look at that. all right. shut up! knock it off! here's to may's for jimmy kimmel. meanwhile here's what you're missing on colbert by watching "gutfeld!." >> ♪♪ come with me and you'll see in a world of reconciliation it's our sole remedy except for peer intoxication ♪♪ >> greg: that's not a comedy show. his show is becoming so sad, i have to watch old yeller to cheer up. our show is different. look who we have on tonight. emily compagno. boy, did she get into the swing of things in nashville. >> thank you. oh [bleep] only about five more stops. locking the door. >> greg: you don't stop at the hotel bar when you get off the flight. you go straight to the hotel. kat survived another night on the town. we have a heck of a time getting her back into the hotel room. thanks for the help. the bravest man i've ever seen. kat, stop mixing tequila with red bull. i'm also glad that your family made it to the show. if we have a picture. i knew those new no bail laws would finally come in handy. joe mackey is here. good to see he made it. my panel. finally there is tyrus. he is here tonight. here he is. here he is enjoying a night on the town. not getting the deposit back. to the news. the center for disease control is at it again. yesterday these bozos issued urgent health advisory for pregnant people to get the covid vaccine. it was so urgent they forgot there is a name for what kind of people get pregnant. to them it's not pregnant women. it's pregnant people which includes men as well as women and probably some woodland creatures and a box of frogs. we are supposed to believe that these are medical experts, right? joe biden is more of a doctor than them. how did he completely erased the biological differences between men and women. i have done that but never intentionally. i was at a party. i didn't see the adam's apple. because of the height difference. think about this. what if you were a hard core feminist who worked in a decade fighting for the rights of women, like gloria stein or andrew dice clay. after you've made all this headway, you find that the word woman is considered offensive. yet now anyone can get pregnant, right crazy lady? >> people get pregnant and not just women but i hear people over and over and over again say women get pregnant but that's excluding people that should be part of the conversation. >> greg: she's talking about pregnant men because that is a thing. i'm sorry. a guy should never be confused about whether his cramps are from labor pains or the chili he ate. please remove your jockstrap before it snaps the gynecologist in the face. it's not on you or me. it's on the cowards, bureaucrats, experts, the media so scared of being called out on twitter that they happily throw an entire gender under the bus. we better not offend the activist class. it's not women who can get pregnant but men too. let's say people. if men can't get pregnant, what can women do that they couldn't do in the past few hundred thousand years, right? hey, ladies. don't forget to get your prostate checked. please turn your head and cough. the only good i see coming out of it is that men will finally know the pain of childbirth and women will finally know that getting hit in the balls hurts a lot more. thank you. i can't wait to give birth. i have to find out where i put the umbilical cord. i think it's in the drawer where i keep my cable chargers. the woke aren't just going after women. they are coming after your ponies. "my little pony" to be exact. finally some horses they do like. remember those animated jerks, the color of pepto-bismol and the charm of a head wound. the latest new generation of the "my little pony" movie stages of political awakening about tolerance, prejudices and even fascism. the kind of hijinks that kids really love. if your kids want to be in antifa. apparently the wokeaholic's are coming from all sides. aimed at turning you into mindless, docile drones. >> hi, new friend. >> unicorn attack! >> icu. i see you. >> greg: i think i killed a million brain cells. a million more and i could work at cnn. the enlightened scout crash is a demonstration led by defensive weapons manufacturer because defensive weapons are wrong unlike all offensive weapons which i assume is joy behar's voice. too cruel for gitmo. an eclectic team of progressive youngsters to fight misinformation. worse, worse, talk about cultural appropriation. who are playing these ponies? people, not ponies. i thought this was 2020. he went to pissed off "my little pony." >> vanessa hudgins is not a pony. i will sue everyone. >> greg: sorry about that. it may be the show should have come with a trigger warning. trigger warnings. remember how big those were, written warnings to alert students in problematic material. not talking about a will wool speedo. now researchers find that trigger warnings don't lessen negative reactions. instead they can make it worse for people with ptsd. will that put an end to trigger warnings? of course not. they will issue a trigger warning for a trigger warning and then they will be a trigger warning for a trigger warning for a trigger warning which makes sense. for one thing, everybody should get a trigger warning before they see this. ♪ ♪ my eyes. let's welcome tonight's guests. the court asked her to stop leading cheers during death penalty cases. co-host of "outnumbered" emily compagno. he's as relaxing as underwear filled with ice water. comedian joe machi. her husband believes in good communication, like mouthing the word "help." fox news contributor kat timpf. and pickup trucks are his flip flops! my massive sidekick and the nwa world television champion, tyrus. joe, good to see you. >> joe: good to see you. >> greg: i love the shirt. no members only jacket. >> joe: it's too hot in this town. >> greg: i expect to see you shirtless by the end of the show. when you decide to become pregnant, joe, do you plan to get the vaccine? take the advice of the cdc? >> joe: greg, if i could make a -- how i reproduce why when i pick pregnancy over binary fission? eat a lot more food that i get so fat i split into two. >> greg: you gain weight and then you divide? >> joe: yeah. and the catering trade too many trips. i think that the story tells us that we are going to have to come up with our own animated pony propaganda at this point. everything is becoming political. >> greg: exactly. fox news has to come up with its own "my little pony." >> emily: i would love to be a pony. >> greg: you're almost there. i have to be careful about what i'm about to say. isn't it hard to take advice? the cdc. how can you take medical advice from people that denied biological reality. people complain about people being skeptical about vaccines. listen to these idiots right now. they are poisoning their own messaging. >> emily: there's not enough time in the show to play montage of them going back on what they said. so yes, absolutely agree they lost their credibility. can we go back to "my little pony." >> greg: sure. why not. it's your show. >> emily: exactly. they ruined what was the best thing ever. "my little pony" was the best thing ever. their tagline was love and friendship. what you need more than love and friendship? a political awakening about tolerance, prejudice, even fascism. once again, literally the narrative they are pushing is that the most dangerous thing in your neighborhood is that patriot flying the american flag. never mind social media companies eroding your child's sense of self-worth or the elected officials keeping big tech companies protected while they mine your data or cyber hackers stealing your finances are china invading us at every turn. none of it matters except for fascism in the form of ponies. the most important thing i learned in that article is that the plural of pegasus is pegasi. >> greg: what is unicorn? is it unici? kat, were you on "my little pony" fan? >> kat: i could answer that but i'm not going to. instead i would like to have a chat. in your monologue, you called me a booze bag. as usual, you like to show the video. that was an alligator, not me. made fun of my family. none of it is true. i have actual footage of your actual family, your sister and her husband in nashville. they are behaving very badly. they are alone on the dance floor and they are air drumming ferociously. nobody air drums in the state had at least 17 beers beforehand. look at this. the air guitar. a whole air band except the instruments aren't there. no one's on the dance floor with them. actual family. look at this. vandalism. vandalism. that's your sister engaging in vandalism of this very bar. call it whatever you want with your fake videos but it looks like you hang out with the booze bag senior you're from a crime family. >> greg: by the way, that was actually my family. their daughter kept sending me these videos. final word to you, tyrus. you've got kids, lots of kids. i'm sure you have stepped on a few "my little ponies." >> tyrus: i have stepped on a few kids. i'm a horrible parent. i make my kids watch what i like. looney tunes and the three stooges. my daughter is working on this move. don't really have time for my little woke pony. we will stick to giving your best friend a dynamite stick and blowing him up. as a parent, first of all, i'm not sure what that means so i'm not going to have my kids doing. those shows are boring because they take all humor out of it. we have "my little ponies" but we also have jurassic park. guess what happens to the my little ponies. they get to your ex-ed in the middle of nowhere. leave the kids alone. >> greg: leave the kids alone. that's a message. up next, fauci keeps calling the shots for the haves and have-nots. one of my favorite supplements is qunol turmeric. turmeric helps with healthy joints and inflammation support. unlike regular turmeric supplements qunol's superior absorption helps me get the full benefits of turmeric. the brand i trust is qunol. so many people are overweight now, and asking themselves, "why can't i lose weight?" for most, the reason is insulin resistance, and they don't even know they have it. conventional starvation diets don't address insulin resistance. that's why they don't work. now there's release from golo. it naturally helps reverse insulin resistance, stops sugar cravings, and releases stubborn fat all while controlling stress and emotional eating. at last, a diet pill that actually works. go to golo.com to get yours. go with simparica trio it's triple protection made simple! simparica trio is the first and only monthly chewable that covers heartworm disease, ticks and fleas, round and hookworms. dogs get triple protection in just one simparica trio! this drug class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions, including seizures. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. protect him with all your heart. simparica trio. >> greg: get ready for more pain in the arm from this major pain in the ass. dr. anthony fauci moving the proverbial goalpost. he changes the rule more than a democratic governor before an election. political humor, emily. you guys don't do that on "outnumbered." in april fauci said that two doses were plenty but now like kat at an office party he says the more shots, the better. three shots will be the optimal regimen. fauci is more into needles than your average porcupine. a new study out of uc san diego found that three layers may give you the most protection. any more layers and you turn into a burrito. if covid doesn't make you a 68, will. are we all going to triple mass? >> nothing can happen to me. >> greg: i have no idea. i wish i was in the ideas meeting. have joe put on three masks and then we would blow him up. so better than anything on tv. tyrus, i'm wearing three masks right now and boy, do they chafe. it does make sense because you're talking about obstruction. three is bigger than tube four is better than three. it's the operating logic of the wall. >> tyrus: let's get six minute abs. let's see how smart the audience is. what would be better than six minute abs? i can work for the cdc, abcd. that's how the meetings go. we screwed up. defunding the police didn't work. changing everyone's name to people is not going over as well as we thought. all we have left is to tell people if you're vaccinated, you're good but if you're unvaccinated you're the devil. but we all have to wear this same protective gear. my mother used to do that. i am older. why do i have to go to bed the same time as my brother and she would say if you want a new daddy, you need to go to bed now. [laughter] >> greg: that's awesome. >> tyrus: we can go home now. >> greg: emily, the mask thing i'm totally fine with that it reminds me of a netflix membership. you have to keep renewing it. isn't that what vaccines are? you have to renew it every couple years, like tetanus or smallpox or in your case, rabies. >> emily: the interesting thing is how quickly it came. the messaging come from the white house initially was everyone run and get it was resoundingly shot down at that time by the cdc and now it's okay, 55 and older. 85 and older, whatever. everything changes by the hour. on the mask thing, and took a study to do that. obviously if droplets are flying at me, the more i wrap around myself the dryer i will be. i didn't understand why that was supposed to be some type of breakthrough point. >> kat: i didn't read the study. sodom not wearing three masks. >> greg: there's been research. mommies don't get covid. the problem with this and triple masking. masks are the new cigarette butts. they are all over the place. choking dolphins and turtles. killing turtles. >> tyrus: do you know how hard it is to swim with a mask? pretty [bleep] hard. >> kat: turtles and straws. now i can get a straw anywhere ever. fauci also said people, even if they're not getting hospitalized, we have to prevent them from getting sick at all. why? if you're not dying, going to the hospital, serious stuff. he wasn't even talking about that. he means shut down society. i don't enjoy being sick. it sucks. i complained about it the entire time but even someone like me, saying that we just have to shut down society so i don't have to have the sniffles? i'm not wearing three masks. i'm not wearing too masks. i love being in nashville and seeing so many faces. >> greg: it's true, joe. joe. being here in nashville, instead of new york where i see you in the office, i forgot how beautiful your mouth is. >> tyrus: don't answer, joe. >> joe: that was a weird complement. it cheered me up. i thought the answer to tyrus' question was one minute abs. i'll tell you what. i'm not listening. fauci has change the rules more than kat during a game of scrabble. i will tell you this. israel is one of most vaccinated, one of the most lockdown countries, they have the most booster shots and it hardly has made a difference with an sweden has done the least of it. seems like the vaccine has more breakthroughs than the incredible hulk's pants during an argument. i'm going to listen to my doctor and make my own decisions. >> greg: yeah. the problem with that logic is i'm his doctor. [laughter] anyway, we've got to move on. next, the sparks merry-go-round is not for those with extra pounds. and rescued his nose. with up to 50% more lotion puffs bring soothing softness and relief. a nose in need deserves puffs indeed. >> greg: if you live at the chocolate fountain there shall be no to them. an amusement park in australia which seems redundant is accused of fat shaming people. employers have been asked to stop yelling crikey, your fat. self-serve weigh stations that flash green or red. with its red, your to fat through ride. you big folks know how short people feel about those embarrassing ride requirements. i am tired of people measuring me before i get on the subway. was stations were added the comfort patients. the policy has boomerang with lots of aussies upset. we went to one for comment. >> shameful you would kick people out for being too big boned. shout out to joe mackie tonight. i heard you've been keeping catering busy. >> greg: got a thing for pockets. the show is against fat shaming. we are more about health. we set kat timpf out to explore a new exercise option in nashville. >> kat: i've been searching for a fitness plan that fits into my busy career woman lifestyle. in nashville i found the inspiration to create my own. i need to bring in clay travis. you started some business. your nashville guy. will you help me get kat-aton up and running? >> if warren buffett were here he would want to invest immediately. every bachelorette wants to get insanely drunk but not super fat. >> kat: women can have it all. >> i just want to let you know you're going to be sweating by the time you finish. vodka pretty much. >> kat: but will i care? >> if you have enough alcohol everything feels better it. >> kat: that's going to be the name of my memoir. half your friends are gym friends and half our bar friends. this is the way to bring them together. >> a perfect idea. >> kat: new business idea. peloton but with alcohol. what do you think? >> fabulous. it will work. i was going to say we should get a drink. >> kat: watch me doing what? do you think this would be a good option for a pregnant woman? i do not. >> kat: why not? the alcohol probably. how far along? trying to get the baby out? go for it. >> kat: knoll. what's your official doctor's opinion of my fitness idea? >> i'm not a doctor. >> kat: what are you doing? i just paid you to say that your doctor. >> i am a nurse. >> kat: nobody asked you. the people have spoken. this is great. thanks to clay travis and my brilliant business brain. >> i'm excited to -- excited for you to be really rich. ♪ ♪ musical >> greg: i don't think you could do that in new york city. you'd be too busy running over people passed out on the street. >> kat: you couldn't do that in new york city at all. i was confused by the whole story with the australia amusement park weighing machine. i thought australia, wasn't it completely locked down? but you get arrested if you go to the bar but there amusement park weighing machines are open? that doesn't make sense. >> greg: joe, how do you feel about the weighing stations? is it amusing to you? >> joe: i am a celebrity so i don't have time for way stations or eye contact or tipping. as someone who's had more seconds than a motion to recall gavin newsom, even scarier for people who ride the roller coaster. apparently too much weight is dangerous. >> greg: [laughs] yes. >> joe: roller coasters, australia. >> greg: tyrants. >> tyrus: it's a great idea. we used to tell people. your big known when you're in line. it says 225. you know if you're not to 25. usually would be summoning a family going you know you can't ride this. shut up, mom. we used to be able to handle it. at 14, i was 6'6". i wasn't getting on roller coasters anymore. i knew it was over. when i was 300 pounds, point of pride, i am too big for this puny human stuff. we were able to see the truth. now everyone lies. the scale says 360 but i identify as 125. so now all you lying chunky buffers, you step on the scale. green, you're in. red, your fat. sorry. >> greg: that's the way to tell people maybe they should lose weight. maybe it's a positive thing. bring them to the amusement park. it's a long journey to australia but it might be worth it. >> emily: i was in the nfl cheerleader. you want to talk about fat shaming? australia, hold my beer. everyone loses than mine over the wrong point. i would rather be embarrassed than dead. that ride is where you hang in the sky. you're too fat to hang from the sky from a machine, please keep your feet on the ground. >> kat: you could kill someone else. >> tyrus: i saw a commercial that said we have body equality. no, you have an excuse for people not to go work out. that's all it is. it's not body equality. you're. sorry. sorry, ma'am. or sir. i think i can speak on this. >> greg: coming up, is expressing your angry self good for mental health? an 2) definitely higher. (man 1) we're like yodeling high. [yodeling] yo-de-le-he... (man 2) hey, no. uh-uh, don't do that. (man 1) we should go even higher! (man 2) yeah, let's do it. (both) woah! (man 2) i'm good. (man 1) me, too. (man 2) mm-hm. (vo) adventure has a new look. (man 1) let's go lower. (man 2) lower, that sounds good. (vo) discover more in the all-new subaru outback wilderness. love. it's what makes subaru, subaru. i've got moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are getting clearer ♪ ♪ i feel free ♪ ♪ to bare my skin, yeah, that's all me ♪ ♪ nothing and me go hand in hand ♪ ♪ nothing on my skin, that's my new plan ♪ ♪ nothing is everything ♪ achieve clearer skin with skyrizi. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. of those, nearly 9 out of 10 sustained it through 1 year. and skyrizi is 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. ♪ i see nothing in a different way ♪ ♪ it's my moment so i just gotta say ♪ ♪ nothing is everything ♪ skyrizi may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms... such as fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches, or coughs... or if you plan to or recently received a vaccine. ♪ nothing is everything ♪ talk to your dermatologist about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save. ♪ ♪ >> greg: should you repress your anger like a wimp or let it spin out of control like a timpf. fights breaking out in stores. me chewing out my assistant for not flossing... my teeth. doesn't anybody do that with their assistants? it seems like people are angrier than ever. if you disagree, we can take this outside. in minnesota new station explore this trend and at least one therapist reported seeing more people in her anger management classes. most of them were women who'd been rejected by joe mackie. most experts agree anger isn't necessarily as bad as long as you express it in a healthy way, like the sky -- this guy. >> hey, joe, here's your iced coffee. where is the sugar? how many times do i have to mention the sugar? how many times? this can't hold me. i got it last time. i'm going to tell human resource about this. >> greg: kat. i've been pretty lucky that i don't have a reputation for a quick temper. people know that i am a level guy. >> kat: it depends what medium. you are not a yeller but you do the skating emails. >> greg: that's it for you. you're dead to me. emily. we have a opening when we get back in new york. the emotion that you get out of it, it's a high but afterwards he regretted. >> emily: i am sicilian. i never regretted. i see this also is a reflection of present day. everything is short-term gratification. everyone is chasing this dopamine hit. getting lakes and it will become -- getting likes. she said the anger was 100 years old. that was one more thing to push the narrative that all of this is a reflection. these things we should be angry about. when you walk down the street in manhattan, all it takes is a half a second for anger to erupt. i feel like i am joining in. walking from home to work every day, i get out. get out of my way! hurry up! >> greg: you do it very cheerfully. two, four, six, eight, please would you stop masturbating on my lawn. that is new york city. tyrus, you are working security. you're a bodyguard. you were a bouncer. how did you deal with angry people? >> tyrus: i was very levelheaded. i had a left and a right. my favorite thing about that sketch that we just saw is angry joe sounds the same as happy joe. sad joe. a well-balanced man. >> greg: [laughs] >> tyrus: we are all repressed because if you're angry and you say it, you just stay in the moment and you move on from it. you keep holding it and holding it. something like tap water when ice have bottled water! it caused you to go off because every time you want to speak your mind, someone is going uh, uh. >> greg: it's like water. it finds its own way out. joe, i heard you're very, very mean, short tempered person when you're away from us. is that true? >> joe: what did you say, gutfeld? [laughter] greg, you are known as the anna wintour around the office. when you raise people on participation trophies and you can do no wrong and everything is instant gratification, the second the barista says we are out of pumpkin latte, they get punched in the face. >> greg: they were out and it's almost halloween. all right, up next, jimmy failla. you'll get great value on america's most reliable 5g network. like 2 lines of unlimited for just $27.50 a line. that's our everyday price. plus, our plans always come with unlimited talk, text and data included. so, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $27.50 a line. that's half the price of verizon or at&t. only at t-mobile. the leader in 5g. qunol is the number one cardiologist recommended form of coq10. qunol has 3 times better absorption than regular coq10. the brand i trust is qunol. >> greg: sense of style is always on point. it's something no one has ever said about him. it's true he makes hobos look like sharp dressed men. give a big round of applause for our friend, comedian jimmy failla. >> you guys. i love nashville. it's the only city we can answer every question with whoo and everyone knows what you're talking about. exactly. this is a party town. i was driving home. a cop stopped me. are you drinking alcohol? no. here you go. handed me a six-pack. it's cool to be here. it's hard to be a comic. for us right now, people are treating jokes like hate crimes. everybody is obsessed, they are changing the language. i'm from new york. you can't even call a pervert a pervert anymore. you have to call them governor cuomo. but i'm saying, and i don't do a lot of politics in my act. the only advice that i would give you from experience, never buy a used car off elizabeth warren. i had a buddy in massachusetts, sold him a red jeep cherokee. turned out to be a white suburban. but i'm telling you. i know we are trying to be a nicer society but a lot of the things we are doing in the name of political correctness or hurting us as a people. a study that 40% of elementary school kids are obese they are not doing anything about it because they don't know their obs. they don't know. that's what happens when you eliminate bullies. back in the day, every one of those fat kids would've known they were fat. they would've went on a high-protein diet and turn their lives around but no, now we have a nation of 7-year-old man boobs. for real. i was the beneficiary. i was fat as a kid, weighed 300 pounds. i did something about it because i knew i was fat. the minute i got out of the car, you fat slob. how much did you eat today, you disgusting animal? all right, mom. see you at 3:00. nobody turns it around anymore. the only upside to the fat kids is kidnappings are down 94%. you can't get them in the car. it's a crime of speed. can you imagine being a kidnapper? kid, get in the van. kid: does it contain peanuts? any high fructose corn syrup in a mars bar? it scares me because i feel like with all of this woke stuff we are raising a fragile generation of people and that scares me because america is in the ass kicking business. we'll have a military in 20 years. just call me an infidel. i am not fighting today. hate has no home on this battlefield, mister. i'm from up north. people like to make fun of southern rednecks. i thank god for rednecks every day. you guys. you're the only ones raising tough kids anymore. if isis shows up tomorrow, you're not calling hudson, hopper, zane. your calling bobbi jo, bubba, and cletus. they are going to take out isis using rifles they got for their tenth birthday. thank you. that's how it's going to go down. the redneck babies are going to take on isis and the hipster babies are going to battle the evil forces of gluten. you're amazing. i'm jimmy fila. have a good night. you rock. >> greg: all right! jimmy fay law everyone. we'll be right back. people everywhere living with type 2 diabetes are waking up to what's possible with rybelsus®. ♪ you are my sunshine ♪ ♪ my only sunshine... ♪ rybelsus® is a pill that lowers blood sugar in three ways. increases insulin when you need it... decreases sugar... and slows food. the majority of people taking rybelsus® lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than 7. rybelsus® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't take rybelsus® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop rybelsus® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. taking rybelsus® with a sulfonylurea or insulin increases low blood sugar risk. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. wake up to what's possible with rybelsus®. ♪ please don't take my sunshine away ♪ you may pay as little as $10 per prescription. ask your healthcare provider about rybelsus® today. >> greg: another great show. we are out of time. thanks to emily compagno, jimmy failla, kat timpf. tyrus. thanks to our studio audience. i'm greg gutfeld. i love you, america, and nashville. ♪ ♪ >> hello and welcome to "fox news @ night." i am mike emanuel in washington for shannon bream tonight. breaking, late night on capitol hill as the future president biden's legislative agenda hangs in the balance. the democratic divide overspending only deepening while the white house is left to try and cover for it. >> has the pre