>> greg: all right okay. sit down, sit down! [ cheering ] jesus christ you people. i was out of town last night did anything happen? it is friday you know what that means like most corollas you find him and junkyards, to adam corolla! she's got southern charm and can break your arm cohost of the bottom line megan could dowel. she's offbeat as a 1 armed drummer, host of kennedy saves the world, canady. and he's the original planet fitness. new york times best-selling author, comedian and former nwa world heavyweight champion tyrus. all right calmed down. so how bad was joe at the debate last night? [ booing ] so bad that julie reid lost even more hair. so bad jimmy carter watched the debate and said wow that guy is almost a dead. so bad hillary is already writing her acceptance speech and a joe's suicide note. it's so bad nancy pelosi's face on froze. joe was so bad vladimir putin denied poisoning him. it was so bad joe biden thought st. peter was at the moderator. [ cheering and applause ] were not done. so bad joe biden thought he saw his dead relative and his uncle asked why did you say i was eaten by cannibals. is so bad democrats were in california at a cemetery digging up dianne feinstein. so bad anthony faucher she blamed it on bat suit. so bad rachel levine transition to 2 republican. so bad that a cnn poll found 67% of voters believed trump 1 the other 83% thought they were watching dead apprentice. so bad jerry water number put his colonoscopy bag at half mast. so bad andrew cuomo put himself in a nursing home. it was so bad that abc sent. and so bad call ally harris is worried that ally harris might be presidents soon. the debate is that sealed a joe's fate weigh worse than they could ever imagine they being the media of course but not you, you saw it coming especially if you've been watching this show so while the media pushes the panic button you weren't shocked and the least because we told you the truth. president biden heading to camp david to begin preparing for his debate with donald trump years his car pulling into the camp. as you've heard to prepare for the debate the president has been sequestered since last week he doesn't mind he thinks he is a juror on the oj trial. weer to president is disappearing an entire week to prepare for a 90 minute debate. 's staff defended the move pointing out it takes 2 years to teach a baby to talk. to reduce distraction they declared the debate will have no live audience. only 1 live candidate. >> greg: what if you weren't watching us and watching them? 's here is what the liars were feeding you. >> are you going nuts? >> the reason i came on jimmy kimmel is because i'm hot. >> sir thank you for being here. proud to say voted from dozens of times. i'm honoured to have you here. >> when you sensitive documents you need to flush down the toilet is that done in your office toilet or in the bathroom area? >> you co-opted dark brandon do you enjoy playing around with that name? >> president joe biden: no i resent the hell out of it. >> greg: i haven't seen useful idiots like that since i hired fox and friends to move my couch. so now you know who is been lying to you feeding you a choreographed manipulation of a decayed and dying man. but what of the casual observer. the apolitical american who like millions started tuning into the race at the debate stage. and it's like assuming joe biden was president he's not. finally they see with their own eyes what biden is like must be like running into a once capable friend on the street they haven't seen in years unrecognizable, a drug addict assume he was fine all along but know he's a hopeless drilling wretch. how shocked and horrified must you be and angry. how did you not know? here you weren't just light it to you were shielded from the lie. was a grisly crime scene and when you wonder why they blocked the release of the audio of the her report this is why. they told you he was great behind closed doors. yes if they were the doors to the morgue. those doors were removed last night and it didn't just expose joe it expose all those who covered up the scandal. listen to these co-conspirators. >> start your tape right now because i'm about to tell you the truth screw you if you can't handle it. this version of biden is the best biden ever. >> president biden has a photographic memory. >> he was sharp intensely probing and detail oriented is totally focused they say he sharpened meetings completely possession of his he's well-informed. totally shark that was then this is now. >> is a time for him to step down that window is not completely closed while all of us saw it last night the inability to complete sentences and inability to make easy layups. >> i don't think he's her best choice. >> that was painful i worked for joe by a like joe biden so bad he didn't do well at all. he didn't do elidel. you exit the character it sure conservative media was painting and there were no clips tonight this you saw before your eyes. >> greg: there goes your cheap fake [ bleep ]. and chuckie it was never a caricature nobody painted it it was real the only caricature is you pertaining to be a journalist. the media is acting like a guy needed from an acid trip waking up buck naked waking up to the fact now that joe is unfit to be president where they been what is avon doing. so bad call a couldn't manage it, all. was that a slow start a lot? >> was a slow start but a strong finish what became clear for the course of the night he's fighting on behalf of the american people. >> the only strong finish was in his pants. [ laughter ] joe had a slow start that somehow implies he a started and be there was an improvement but if there was any time she should have laughed at that was then because the joke is on us. even though there's nothing funny about her becoming president. it raises the question. have they lied to us all along was this a set up i will calculated plan to move it to the earliest it's ever been to expose his incapacity and get them out of the way and fast without primary so they could pick whoever they want or did they believe a incoherent dementia ridden men was preferable to trump and didn't care how unsafe it made the country. was that more important did they hate trump more than they loved america. they [ bleep ] us seriously and you should be best. i've asked this question many times if trump is such a threat to democracy a dictator in the making why are they putting up a candidate against him like joe. someone a danger to the country. is this a plan all along leave it to the resident dolt to still hold out hope. >> it's absolutely possible to correct this. moments are fleeting and they arise but i think it can be done it really does. this is about us. and you look at joe biden as the candidate now and it reflects us much more than the other candidate. and it was this continues is a problem and it should not leave us speechless thinking that's over. >> pours sweet naïve mika it's over. [ cheering and applause ] >> stop we are running out of time but you are also careless and stupid for thinking otherwise this isn't about the election it's about right now until the election we don't have a president we know this but so does the whole world. we are now exposed to outside forces including adversaries who realized we are without a leader who is running the country could you honestly say who i can't and whoever it is could it be worse than biden. what if it is if there's anything we learned don't underestimate the democrats. [ cheering and applause ] i can't think of a better guest is to have today then you honestly. witty a make of last night and were you shocked? >> i was not because i watch her show get a variety of sources in the cheap fake sandeep fakes and you weren't edits over anybody on our side of the aisle it wasn't surprising at all. i like that joe is overcompensating by boxing a kangaroo and it was as expected also it's interesting when you see the pundits they do exactly what they just did with covid-19 they say owe it didn't come from a lab came from a wet market you have to wear a mask yelling at everybody shaming everybody or space blah blah blah 10 minutes later it so i knew it all along. know you didn't you lied the entire time and then you flip the script. >> it's the same filter they use for every news story they gaslight us them when they're exposed they say oh, we never said anything like that crazy. >> they lied in the entire time although i do have a way to get biden out of there because he is not going to listen to anybody and now everybody wants amount including his own party. although we need to do is get 3 or 4 of his inner confidants like the closest people in the circle and goat you don't want this guy running for a second term do you and they say no, we don't what can we tell him i go listen. i get the same page when he says running for a second term you say but this is it your second term. >> there you go. democrats we've solved your problem at least adam has. what are your thoughts were you watching it last night in realtime? >> yes, and i will correct you joe biden the president had a cold did you not get the memo without 15 minutes into the debate 2 sources said stuffy nose its way is mouth was hanging open. staring off and there. sneezing and coughing of the brain. started talking about the cognitive decline over a year ago on television being lambasted all americans liver had an elderly relative dementia alzheimer's whatever it is we saw this. as my great aunt was in the same place he was a year ago in her decline when my mother would call me on the phone and say don't leave her alone in the house because she's going to try and heat up suit on -- soup on the so your stove and light the yes with loader there's later fluid or alternatively but the whole can of soup in the radar range and we don't have any more fire extinguishers from the last time she was left alone in the house. >> it's true kennedy. >> what i realized was as she points out. sadly for people who have had family members with memory issues and cognitive impairments the already good days and there are bad days and unfortunately and they become more infrequent -- frequent as receiver president as it's unstoppable a matter what kind of propaganda they throw at us but what i was thinking as i'm watching the debate's entire team he woke up like that they woke up on the worst day and was like holy [ bleep ]. as he was a tempur-pedic mattress with vitamin d peptides whatever stuck in a hyperbaric chamber in a sauna which is what they normally do and they have to bacon with a few days before a big event they unraveled him and he woke up on 1 of his bad days and that that point it doesn't matter if they put red bull into his tiny hole nothing is going to wake him up. >> tire is to think they missed time the drugs? >> it think it ever decided to just to jump to call on the phone and paint pictures for them you be mentally phenomenal. i will never get red bull out of the hiding hole out of my head for the rest of my life. >> greg: it's lyrical. >> some times you have to take time and just submit what was next level. i didn't finish the debate because of a stupid bit i made i thought maybe 1 or 2 gaffes that sit at take a couple shots it was like 17 and it started to hurt. it started to hurt and i understood biden so much better then i understood trump at that point. and full disclosure i knew it was scotch as well it was a mistake out of respect for our conversation. when kamal khera harris came on holy [ bleep ] i was like what she's really evil because there is no laugh and that's when i realized she's been running this [ bleep ] the whole time because she had an answer for everything like he got off to a slow start no worries that's the real all joking aside. and it's there. the 1 thing they got from all this was sitting there between shots 1 and 7 about. shouldn't have this been the fbi and cia picking up phone saying who's been running the country who's been calling the shots it's not him. isn't that the cover-up. >> it is a cover up. >> he is clearly unfit so who's making these phone calls who's having those conversations with dictators across the country and make sense they're out of control doing whatever they want because they knew it we knew but we are crazy but the rest of the world has been carrying on which is why we are in the place we are entering that we don't don't have a president in the white house up next then media must be introducing new advil targeted relief. the only topical pain reliever with 4 powerful pain-fighting ingredients that start working on contact to target tough pain at the source. for up to 8 hours of powerful relief. new advil targeted relief. you know, when i take the bike out like this, all my stresses just melt away. i hear that. this bad boy can fix anything. yep, tough day at work, nice cruise will sort you right out. when i'm riding, i'm not even thinking about my painful cavity. well, you shouldn't ignore that. and every time i get stressed about having to pay my bills, i just hop on the bike, man. oh, come on, man, you got to pay your bills. you don't have to worry about anything when you're protected by america's number-one motorcycle insurer. well, you definitely do. those things aren't related, so... ah, yee! oh, that is a vibrating pain. believe it or not baby... you could earn your... master's... for under 11 thousand! master's degree for under 11k in less than a year. earn your competency - based master's at university of phoenix. sleepy? 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[ ♪ ] now the media admits that joe should call it quits. >> as we speak there is a deep wide and very aggressive panic. >> i think conversations range from whether he should be in this race tomorrow morning to what was wrong with him. >> if you believe what's at stake in this election is what we believe is at stake i would use the word tragically, tragically did not rise to the occasion last night. >> for me watching what happened last night it was terrible. and it seemed about 30 years apart and and he thought he could do this 5 more years in him he has the ability and stamina and strength to do for more years he didn't do that. he did the opposite of that he made them or panicked the people and their exciting it to be better than it was i won't say it's a full-fledged panic but it's getting there. >> i can't leave his people out there to pick a joy read. and i never get tired of these videos my thoughts them over and over again to enjoy it. to already said he's preparing for the second debate and they are saying joe asked to go what happened? and exhausted trying to cover it up over and over again what the american people could see they will continue to be there for the democrats loss for power. they watched all of this for the same reason i love seeing regina george get hit by a bus. for the same reason i love seeing alex forrest get shot by beth gallagher at the end of fatal attraction the hateful psychotic liars just getting their comeuppance nothing more delicious like a chocolate croissant over and over again. [ cheering and applause ] at kennedy do you believe they are that surprised? >> it's like a baby comes out and you're like oh, my god it's a girl and it's like yes, he didn't do an ultrasound you knew you had a 50/50 shot thing is they did the ultrasound they knew they were having a girl saw the baby was penis free but still today joe biden is demented he can't string a sentence together they were screaming about this in 2020 this is the best you have and if that was back when he was like i am a bridge to the future i'm a transition candidate i'm a 1 term president and if that were the case right now they would be throwing him a parade there be wrapping up his presidency gilded accolades to say you are 1 of the best presidents ever now leave they can't do that and he knows it yet so power-hungry he waited just long enough to fall apart knowing they can't illegally get him off the ballot. all their caviar wishes and champagne dreams it means nothing because at this point he has to run. >> he is a 1 term president if the term is alzheimer's. tire is, a dr jill we haven't mentioned her yet she a villain? >> stop it i know why you're jealous i'm jealous to. if you're gonna talk to me like to call dr tyrus doctor got felt we talk about dr biden she hates him anyone who's married husband always goes first husband starts to break down first and really comes down to the husband's lifetime behaviour down the wife treats them when we start to go mask in the wheel my chair in front of a window not the corner don't put me in a corner. please give me some sunlight little sun on my face before i go. she wouldn't even put them in the corner she's willing amount on the streets to america like, yeah, you've got it sure. >> it's amazing honestly i can much d8 me think about this if you're boarding a plane and that was your pilot you would get off >> greg like it was your dog you would know. >> i'd light a cigarette and see you can't smoke and it's like were going into a mountain i'm enjoying myself i have a thought about dr jill biden i think we can take a run with it because dr drew is a physician he doesn't like being usurped by the doctors she writes children's book or whatever nodded that speak into an airplane if you're on an airplane and somebody has a heart attack they get on the squawk box and see if there's a doctor on the flight you keep your ass planted in your seed you're not a doctor that's my rule. >> without a she's definitely not a doctor or he would have been on way better drugs i still believe they were poorly timed slow upfront about 45 minutes and he kinda got a little intelligent. trump we haven't talked about a medal big we don't have to there's a certain point in the first 15 minutes of the debate the trump scanner goes like this this is too easy. he got bored the biggest foot off gas because he was contained very contained put the foot out the yes he got sloppy here and there like you're all terrible we got back to you in from an a minus to a b- is like i've got this anyways. up nex before you consider drastic weight loss measures with dangerous side effects, try golo. 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[ ♪ ] >> 5 words who is going to replace joe now. kennedy a lot of stories about how they are privately discussing replacing biden on the presidential ticket let's assume it's true who do you think is it i hear a lot of names. >> those names are gretchen whitmer go just as may people in nursing homes is andrew cuomo so she should be off the list. gavin newsom as adam can attest has failed in his own state of california parents there have not forgiven him for the covid-19 lockdowns adam is 1 of the few people who is really classed with gavin newsom and it would be a rude awakening if he enters into the national free with media they are the less hospitable compared to the people he come up against but i don't think either are good options at this point. bernie sanders it's like you want a 600-year-old communist running the country we've tried that not a great look what about gavin newsom. he is highly ambitious a sociopath is definitely the premise for american psycho but he wants it. >> he wants it but his pitch to america is i've created the world's [ bleep ] taco stand in california and now i need your help to franchise it. and i am so happy about kemal harris because the whole de i thing affirmative-action thing it's biting them in the ass so hard right now when biden made the proclamation going to be a woman of colour was like don't do it just get the most qualified person riding shotgun with you we're in this plane you've got a pilot and a copilot i want the copilot to be competent and kurt there is an issue a lot of airplane references in today's show 90 of somebody who pulls worse than biden does it's biting them in the ass in good thing they never should have done in the first place. >> dana perino said it was a possibility that michelle obama's name keeps popping up you know why it's popping up because people believe that's the only democrat that could be trump flickering today and it's like she hates politics. >> i would say typically when somebody says since joe biden come a cause you to himself last night. we just marinate in that for a minute. nobody. newsom came up all of a sudden all these democrats are chiming in the ones that didn't are the ones i'm more interested about like where's hillary because recently she resurfaced again. like already ran this and that has the experience and it comes down to joe and his camp who likes to ride this out. and then media at the cover their own ass. and it a media production background spinning earlier today having a teleprompter and a writer this guy is good as any president we've ever had and that's what they will run on and hopefully that will be enough because no matter what won't be the redhaired monster we saw last night the mission doesn't change because i feel like joe biden can do a good job that's all i need to know. >> not based in reality. dagan i like out tyrus described hillary as resurfacing. we'll cycle of blister. just funds up goes away just when something important is happening it shows up it's like god. >> already comparing hillary clinton to herpes? >> no heartbeat. and what you make of the rumours or who do you see it? >> governor pitts curry didn't see the opportunity opening up otherwise he would've made fewer pitstops and dropped a few. and i talked about kemal harris is the 1 who would change between tata ribs know it's jill biden she is in control of all of this. the calder first lady macbeth. all of them put your hand down if you want to keep your hands, shut your mouth if you want to keep your tongue because jill biden ain't moving back to delaware. andy you know who is moving back in won 6 get back to the de, hunter that's come back at she ain't living with him either. until voted out. >> if fx did a series about a. >> reporter: psychic you would be the star. that's a compliment i hear your voice. glycol you could be a character in sons of anarchy living in though it's. ♪ ♪ citi's industry leading global payments solutions help their clients move money around the world seamlessly in over 180 countries... and help a partner like the world food programme as they provide more than food to people in need. together, citi and the world food programme empower families across the globe. ♪ what's considered normal for your cat is interesting. but if your cat isn't their quirky self lately, they may have pain from a common condition called osteoarthritis. now, there's solensia. solensia is a once-monthly injection to control your cat's oa pain. veterinary professionals administering solensia who are pregnant, trying to conceive, or breast feeding should take extreme care to avoid self-injection. self-injection could cause allergic reactions like anaphylaxis. ask your vet about solensia and help get your cat back to their normal. if you have wet amd, you never want to lose sight of the things you love. some things should stand the test of time. long lasting eylea hd could significantly improve your vision and can help you go up to 4 months between treatments. if you have an eye infection, eye pain or redness, or allergies to eylea hd, don't use. eye injections like eyla hd may cause eye infection, separation of the retina, or rare but severe swelling of blood vessels in the eye. an increase in eye pressure has been seen. there's an uncommon risk of heart attack or stroke associated with blood clots. the most common side effects were blurred vision, cataract, corneal injury, and eye floaters. and there's still so much to see. if you are on eylea or a similar type of treatment, ask your retina specialist about eylea hd today, for the potential for fewer injections. >> you are watching mailing it in. here's a good question from archangel what would you like to change in this country if you were chosen as president. we've all thought about it. kennedy? >> thank you for asking greg i would end at the fed, abolish the irs and dismantle the departments of energy, commerce, and education. adam? >> it's like nick cage said on air. obviously we have an arrow nautical theme going tonight. i would do all the things kennedy knew her when she was a virgin. >> he was my boxing instructor. i would do all the things she just said and nationwide campaign making sure they know it's okay to turn a right to honour red. my work would be done if i could do that. tyrus? >> you still all my answers. for first responders and veterans i would wave taxes i think they've paid enough. i would do that. term limits as fast as i could. we need term limits to get these [ bleep ] out. >> any department of government that kennedy doesn't abolish. everybody has to work from home and we will raise every building in washington except the capital because it's beautiful and bring farm equipment and we will make it a party and rip it all down. >> she reminds me of my stepmom. >> greg: and a good way or a bad way? >> both. >> greg: i would return to the original meaning of the second amendment and get rid of a lot of regulations so i can carry a large gun in new york city. also death penalty should be everywhere. also for just anything i wanted. just a very vague generalization wouldn't be consistent. sometimes you kill somebody i would be for the death penalty but if you make an insult to me on twitter you get the die. that's why i shouldn't do you want your kids to eat healthier? but they just want sweets. force factor kids super chews can help. created by the number one superfoods brand in america. force factor kids super chews are packed with healthy vitamins and are absolutely delicious. find force factor kids at the walmart vitamin aisle today. [ ♪ ] tyrus find that finally time for some final thoughts any thoughts on trump's performance what you think in general? >> as i explained in the beginning by the end of the debate my face was numb and i saw he came back out to speak and i was like [ bleep ] i'm sick i can't do this. the filling in my stomach was i felt played while the american people like there's serious questions about the so-called media we have they would mislead the american people all the statements we heard medlin going about how awesome he is all his people should be brought thought front and centre to explain this. we need to ask more questions about what's going on in the white house. adam we say it's unfair to joe biden but also unfair for us honestly. >> the format help to trump honestly they should have figured it out because trump when he messes up it's playing to the crowd do much is interrupting too much the basically removed his bad habits essentially just said let's take away the booze and cigarettes and put them out there sober a suit and he came across well because of the format. >> he works better when he's contained not limited to just he can't indulge his vices in a steel that for the 5 what did you think about it. is making negative productions about the hosts and if you like i was wrong that jake dana did okay what did you think? >> the format was fine they were fine nodded it's a huge comp mentor anything but it was fine trump i like the facial expressions last night from downtown if that could be possible with all that went on. i am frightened to death what the democrats will do they are ideological who think they are smarter than everybody else and they will try to stay in power at all costs. >> kennedy final thoughts? >> first time in a debate we've seen the candidates actually go under time i thought that was fascinating when it was like east of of 82 seconds please answer the question trump would do it and still not answer the question but talk about what he wanted to talk about and biden would be like and then mumbling and then he went to a funeral and we killed medicare and dana bash we go just thank you and try to save him. >> we beat medicare. >> i left when trump was like i don't know ways doing this. you think i want to run for president again what is wrong with you. i thought that was so very authentic moment to like you doing such a bad job it's like when your mom is to wake up late at night like i want to be asleep right now but i have to look at your red eyes when you come at the door to in the morning. >> a quick thought when they review the debate they will talk about biden also say trump wasn't great either. actual performance is irrelevant 1 candidate was vetted went through a primary process was challenged by worthy competitors and he got the nomination that didn't happen with biden he was protected and shielded. >> and glad the story is where it needs to be it's on biden no, my denture's uncomfortable! dracula, let's fight back against discomfort. with new poligrip power max hold & comfort. it has superior hold plus keeps us comfy all day with it's pressure absording layer. time for a bite! if your mouth could talk it would ask for... poligrip. ava: i was just feeling sick. and it was the worst day. mom was crying. i was sad. colton: i was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. brett: once we got the first initial hit, it was just straight tears, sickness in your stomach, just don't want to get up out of bed. joe: there's always that saying, well, you've got to look on the bright side of things. tell me what the bright side of childhood cancer is. lakesha: it's a long road. it's hard. but saint jude has gotten us through it. narrator: saint jude children's research hospital works day after day to find cures and save the lives of children with cancer and other life-threatening diseases. thanks to generous donors like you, families never receive a bill from saint jude for treatment, travel, housing, or food, so they can focus on helping their child live. ashley: without all of those donations, saint jude would not be able to do all of the exceptional work that they do. narrator: for just $19 a month, you'll help us continue the life-saving research and treatment these kids need. tiffany: no matter if it's a big business or just the grandmother that donates once a month, they are changing people's lives. and that's a big deal. narrator: join with your debit or credit card right now, and we'll send you this saint jude t-shirt that you can proudly wear to show your support. nicole: our family is forever grateful for donations big and small because it's completely changed our lives and it's given us a second chance. elizabeth stewart: saint jude's not going to stop until every single kid gets that chance to walk out of the doors of this hospital cancer-free. narrator: please, don't wait. call, go online, or scan the qr code below right now. 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