That was really good. Oh, yeah. All right. Its friday, so you knowat what that means. Lets welcome tonights guest. Letshes the only one on the l who still looks like his yearbook picture. D oh, said the guy. Benson show guy benson. If only his jokes were as sharp as his razors. Werenvin and founder of wester razor company, david angelo. Lo shes like a pothole. When shes on the street. People are always trying to avoid her. New york times best sellins to and fox news contributor, him. And finally he trims his beard with a grazing flock of sheep. New york times best selling fothor, comedian and former nwa world champion. All rightr bar. All right. Before we get to some newdo thi stories, lets do this. Gregs leftovers. We had its leftovers where i read the jokes. We didnt use this week. E and as always, its my firsts we time reading them, so theyeken o force joe mackey to eate a bucket of mayonnaise with his toeso pu. All right, so during the state of the union thursdayp night, President
Yeah, i know. I know. I know. You missed us. Do you . Happy ev sitting here . I get it. Happy wednesday, Everyonere Sobe joe biden had a big wing on super tuesday. He woke up. I mean, consider the alternative. But the president did lose American Samoa and he foundi out. He said its a shame. I really like their cookiereall meanwhile, donald trump when 14 and one losing only vermont. Permont has a population of over 645,000 people. Or, as trump calls them total losers. Ni nikki haley has suspended her president ial campaign after a series of supei r losses. Sses she got 46 delegates compared to trumps 731, and she still called it a success. Proving once again, woment do cant do math. Oh. Oh. Up. According to a report, the Biden Administration is secretly flown 320,000 illegal aliens to 43 airports. Joe claims to have a lot in common with these people since t dont speak english either. E Charles Barkley said he would punch black people in the faceny for wearing trump mugshot tshirts. Wock
Time time time time time greg yeah. Did you ever wonder how local news becomes national . It napped montgomery, alabama. A cityowned river boat tried to dock in its designated spot along the water front but a pontoon boat was mored there they asked the pontoon owner to move but when they were asked to move the owners were happy about it at all and then this happened. Mind you what youre about to see is disturbing. So if you have children in the room, punch them hard in the face as a diversion. Get out the way [screaming and yelling] greg well, thats disgusting. Appalling. And when im disgusted and appalled, i need to see more. Oh, new angle. Check the two guys in the water, make sure nobody drowns. Hey, hey, hey oh, my god that hurts. And then more people jumped in to defend the guy and it turned into quite the melee or what the irish call, friday night. But its what the rest of us might call just plain good tv which explains how this quickly went from a local story to a national one.
[cheers and applause] greg thats all me thats my fault. My fault. All right, all right, all right. Happy wednesday, everybody. Tomorrow, both President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump head to the texas border to duke it out on americas current migrant crisis. The sad part is only one of them will know where he is. [laughter] the other will think hes on a beach in delaware during cinco de mayo. For bidens part, this is only the second time hes been to the border during his presidency. The other time it was to pick up a package for hunter marked baby powder. [laughter] of course trump has been to the border numerous times, and its obvious why hes been talking about it for years. It just took forever for everyone else to catch up. The truth is that trump, that terrible knuckledragging vulgarian who they love to hate, shows he knows the pulse of america better than his opponent, who may not have a pulse himself. I know. Too far or not far enough . Sure, trump is a billionaire,
Indictment so lame and overtly political that its guarantied to galvanize every trump voter like funnel cake at a stock car race. Theres less meet on this indictment than a you are i can carcass in joy behars trash can. Stelter has a better chance of winning a wet tshirt contest. Dont Bother Reading it i can summit up for you. Donald trump disagreed with the election outcome. Oh, you thought there would be more . Sorry, these are democrats, they dont have to work hard when the media gives them cover and yes there is a second part, to forget about the hunter and joe show. Make news to conceal the real news. Yes, the doj and jack smith apparently believe that trumps Thought Crimes are more insidious than the International Racketeering gang known as the biden clan. Instead they chase Thought Crimes and if Thought Crimes were fromable we would all be screwed. Kat would be on death row complaining about wearing orange. But, see, we dont do Thought Crimes in this country. This isnt canada. T