Run for mayor of dildo. They dont have a mayor. They dont seem to want a mayor because theyre not having an election for mayor. But local polls show me leading 5248. Bad news is i am leading no one by 4 . I dispatched an advance team. They went 4,000 miles and led by close and mosttrusted adviser guillermo, we will hear from him in dildo moments from now. This is the time of year when we offer people walking past our studio the floppertunity to take their clothes off. We have a pool in the back of our theater. Memories are just waiting to be made. This is the 14th summer, 14 yearsi years ago, a mysterious voice told me, if you build it, they will flop. And we did. Lets go to cousin sal, sal, by the way, i want to mention, [cheers and applause] has his own show on fox sports 1 called lock it in, a sports gambling show. Theyll probably cancel it. Jimmy your gambling problem paid off in a big way. Have you found someone on the street we can bet on . I have. Lets bet on some bellies. Jimmy
[ cheers and applause ] jimmy very nice. Thank you. I appreciate it. Oh, very nice. Hi, everybody. Im jimmy, i am the host of the show. Thank you for watching the show, thank you for joining us at the show. We are in hollywood where were still wet. The rain finally let up today, but its coming back. And its cold. It snowed again today. There were snow flurries in santa monica. Which is so crazy for us. And it rained a lot last night. Last night, i dragged the garbage cans out to the street. It was i felt like one of the soldiers in all quiet on the western front. [ laughter ] really a heroic act. It was harrowing. I said to my wife, you know, womens History Month starts tomorrow. I think it would be a cool thing, maybe a great message for our daughter and for equality, if you dragged the garbage cans out. [ laughter and applause ] then she showed me one of her fingers. [ laughter ] womens History Month started as womens history week in 1982, and then someone thought, hey, women should
Lou from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live. Tonight, Billie Eilish and finneas. Whitney cummings. And music from grace potter. With cleto and the cletones. And now, jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there, im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us on a very important day of Online Shopping here in the united states. Its october prime day on amazon, exclusively for prime members which is everyone in the world. Its not to be confused, october prime day, with multiple other prime days. This is a twoday event, and i want to say theyve got great deals on some musthave items like a pickle that yodels. A cat scratcher shaped like a tongue. A pa january yeah goose. A piece of plastic pork. And a delicious can of spam maple flavor. I dont want to give hints but those were make some excellent Christmas Gifts for you know too. Guillermo i know who, yeah. Jimmy joe biden spent his october prime day trying to figure out where the hell this woman
I. Gilliam im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us. The world is a mess. The country is a mess. Some of you are a mess i see here. Well you know what . Were trying to clean it up. We still dont have a speaker of the house, which Means Nothing can get done in this country. Even less nothing than the usual nothing that gets done in this country. Republicans took a break from fake impeaching joe biden to nominate Steve Scalise of louisiana to be their next speaker. Scalise beat out jim jordan in a closed door session, and now well spend a night in the fantasy suite with matt gaetz to see how it how they hit it off. The House Majority chose scalise by a vote of 113 to 99. Its still unclear, though, if he has enough votes to win the speakership because that would require republicans to accept the results of an election thats really not their thing. You know, its especially Steve Scalise who still is denying that biden won the election. Hes an interesting pe
Lou from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight Billie Eilish and finneas. Whitney cummings. And music from grace potter. With cleto and the cletones. And now jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi. Welcome. Welcome. Hi, there. Im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us on an important day, a very important day of Online Shopping here in the united states. Its october prime day on amazon exclusively for prime members, which is, everyone. In the world. [ laughter ] its not to be confused, october prime day, not to be confused with the multiple other prime days. This is a twoday event. And theyve got some great deals on musthave items like a pickle that yodels. [ laughter ] a cat scratcher shaped like a tongue. A banana goose. Plastic pork. And a delicious can of spam maple flavor. I dont like to give hints, but those would make some pretty fine Christmas Gifts for you know who, guillermo. Guillermo i know who, yeah. Jimmy joe biden spent