Have you . You you wIll all be mIne tonIght. Happy monday, everyone. Okay. Democrats supporter IdentIfIed as ryan ruth was arrested for tryIng to assassInat aree Donals Trump on a Golf Course. ,whatever happenedsa. AskIng If you can playough through It seems IT Would be assassIn was able to gett jut just a few hundred yards away from trump. Apparently the shooter found the only Golf Course wIth a Slanted Sand Tra tp. Too soon. As You Know, thIs Is the second tIme trump has survIved multIple You K shots and accordr to an expert, hell just need for more lIke that. ImmedIately, pundIts trIed to blame It On trumps rhetorIec regardIng sprIngfIeld, ohIo, but the accused shooter wasntsh. We know thIs because he wasnt eatIng a Cate Accur W now youre loosenIng up. He needed a catch to get started. Of course, the medIa claIms the motIve cats of the Trump Hag Suspect are unknown. But thIs Is stranghee. Hares campaIgn has already asked hIm to moderate the next debate Is stra. Thankfully, the would
[ ] greg: you will be a mind tonight. Happy monday, everyone. Democrat support are identified as ryan routh was arrested for trying to assassinate donald trump on a golf course. Whatever happened to asking if you can play through? it seems the wouldbe assassin was able to get just a few hundred yards away from trump. Apparently the shooter found the only golf course with a slanted sand trap. Too soon. As you know this is the second time trump has survived multiple shots, according to an expert he will just need four more. Immediately pundits tried to blame it on trump s rhetoric regarding springfield, ohio. But the accused shooter was not haitian, we know this because he was not eating cats. Now you were loosening up. You needed a cats joke to get started. Of course the media claims the motives of the trump painting suspect are unknown. But this is strange, they have already asked him to moderate the next debate. Thankfully thankfully, the wouldbe assassin it is now in custody and t
Its, i mean, poor al roker. Every year, hey look, its garfield. Oh, the teletubbies. When i was a kid, my dad would wake us up. Every thanksgiving, hed come into our rooms. The only time i ever remember him coming into my room, hed come in and say, the parade is on and wed be like, who cares . I hate parades. Always have. To me, its just traffic with balloons. But every year, my father would force us out of bed at like 6 30 in the morning to watch it. And so what did i do on thursday . I got the kids, i said hey the parade is on youve gotta watch it they watched for about four minutes. They saw chase from paw patrol and said, put on paw patrol so i watched it alone. Macys did the parade a little bit differently this year. Because of covid, they couldnt have the usual amount of people under the floats. You know, people hold the ropes to the floats, but they couldnt assemble a group of people, so they had to find one guy to do this. This troop of picachu, dancing to the classic pokemon s
New Restrictions Mean for you . Were going to break down what will stay open and what has to close. Tonight whael explain why some entrepreneurs would like the governor to make a decision quickly. Also a vaccine in reach. Tonight whos on the governors priority list. And what about kids . When will vaccines be approved for them . We answer the questions that many parents are asking. This could be our last hurdle before the finish line but its a big hurdle and might last for weeks. The new stay at home order is likely. It could start by midmonth and all hinges on how many icu beds are available in each county. Once the county dips below 15 capacity, that triggers a threeweek stay at home order. Heres where the bay area stands right now. Most counties you can see are hovering around 30 . But look at Santa Clara County its at 17 capacity. Sonoma county in rough shape, less than 1 capacity. It has only three icu beds remaining in the entire county. Today the governor broke the state into fi
And fuhaul does a thorough job removing all the related garbage. So call fuhaul today. Remember our motto get em out of here announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight plus, stephen welcomes Matthew Mcconaughey and cedric the entertainer featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Ill get right to it, bad news first. The president is actively working to undermine our democracy, usurp the will of the people, and hold onto power, in violation of our constitution. Good news he is really bad at it. The president is desperate to somehow throw out the votes for biden, but like Everything Else in his administration, its been a race between autocracy and incompetence. And with this crowd, incompetence is usain bolt, who makes it across the finish line, steps in a bucket, and gets his head stuck in a toile