That was really good. Oh, yeah. All right. Its friday, so you knowat what that means. Lets welcome tonights guest. Letshes the only one on the l who still looks like his yearbook picture. D oh, said the guy. Benson show guy benson. If only his jokes were as sharp as his razors. Werenvin and founder of wester razor company, david angelo. Lo shes like a pothole. When shes on the street. People are always trying to avoid her. New york times best sellins to and fox news contributor, him. And finally he trims his beard with a grazing flock of sheep. New york times best selling fothor, comedian and former nwa world champion. All rightr bar. All right. Before we get to some newdo thi stories, lets do this. Gregs leftovers. We had its leftovers where i read the jokes. We didnt use this week. E and as always, its my firsts we time reading them, so theyeken o force joe mackey to eate a bucket of mayonnaise with his toeso pu. All right, so during the state of the union thursdayp night, President
somebody in power will say something true and is swiftly punished for it. can t have that. it s infuriating to watch, but it s also if you look at it right, fear him using. these are not sophisticated deceptions for this is not dwight eisenhower planning. this is your five -year-old telling you he never touch the birthday cake. if you re human, you will laugh cake? what cake. it s hilarious, the kid has no idea how he relates ticketless years. with that spirit in mind, we ar going to devote the next hour a a special presentation on lying in american politics for it we will stay are best to stay amused because that s much better than being angry. we re going to start with what could be the funniest lie of th year. vladimir putin blew up natural russia s natural gas line to europe. why would they do that? because he s evil pray t so evi he murdered his own country s economy for the thrill of doing it. that s evil, it takes a bad man to declare war against himself. next he will
hand. wax off, left hand. jesse: eventually the time will come when we know that person is ready to take over. show me wax on, wax off. jesse: when barack obama s time was finally up, it was time for joe biden to become the sensei of the democratic party. he had to bring in somebody new into the dojo, and chose kamala harris. why? because she shatters. you ve shattered so many barriers, and did it mostly on your own. and thank you to president biden. [laughter] you can judge a strong man when he has strong women around him. ha-ha-ha. jesse: joe put kamala to work right away. fix the border. we ve been to the border. we ve been to the border. you haven t been to the border. and i haven t been to europe. i understand the point you re making. jesse: he presented a new task. he tried to make her a diplomat, and sent her on her first mission. we defend the plan. jesse: kamala liked simpler things. here s the thing, who doesn t love a yellow school bus,
hbo original series, real time with bill i all right all right. well, thank you very much thank you. very much. read this three that i think we ve gotten know why you re excited today. the supreme court has made a ruling, a good ruling. hey, i got one right. i said if you like your abortion pills, you can keep your abortion pills that s right we re talking about talking about the morning after pill actually there i guess somebody was it s considering actually getting rid of that, but no, they said, look, we took away roe versus wade, but we obviously need something where we can abort a child and when they said that they were looking directly at lauren bowlby means i course there was a dissenting opinion on the court. it was delivered in the customary, usual way. judge alito s wife made a flag about it i grim pride. yeah. so they got one, right. that s good. but then the same day we find out clarence thomas have been following this story. clarence thomas takes a lot of gif
package and it s this new child tax credit which is really revolutionary. it s very, very popular. 70% popular with the american people. what is the thinking behind this big kickoff this week to promote it nationwide? well, look, we are still in the midst of this pandemic, and we know that we can t get out of our economic crisis until we get through the health crisis. so the thinking behind the american rescue plan is that we need to address the problems caused by the pandemic. part of it is is to help get the vaccine eggs and get the shots in people s arms. we recognized since the beginning of the pandemic we ve lost 9.5 million jobs and we ve got over 4 million people who have been unemployed for at least a year. people are struggling and one in five adult renters are behind in their rent payments and millions of adults and children are struggling to eat and put food on the table. so it s important that the federal government provide the resources that people and business