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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

[slurred] the most famous herth. On the world. This horse is on the front page of the New York Times. How many [bleep] horses do you know that are on the New York Times . Because of oskar, psychologists now know people give off subtle physical information. To this day, that is known as the clever hans effect. He was like, there was. [grumbles] like, dump. Dumper. [snores] [snoring] [snoring continues] [mumbles] morning. Shabahbahwah. Shabahbahwah. Yeah. [triumphant music] [stately music] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from comedy stralts world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the dale hee show, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in tha for coming out, lets do this thing, im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is one of the greatest rappe ....

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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

I am lorde yeah, yeah, yeah and so it is with great pride that i can announce the student body has elected to get rid of the transgender bathroom and give any fellow student the right to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable in. [ cheers and applause ] i dont want to use the girls bathroom if anyone can use it its gonna be all crowded anyone who has a problem sharing a bathroom with people who might be transgender will have to use the special designated bathroom designed to keep them away from the normal people who dont care. Hey where do you think youre going . To the bathroom. Oh, no, you dont. You got to use the cissy bathroom. Well, go on, cissy [ lock clicks ] [ claps ] [ vivaldis spring plays ] wow. This is pretty nice. Feelin good on a monday got my space, all the freedom i need yeah, yeah, yeah by myself yeah, yeah, yeah captioning sponsored by Comedy Central live from
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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

Focused on three stories, america versus iran, Migrant Children at the border, and the latest supersmash brothers release, the democratic primary race. laughter yes. My favorite move is the joe biden death mas sabling. Even though those are the main stories, there are tons of other stories happening in the news. The truth is we just dont have the time to talk about them. Luckily, not enough time is just the right amount of time for a segment we call aint nobody got time for that. cheers and applause all right, lets kick it off with student debt. These crippling College Loans are the reason that youre probably watching the the daily show right now, using your neighbors wifi. laughter but there could be a new way to become debt free just dont pay. All student debt gone in six months. This is a new plan proposed by senator bernie sanders, the college of all acts would create a ....

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COM The Daily Show July 14, 2024

Come on, man. Whatwhathow much more well, what happened to them after derderek, dont say nothing. Yeah, i just want to get what itstheyre in siberia. Theyre blasting flares out. Ptoo ptoo they dont even have food, or sprites. And then, after 30 hours, they fi [bottle thuds] finally they got rescued. [triumphant music] you wouldnt even believe it. [chuckles] oh theyre just some lunatics that said yes to an experiment. Cosmonauts, astronauts, any kind of naut. Did, yes. The nauts yessed. The nauts said, why not . [laughs] where dawhere da where da button . Where da button . [patriotic music] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out im trevor noah our guest tonight is a a former daily show correspondent, now appearing in the rook on starz olivia munn is joining us. Olivia munn is joining us, everybody cheers and ....

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FOXNEWSW The Greg Gutfeld Show June 23, 2019

His name is george washington. George is at 100 is no way im going to get there no matter what i tell you. Oh, man, what about the wall . Is it moving along . The wall is moving along, its moving along rapidly. Its beautiful, stronger, bigger, better and cheaper, sometimes when they dont give you the money, you to make it cheaper. Its true, do we have to pay . You pay for the very distinct privilege of not having to pay, but you had to pay a lot. Now you dont have to pay anymore. I have no idea what that meant. [laughter] but i ask, do you need a magic wand . You need a magic wand to bring back manufacturing, well, we will tell sleepy joe that we found the magic wand. At least he has brilliant talented campaign people. We have a lot of brilliant brillianttalent campaign people, they cost a fortune and they never give me any ideas, im only kidding. You know hes not kidding, it makes you wonder what country youre in. Maga, maga, we are in maga country i can tell you. I can tell you maga ....

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