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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

That if you really wanna be you y you gotta do what you wanna do wanna d he was unhappy cause he just wanted to play ball unh but he finally got the courage ourage to answer his hearts call just like me all i ever wanted ver wan was to sing and dance andc and now that i stood up for my dream i finally have the chance have te all you gotta do what you wanna do even if other people othp dont really want you to even if other people othp true girl you know its true that the thing you want to do you wan is the thing that you should do that some kids think im strange s cause i like studying for an exam yinga but i dont let that bother me me because its who i am its and i like Nothing Better than nothin making fun of jews un ofe and ripping on black people g on though some people think its rude th all do what you wanna do just make sure that what youre doing is whats cool and popular with everyone else chew baby chew and chew. D. Hey, br ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

Im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is a bestselling author and shes a breakout star from the democratic president ial debates, Marianne Williamson is joining us, everybody cheers and applause also on tonights show, guns are back in the news. The new hot vacation trend and do you like corn, doesnt matter youre going to be eating a lot more of it. Lets catch up on todays headlines. War hmm. Good god, yawl. What is it good for . According to china, hitting back at the u. S. We begin with escalating trade war with china and the growing concern about its effect on the u. S. Economy. The United States is officially labeling china a currency manipulator, accusing the nation of deliberately lowering the value of its money to sell goods cheaper and gain a competitive advantage. China also delivering a blow to u. S. Farmersers, announcing it has asked stateowned firms to stop buying ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

And she finally appeared to me and told me that her husband, edward, had broken her neck out of anger. Thats what happened, you guys. That is what happened. And the judge is like, ill allow it. Everybody, i allow the testimony of a ghost to be allowed into the legal court documents. Order, order, everybody order so he hits the gavel. The jury deliberates for an hour and ten minutes. The jury foreman comes back and is like, despite any concrete evidence, what we did hear is this ghost testimony, and were buying it, and because of that, this guy is guilty. They dont have any doubt. The judge is like, hes sentenced to a life in prison. And mary jane breathes a sigh of relief. [relieved sigh] [bleep] finally. This is the only known case where a testimony from a ghost helped convict a murderer. Thats so insanesounding. [laughter] never felt more insane. [fantasmic opening by bruce healey] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. chee ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

The dead. If you send emojis, it means youre in a gang. And donald trump is a harry potter expert. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Headlines. Trevor lets begin with climate change. Its the gradual disaster that will eventually wipe us out if we dont take it seriously. Think of it like oatmeal. You wash your bowl right away, no problem. But if you leave it in the sink, by the time you come home, you will have a new roommate. laughter and if the world does end, theres one group you cannot blame, scientists, because they keep warning us every single day to wash out our bowl. Chilling warnings out in a new report that says, if we want to save the planet, we need to change what we put on the table and how we produce food. About a quarter of Greenhouse Gases in the last decade came from food, farming and land use. Think about it this way, half a pound of beef causes as much Gre ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

Ladies and gentlemen, miss Angelina Jolie and ge hello, everyone hello captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Comossibl from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out oh, yeah oh, i can feel it im trevor noah our guest tonight is here to talk about the new amazon docuseries free meek meek mill is joining us, everybody cheers and applause so excited. Also on tonights show, we meet a president whos come back from the dead. If you send emojis, it means youre in a gang. And donald trump is a harry potter expert. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Headlines. Trevor lets begin with climate change. Its the gradual disaster that will eventually wipe us out if we dont take it seriously. Think of it like oatmeal. You wash your bowl right away, no problem. But if yo ....

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