Really have a star on the walk of fame until someone dressed as elmo throws up on it. And that happened on tuesday i cant wait to take my grandkids to hollywood boulevard someday and say see where that meth head is break dancing . Thats right on top of your grand daddys name i need all the victories i can get right now, because next month theres a pretty good chance theyre gonna give my emmy away to someone else again. Im nominated for lead actor in a comedy series, and these are im the least favored to win. And look, its great to be nominated and all, but the truth is i dont do this for the awards. I do it for the money. Ive been nominated for my role on blackish six years in a row. Havent won. Im 0 for 6. That means ive had my same acceptance speech. Seember 25. Ch imyck, for x ng s and now its time for america to finally hear it. Guillermo . Announce me. Guillermo just a second and the emmy goes to mr. Anthony anderson what . We did it we did it we did it, mama, we won, oh, my god.
Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Tiffany Haddish. Jurnee smollett. Musical guest orville peck and shania twain and featuring the legendary roots crew and now heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy oh, hey thank you very much, everybody welcome. Thank you so much. Welcome, everybody thank you so much. My name is jimmy fallon. Welcome to the tonight show. Lets get to the news and jokes, please. Well guys, tonight was the first night of the Democratic National convention. It was pretty different from what weve seen in the past. An unprecedented Democratic National convention will begin at what will be an almost entirely Virtual Event the party will officially nominate joe biden and Kamala Harris to lead the president ial ticket. Jimmy yeah, it was the first night of the virtual Democratic National convention because nothing quite fires up americans like long speeches over zoom. [ laught
Announcer tonight, on late night with seth meyers Jeff Goldblum. Star of Schitts Creek, actress annie murphy writer and comedian, sam jay featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and now, Seth Meyers Seth hows everyone doing tonight . Last night, my mask shook me awake and asked, are you ever going to wash me . Former Vice President joe biden announced yesterday that senator Kamala Harris would be his best friend i mean, running mate sorry, sorry i get attached too quick a force of habit President Trump tweeted today that former Vice President joe bidens pick of california senator Kamala Harris as his running mate is, quote, the kind of opponent that everyone dreams of. Said, pence, oh, im not allowed to dream of other women. Im often im often vexed. President trump also tweeted today, quote, the suburban housewife will be voting for me. They want safety and thrilled i ended the long Running Program where lowincome housing would invade their neighborhood. Biden would reinstall it in a b
Saying, is he all there, is he all there . And i proved i was all there because i aced it. I aced the test. And they said a female president would be too emotional. Once a month shell go crazy, they said. Could you imagine . A president who only goes crazy once a month . But without a crazy president i wouldnt be here so thanks trump tower moscow. This year has nsy ienatse. An. This year has been president ial. I started this year doing a late night set at a pizza place in jersey city. Now, here i am hosting a late night show in a vacant house. Actually, the number of people in the audience is exactly the same. Ive never hosted a late night show before so i did a Little Research and i figured out the 3 things i can do to look like a late night tv host. Number one, the point. Number two, the hand clasp. Number three, the look im explaining something. Whos ready for a deep dive on Voter Suppression . Im also excited because for the first time ever, i have my very own sidekick. Guillermo,
Back to norway. I used to host a late night show myself called lopez tonight. Its been a few years, but they say hosting late night is like riding a bike. We do it because weve had too many duis. Well, i have. Were going to have a lot of fun here tonight. Well, i know im going to have a lot of fun. For all i know you saw my hair and changed the channel ten seconds ago. This hair is something new for me. I decided 59 was the perfect age to start looking like a West Hollywood brunch waiter. I went to my barber and said i want to look like a cross between danny trejo and justin bieber. Brown skin and blond hair. This is what we in the Latinx Community call hedging our bets. People keep saying i remind them of someone, and i finally figured it out. Im a cross between walta mercado, and a troll doll. Just so you know, i didnt actually dye my hair. I got scared, because my postmates guy showed up without a mask. Mayor garcetti just said that los angeles may face another stayathome order. A s