Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon join jimmy and his guests bts. Chris colfer stanley cup champions the tampa bay lightning. And featuring the legendary roots crew and now heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy hi yeah, hey thank you very much. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, i hope everyones doing a little better after last nights president ial debate my only wish for tonight is that you laugh at these jokes as much as joe biden laughed at president trump. [ laughter ] so you didnt what about the question i will say sir jimmy ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, h ha, ha, h ha, ha, ha [ laughter ] jimmy after last nights disaster, trump and biden both confirmed they will appear at the next debate. Meanwhile americans were like, yeah, you guys have fun with that. I cant believe theres two more of these. Its like getting Food Poisoning at chipotle, then trying to
Jimmy well done. Research shows people who take hiv treatment every day jimmy are you happy . Yeah. And a good audience, by the jimmy you look like you way, too and get to and stay undetectable were serious can no longer transmit hiv through sex. Oh, i didnt all those all those screens nope. He has there these next two are grandparents serious side effects can occur, jimmy see your face. Including kidney problems and kidney failure. What i know. I think we think theyre but but you know what im pretending to because grandparents rare, lifethreatening side effects either way, theyre super cool just want to include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Jimmy yeah its called the garage door hi, gary challenge. Do not take biktarvy you want the ball . They created a drinking game using their garage door to if you take dofetilide or rifampin. You want the ball . Go go raise money and awareness for tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, hey, guys, we have a
Musical guest brad paisley and the legendary roots crew its the tonight show at home edition. And now, heres jimmy. Jimmy hey, everybody welcome to tonight show at home edition its me, jimmy fallon saying hello, and thank you so much for watching on a wednesday night. The week is halfway over, its basically thursday so, you know, good job, everybody. Way to staying home. Way to wear masks. Were doing the right thing, were flattening that curve. Come on, we got this, guys lets go its wednesday two more days . Come on, we got this, right . And then the weekend is here yeah, which is basically what today feels like anyway, it doesnt matter. Lets start with some jokes. How about this, im excited about this, my guest tonight is new York Governor Andrew Cuomo [ applause ] oh, my goodness. I called Governor Cuomo yesterday and i said, hey, man, you busy tomorrow . And he was like, not at all. No, not doing anything right now. Im actually yeah, kind of bored. I need stuff to do yeah, i definit
[ laughter ] yeah [ cheers and applause thank you, wiping down doorknobs, for making me a group of sheep in northern realize for making me ireland recently crashed through realize that before i cleaned the window of a local bank and you, a total sorry. Wandered around the office thank you, wiping down when asked how many sheep were doorknobs, for making me realize that before this, i in there, the Bank Employees cleaned you a total of zero times. Fell asleep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, selfquarantine, for teaching me things i didnt [ cheers and applause know about myself, like how im unable to resist the urge to eat 12 cans of peaches thank you, cats on demand, and finally, a woman in North Carolina recently celebrated her 100th birthday by for now being on demand. Having herself arrested to in these crazy times, finally fulfill a lifelong dream a dose of sanity [ laughter ] [ cheers ] said police said the police, finally, thank you to all the tt maam, we would have done it w
Dead. Super tuesday was like Easter Sunday for joe biden who staged the biggest come back since Robert Downey jr. He won ten states, including texas and massachusetts where he wasnt expected to do well. He now has more delegates than any democrat and biden revealed he is also the banana on the masked singer, so thats, it wasnt all great news for yoe. Immedia the very first moment of his celebration speech was marred by this. They dont call it super tuesday for nothing by the way, this is my little sister valerie, and im jills husband. Oh, no. They witched on me. This is my wife, this is my sister. They witchswitched on me. Jimmy i hope they dont mix up the hotel room keys, because oh, boy. It was a locker shocker of the bernie sanders. A lot of people waited until the last second to decide, it was like a wedding ceremony on love is blind. In california, lines were, some voters here in los angeles waited three hours to vote, and if im waiting in line for three hours, i better get a pope