boy liam whose suffering a medical conditions trump is spending 24 hours a day not even just campaigning and what we got with commanderinchief. All it does is show what harris would do i don't need to see another hour of her being a polished turd i would just like to know a lot about that. Tom thinking of polished turd's. And to meta what trump says he thinks he needs another try or oh, he is scared. Now reframing things and immediately after the debate wanted another debate and he says when a boxer loses they want a rematch. The boxer who wins doesn't want to remit she keeps using the word rematch as if he won the debate and he says everyone says he won. You can tell because it was right after the debate he had no time to consult anything and he says although polling says i 1. Greg: i think he should say i should do a debate but a legacy media i wanted in a police where the moderator didn't go to school with the candidate or the kids don't go to the same private schools or they didn't work at the same think tank it's all infested. The rent waffle house letting the lady behind the cash register and getting hit by something. Joys need some hashbrowns. I think he will debate her again i think he's trying to draw her out and go down to play with her a little bit and inflate her ego and puffer up a little bit as overconfidence is like a bourbon anime. There's no faster way for her to fall on her face then become more and more overconfident. You played that clip over with the rally just from yesterday where she was like that. In her own awesomeness hadn't taken a single vote can't answer are you better off than you were 3 and a half years ago. I'm still thinking about how you know what a bourbon anime is like. But we will talk about that during the break. [ laughter ] coming up would you snub a robot rub? well always discreet can hold your biggest gushes with up to zero leaks and odor. So you're not just dry. You're laugh until you cry dry. We've got you, always. Always discreet. It's pods biggest sale of the summer. Save up to 25% on moving and storage for a limited time. 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Is this correct should we be concerned? here's why we should be concerned for anybody using these things you can put on your head to massage nothing feels like a human touch so unless someone shows me a statistic or survey from doctors where it says this will help medical people heal and i say no to the robots nothing is like a human touch that's what we have to visit the elderly and get people hugs rate you can't replace skin unless you are buffalo bill. Greg: gives me an idea sending robots to old people because i don't know what they would do. Thompson emily makes a good point that if you look at art and music in comedy what makes it attractive is that it is created by a human and if you were to listen you think about jokes differently if it came from a computer and in food if it was a robot chef you need to have some kind of human suffering or effort. For robot chefs and comedians as separate he good idea and with the chairs nobody likes to do those tears at the airport putting a dollar in. And ge in a massage this chair. And that that is a great story. And i think that's working. I don't need the human touch you are also a serial killer to be fair you hate humans. Greg: there you go i tell you. The thing about being a standup comedian you explain to the police you can travel as a comedian you travel around the country that's how you cover your tracks killing drifters and hitchhikers. There is some kind of evolutionary reason likely like human achievement because it tells us our reproductive value you can't have that with the sheet a machine. I have some questions why can't you be nude with a robot? greg: in general? it says no nudity, why not. The dangerous and the instructions is a kill switch in case of emergency. I'm old enough to see 2001 a space odyssey and how it isn't your friend. Although and i would take that over the hands that of touched me in miami. That is true. Andrew the chef component in this. Would you rather have an, okay, meal made by a human or the perfectly done meal by a robot or a machine? how much of my paying right. It must be we're just a think about emille made by a machine right. When you are sitting down doesn't change the psychology creek. There's no art to it you can't time the environment so much is about the food and the altitude or the barometric pressure you sewer i went there a robot doesn't know anything about that stop trying to take my job. The description of this and sales package was that it was cold robotic sounds exactly like my wife when i ask for a massage. Also wd40 is building a ky jelly. So it's a good merger there that's disgusting. It gives you a rash andrew. Greg: the bourbon eminent bourbon anime. Greg: up next we answer your viewer mail. Rsv can severely affect the lungs and lower airways. But i'm protected with arexvy. Arexvy is a vaccine used to prevent lower respiratory disease from rsv in people 60 years and older. Rsv can be serious for those over 60, including those with asthma, diabetes, copd and certain other conditions. But i'm protected. Arexvy is proven to be over 82% effective in preventing lower respiratory disease from rsv and over 94% effective in those with these health conditions. (♪) arexvy does not protect everyone and is not for those with severe allergic reactions to its ingredients. Those with weakened immune systems may have a lower response to the vaccine. The most common side effects are injection site pain, fatigue, muscle pain, headache, and joint pain. Arexvy is number one in rsv vaccine shots. Rsv? make it arexvy. [ ♪♪ ] yep you are watching, mailing it in. Greg: what is the most useless piece of information you know? i love this quest and as nothing but useless information. Tom? the ingredients of a bigmac that listen the commercial i can do it backwards. [ cheering and applause ] greg: i just imagine your last victim tied up while you're doing it. My undergraduate degree is in art history so i have weeks of useless information. Just that the shoe bill storck is a bird from the wetlands of central and east africa. It makes us sound prehistoric with its build that sounds like a machine gun. It looks like it will eat your face as well. Greg: don't knock it until you try it. Bananas are actually a very so when somebody says if it's a barry in your pocket it could mean a banana. Greg: really? botanically it's a barry it's a couple seeds with fruit around it. Greg: i will blow my wife's mind tonight. I never knew that. Greg: it's not useless it's amazing you flaunted that test. Emily you talk a lot. But it's always useful. Thank you and i hate this question although i like the person who wrote it. It's because everybody as team 5 won 0 in bar trivia and reigning champions there is nothing such as useless information. Everything is useful because it will come up in bar trivia. Keep the facts coming. Maybe not the bigmac though. Greg: i have so much 1970s bay area sports names in my head. I can go through the oakland raiders 1976, otis, lester hayes , they call me assassin jack tatum, stabler, casper lyle ted hendrickson, whatever. Great guy the greatest punter of all time. Then i can go to the san francisco giants but only the weird name like johnny lemaster and joe strain. The ghaly got his finger cut off using a power saw. Darrell evans for basement and centrefielder, right fielder met a minute parking great guy. Oakland athletics with billy martin the 5 pitchers had all 20 winds and bryan kingman had to 20 losses he was like 20 height and 20 how is that possible? 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(vo) memory and thinking issues keep piling up? it may seem like normal aging but could be due to a buildup of amyloid plaques in the brain. The sooner you talk to your doctor, the more options you may have. Learn more at amyloid. Com. Out of time, tom shillue, dagen mcdowell, andrew gruel, emily compagno, our studio audience. I'm greg gutfeld, i love you america. Trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher. 11:00 pm o