I. Gilliam im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us. The world is a mess. The country is a mess. Some of you are a mess i see here. Well you know what . Were trying to clean it up. We still dont have a speaker of the house, which Means Nothing can get done in this country. Even less nothing than the usual nothing that gets done in this country. Republicans took a break from fake impeaching joe biden to nominate Steve Scalise of louisiana to be their next speaker. Scalise beat out jim jordan in a closed door session, and now well spend a night in the fantasy suite with matt gaetz to see how it how they hit it off. The House Majority chose scalise by a vote of 113 to 99. Its still unclear, though, if he has enough votes to win the speakership because that would require republicans to accept the results of an election thats really not their thing. You know, its especially Steve Scalise who still is denying that biden won the election. Hes an interesting person that Steve Scalise. He was one of the biggest gun supporters in congress. But then in 2017, remember, he was shot and seriously wounded at a congressional baseball game by a man carrying a legally purchased assault rifle. And when he recovered and he came back to congress, he knew that nothing like what happened to him should ever happen again. So as his first act, he introduced House Resolution 2481 that required all Baseball Players to carry ak 47 seconds in their protective cups. And its an inspiring story. Theyll make a movie about it one day. So next, probably tomorrow. Scalises nomination goes to the house floor. So if you see a white smoke coming from the capitol rotunda, it means theyve either picked a new speaker or Lauren Boebert is vaping again. Speaking of smoke, the first us state to allow sales of medical marijuana at regular pharmacies will be georgia of all places. Sorry, colorado, youre asleep at the wheel. Its georgia starting soon. Drugstore shoppers in georgia will be able to buy their fiber gummies and their weed gummies at the very same place. And if you thought the line at the pharmacy window was slow before, wait till its going to be very interesting to see something that has been illegal for most of our lives, been taboo, suddenly available like walgreens. But even though it isnt on the shelves quite yet, one local shop in georgia is ready to go at top health pharmacy. Weve cared for your family for more than 55 years from head colds to skinned knees. Weve been there and now for the first time, we carry all the weed you can eat. So stop by and try our new selection of cannabis products, then wander mindlessly through our aisles, maybe pick up a 5 pound bag of reeses Peanut Butter cups and eat them all in your car. Oh, look at those cotton balls. And whats that thing . Is that a decoration or. Whoa why is that cashier staring at me . You think hes a cop . I got to get out of here, man. It is way too broad. I need some air, like, right now. Top health pharmacy. Its scary in here. Well heres some more good news for those who partake. Weve got one less password to scribble down and forget where we put it. Google yesterday announced that Effective Immediately entering a password will no longer be their default way to sign in. Passwords will be replaced with pass keys. Its easy for people to lose a password, so google decided to replace them with something we never lose. Keys google is also amping up security on the im not a robot checkbox from now on this thing, itll be a three part system starting with the usual im not a robot. You check that and you get im really not a robot. And if you click that, youre on too. I swear im not a robot. Please just let me watch some before my wife gets back from her book club. Heres a fun game. This is a game thats for our studio audience. But you can play it at home, too. Ill put up a headline. You try to figure out in what state it took place. Okay. The story here we go. Sausage flinging, racist, arrested for attack on gas station attendant. Can you guess the state. Its almost as if we rehearsed that. But thats right. Its no state does racist sausage flinging like florida. They call out a Broward County brunch in fact but what makes it that especially remarkable is that the following story did not take place in florida. Rather, it happened in michigan. The individual was found to be naked in his car, pleasuring himself in the parking lot. Not one, not two, but three different men doing the same creepy thing in one week, all in dearborn heights, one caught on camera for what the is he doing . Harold pegler and his pup buttkiss walking in hines park, where one of the three men was caught in his car door open naked, masturbating on monday. Sounds like one of those tick tock challenges, harold with a stroke of genius investigator, are actually looking into his theory that some kind of online forum is encouraging guys to pleasure themselves. Specifically in dearborn heights. One of the three has been arrested a block from Annapolis High School last week, caught with meth and a cucumber. And a tiktok challenge. How do we go in less than ten years from the ice bucket challenge to the with math in front of the playground challenge . Its and ill tell you something, its such a crazy story. You almost forget the guy has a pup named butkus. You know, sometimes i learn things from doing the show. And today i learned that apparently ive been washing my jeans the wrong way. According to the ceo of levis, we should not be putting our jeans in the washing machine. We should instead wear them into the shower. And for real. He said this. You youre supposed to wash your jeans in the shower. I barely even wash my legs in the shower without the idea. Is that cleaning your jeans while you shower is good for the environment because he uses less water than throw them in in the laundry. I dont think hes thought this through. Have you ever tried to take a pair of wet jeans off david blaine couldnt get out of a pair of wet 501 demo. Have you ever heard of anything like this . No, nothing like that. You have not just checking to see if youre awake. Everyone. Speaking of bad jeans, Sarah Huckabee sanders is trying to huckabee her way out of her first big scandal as governor of arkansas. And as far as scandals go, this one is a doozy. Governor Sarah Huckabee sanders is facing a potential legislative audit over the purchase of this podium. According to online records, with transparency arkansas. Gov. The amount owed to Beckett Events llc was 19,029. 25. I think the process just wasnt as clean as it should have been. Again, its been reimbursed by private funds and nothing was paid for by taxpayers and that was the error on the front end. Sanders and her staff have been accused of spending more than 19,000 on this is a class d felony in arkansas law to fudge public records. But if you remember seeing her playing fast loose with the facts and she was press secretary for trump, you know that fudging is sarahs passion. She is some call her the honorable fudge, judy. In fact, lets have another look at that lectern. Its it is sexy. I have to give her that looks like 19,000 well spent. You could buy a town in arkansas for 19,000. You know, it could use a press secretary like Sarah Huckabee sanders. George santos, who is now facing 23 criminal charges. Just to give that some perspective, the btk killer only had ten charges against him. Santos has been indicted on charges of conspiracy, wire fraud, falsifying records. And the most photoshop ever used in a single headshot. Hes he just told them, keep airbrushing until i dont have a nose. When news of this latest round of indictments broke yesterday, santos, who was in congress all of a sudden got his 10,000 steps in quick comment. I was i did not have access to my phone. I is a fraud at the american public. What are you resigned of . What you guys talking about . No, i will not. Excuse me. Only jorge santos would say no access to his phone while he is on that very phone. But go on. You stole peoples identities. Did you steal peoples identities . Did you give an identity . Are you going to vote him speaker . What do you have to say down constituents . I will not. I have no comment. I was in conference like everyone else without my phone. So i have nothing to talk about. I need to take a look at what did you commit with a pretty basic question. Did you identity that is no. Are you okay, sir . Yes and now hes got an assault charge to this is snowball. Now, one of the more interesting charges that santos is going to have to face is an allegation he charged his own donors credit cards without their permission. Did you charge to your credit card donor his money . Did you use their credit cards to reward yourself . Thats the allegation. No. I will look at it. And why . Why should we be able to vote in the speakers election . Such a key election when youve been charged with all these crimes . He slams that door a lot, which is funny because i dont know if you noticed on his way in there, hes got a sign that says, yes, were open. Not any more. I guess its good. He should get used to being in a confined mind space because the prison walls are closing in. His former Campaign Treasurer pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit fraud, and his fellow republican congresspeople in new york just introduced legislation to expel him for obvious reasons, santos has been dodging reporters, but we think we might have tracked him down. And hes if we could. Yes, there he is, congressman santos, is that you . Is congressman santos, thats you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Miyamoto. Gloria stefan. Okay, well, thats our gloria. Whats with the costume youre wearing . That is the costume. Its not a costume. It happens to be National Hispanic heritage month. So thank you for being an insensitive white diablo. Im so. Im insensitive. Youre the one dressed like speedy gonzalez for no reason. Are you trying to flee the country . Is that whats going on here . Why would i try and flee the country when everything ive been accused of im innocent of all those crimes . I did not commit . Where are you going then . Im going down to brazil to work on my charity. What charity are you working for . Dogs. Do you say dogs . Yeah. Ive been working on dogs for many years. But you might not have heard about it because im not exactly out there tooting my own horn about it. Like, a lot of people i know, your charity is dogs, so ill make a donation. I love dogs. Oh, yeah. This seems just about right. Okay here we go. All right, well, now, hold on. Now, it seems like youre doing a drug deal, but that is absolutely outrageous. These are neck pillows for my friend dales upcoming vacation. Who is dale . Im dale. Oh, hi, dale. Oh. Oh oh, jesus. George. George, before you run off, why were you charged with Identity Theft . What was going on there . There was no Identity Theft at all. Okay . My husband mathias and i were going undercover as all american teenagers at sagan high to infiltrate an illicit drug ring. Wait, wait, hold on. Sagan. Isnt that the plot of 21 jump street . Wait, i dont even know what youre talking about, jimmy. Ive never heard about that before. Adios, amigo. It looks like i won this round, jimmy. Okay. Yeah, well, hes george bush. Yeah george anyway, you said yesterday youre not planning on resigning despite all these new charges. Why wouldnt you just resign at this point . Because the people of new york or new jersey or wherever im from, they deserve to have a voice. A voice that stands up for the constitution and the rule of law. Yeah, but i have to get back to some important work with my constituents. Okay. Okay. But youre going to wait to brazil to work on dogs . No thats crazy. Im in washington, dc, doing the peoples work right now. Well, it seems like actually, it seems like youre right here. Well, no, jimmy, im not. You know, i get literally, i can see myself behind you. Yeah. Look, its george santos. Everybody all right . No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shut up everybody shut up shut up, shut up, everyone. If the feds come in here, nobody saw me. Okay this is not the congressman you are looking for. Was that a Jedi Mind Trick you just tried . There . Yes, it was. Did it work . No, it did not work. No, it did not. I guess im going to have to run then. Okay. Well, george, you cant keep running. You cant run forever. George were going to catch up to you eventually. And you see, jimmy, thats where youre wrong. Because im always two steps ahead of you. You might have think that you had me cornered, but this was my plan all along. You see my secret kimmel that you dont know is that i thrive in chaos. Okay . Why are you getting into a crate . No, no, thats not a crate. This is a sensory deprivation chamber. Its very peaceful for me. Okay vamanos. Muchachos, until. All right, well, i guess thats. And hes on his way to brazil, and i guess charity work now. All right. Our future former congressman george santos. Oh, my gosh. Well, thats. Thats unfortunate. I hope hes okay. We got a good show for you tonight. Nicole byer is here tonight. We have music from Megan Maroney. And well be right back with sean penn. Kimmel live brought to you by allstate. Some people just know what road to take. Those are the people who know to choose allstate. The surface road is faster, turn left. 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Dayquil severe honey powerful cold and flu symptom relief with a honey licious taste because life doesnt stop for a cold dayquil honey, the daytime coughing, aching, stuffy head fever honey licious power through your day medicine hope is something i think well find welcome back. She is a very shes a very funny actress and comedian whom you can see live at the new york comedy festival november 10th. Nicole byer is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, she is up for two cma awards this year, she has a platinum single, and her album is called lucky, music from megan moroney. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, our guests are josh duhamel, the golden bachelor gerry turner, and music from maneskin. So please jane us for that. Our first guest is an oscar winningactor, director, and real life action hero with a new documentary about another hero reallife action hero called zelenskyy its a superpower. He hate me. He hate us. We dont know why. Your family. Its the same superpower is on paramount. Plus. Now, please say hello to sean penn. See you, sean. First of all, the documentary is great. Its really incredible. You invited me to a screening and it was just gripping where were you in that clip that we just saw . Youre in the bunker, right . Yeah, that was the we had met with the president the day before. It was the first time that id met him facetoface. Wed met on zoom before. We met as we had decided, without cameras, the very first time. Because if he was going to participate in the documentary, i wanted him to be you know, unguarded in a way that might not be with the typical news team or Something Like that. And so we had a very good meeting. And the next and he committed to start shooting the documentary the next day. We went back to the hotel. And by the time my eyes closed, the rockets started coming into kyiv. And then, you know, that and the sirens sort of escorted us into the morning. And then we got a surprising call from the president s office that he was going to continue and go ahead and have the first session of shooting. Jimmy it is an incredible series of events that play out. You do not go over there knowing that russia was about to attack ukraine. You went to, correct me if i have any of this wrong, to make a documentary about zelenskyy . Well, and it was before any news of a russian buildup we know ukraine had been at war, defensively at war, in the east, since 2014. But by and large, a growing democracy in peace in most of the country. We were going to do a lighthearted look at a comic actor jimmy a comedian, he started out as a comedian, became president of this country. Did you now, did your crew so you bring a crew that thinks theyre shooting a lighthearted documentary. And suddenly they are a news crew in wartime. And you guys get a warning from the state department, the United States state department, saying get out of there, its not safe, go home right now . Yeah, well my partners and i, of course, were going to follow whatever story we got. But the other people were ukrainian production crew. And ukrainians dont want to leave ukraine, they want to do anything they can to hold on to and fight for freedom. And those who work in Film Production are no different. They had a belief that what we were there to document might be helpful. Jimmy right. And thats zelenskyy does seem very cognizant of that, that its important for him, even though a war just started the day before, to stop and talk to you and explain the situation. Because of course, we are very insulated. We dont know whats going on in other places. This came as you said, as a surprise, an unpleasant surprise. Yeah. Jimmy this invasion. And you talked to him about this guy had an apartment in russia. Its like, the idea that hes now at war with this country is insane. Yeah. It is so horrible, whats happened. Its such a you know, thought that this when he came in that day, lets say, in that piece that you showed, was as though he was born for this moment. Theres something so incredibly genuine about him. What my goal, once we understood what was happening and that we were no longer making a lighthearted tale of this president , was to give a context that i wouldnt have had just watching the news. And i feel like so many times when ive gone into interesting places jimmy dangerous places, yeah. That there you know, the criticism comes anyway, but its not a surprise to most people that im an opinionated person. But i work very hard in the editing of this film to, you know, not hide that. Its there. But anyone who doesnt agree with me or is prone not to, the point of the film is that you can kind of say, you know, okay, im not that interested in what hes saying now about this, but youll see your own familiar place in this story and in this place. And thats what and the parallel and the way that i think it can be a kind of salvation for whats going on in our countryress its invaluable. Jimmy you see old people, young people, you see there was a scene which was really interesting. You took a group of Fighter Pilots to see top gun maverick. They loved the movie. Even with all of this madness going on, all this conflict, youre able to go to the movies with this guy. And then tragically, one of the pilots that you were with, you became friendly with, was killed in action. Yâ– eah. Jimmy and that is really personalizing it. And this guy, zelenskyy, is also just an incredible person, isnt he . He is. I do want to circle back t andre jus was his call sign. Ive been asked by people in my circle, and out of my circle, i suppose. I do step out of the house sometimes. [ light laughter ] you know. Whats he like . And of any head of state, of any politician, of any head of a large company, theres a time you start to feel the script and the spin. And thats not necessarily a bad thing. Theyre getting through the day, they have an agenda, they dont know that youre understanding when they said it the first time, hammer it so that youre for it. Theres never a moment with him thats not genuine. Deeply genuine. Its something thats happening i think that and hes a ukrainians at this point in time in history, its sort of like its sort of like what i imagine the beatles were coming out of liverpool, you know that special thing happens once is at a certain time. And right now, ukraine is that place. Jimmy has he seen the documentary . Yeah. He saw it. He saw a rough cut of it. Jimmy what did he think . Well im sort of very grateful that hes a filmmaker, because if anyone sees the film, which you can see on paramount plus now, its called superpower. [ laughter ] he doesnt come off great in the first halfhour of the movie. Jimmy yeah, hes unpopular. Hes doing a lot of silly comedy stuff. Yeah. That changes, of course. Jimmy yes, it does. So he stuck with it is what youre saying . Well, when i walked into the office, he had watched it at 6 30 that morning. Hes busy during the day, i suppose. Got it over with in the morning. And i was brought back to his office. And he was sitting with his future staff, andre whos also in the film. He stood up, he looked at me. Ill bet youre glad that i watched the whole thing. Jimmy you were, im sure. He recovers well in the film. Jimmy yeah, he does. He does recover well. Sean penn is with us. His movie is called superpower. His movie is called superpower. Well be right back. Inez, let me ask you, youre using head and shoulders, right . I see flakes. Then i switch back to my regular shampoo you should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. Hes right, you know. Is that tiny troy . The ingredients in head and shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. Microbes, really . Theyre always on your scalp. Little rascals. But good news, theres no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here i love tiny troy. Hes the best. Make every wash count little help, please. You know those mornings when it takes just a mak little bit extrat to get you out of bed . This might be it. Wake up to the goodness of jimmy dean. Chocolate and caramel. And a crunchy cookie . its more than more. Its more. groan errr yes its moreer vampire hissing hmm. Moreer. Theres moreerrr to a twix all right, i got it. We are back with sean penn, nicole byer penn, nicole byer is on the way. You know, when we screened the movie, your daughter was there. She was so proud of you. I thought it was very touching. I wonder, when you are in a situation youve been in many situations. I know you went to haiti. How many times were you in haiti after the earthquake . I lived there for nine straight months the first stretch. But ive been going back and forth to haiti for the last 13 years. Jimmy you were in new orleans just after and during hurricane katrina. Do you with your kids do you have a schedule . Like, im going to check in every day at 2 00 p. M. . Worry if i dont . How do you do that . No, my kids now they know. Now i can say it freely. But basically what i would do with them is tell them, im going to be just fine, then i would call my assistant and say, everythings just fine. You know. Just lie. [ laughter ] say everythings good. Because i had an experience. I had gone to iraq, 2002, before the war started. Then i went back, kids were unhappy about the idea that i was going. And at one point, i remember kind of you could get used to when the lulls there was a lot of explosion of ordnance. Most of that was at the airport. The u. S. Was taking unexploded order nance. But you never knew exactly. A lot of gun fire was vertical. Different neighborhoods saying, weve got fight here. You never really know when there was an engagement just from the sound. But you know it. You do know. I came to know you really do know it. So one time, because the daytime it was a lot of lulls. I do the got a sat phone. I thought, this is the moment, kids are home from school, i can call real quick. Usually very quiet time of day. I went to a wall. I was just as both kids got on the phone, there was a just rap rap rap rap rap rap rap and my son said, what is that, dad . So i never called them from any place again. Jimmy what did you tell them . Did you lie . How do you handle that . I think i did lie. I dont think it was successful. I might have said, oh, its nothing. Jimmy what if they started theyre adults they started going to like ukraine and iraq, et cetera . Would you approve of that . Well, weve got hundreds of thousands of young men and women who are doing that to protect our country. All the time. [ applause ] you know, my children i prefer theyre not in dangerous places. Like, i remember being in ukraine and seeing what happened on television with chris rock at the Academy Awards and will smith. And i didnt like them being in that dangerous place. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy you think this kid had any idea, one day hed be shooting a documentary in the middle of a war . [ laughter ] thats you, right . Yeah. Jimmy i mean, did you ever have any idea that youd be doing anything like this . I know you wanted to be an actor. You know what, im just because we started i dont want to forget. The film is dedicated to that Fighter Pilot that you saw. Jimmy juice, yes. Yeah. And we when we went, just because, you know, its also nice to celebrate the humor of somebody when they sacrifice like he has. So when tom cruise ejects over the desert during the training, ends up in the desert, hes filthy, he makes his way across, finds this oasis, this diner. And he opens the door. Come in the diner, everybody in the place looks at him. Juice leaned over to me in the movie and said, thats why i always take my wallet. [ laughter ] jimmy do you ever call tom cruise, hey, i saw you jump off that building, im in a war . I think he takes a lot more risks than i do, frankly. The statistics, the time i spend in different places, im pretty clever about the risk benefit, i think. Jimmy yeah. No, he goes allout. Jimmy im glad you went over there and documented this story, because it is interesting. And with all the terrible things happening with whats going on in israel, which is certainly deserving of all of our attention, we cannot forget what is also going on in ukraine. Yeah. Jimmy its great to see you. Great to see you. Jimmy the documentary is called superpower. Its on paramount plus. 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Hes getting revenge for what our parents did to him. Oh my god. Were murdering nepo babies. I get those goosebumps every time. Wonderful dance. Meaning from Megan Maroney our next guest is a seventime emmy nominee with four podcasts, two tv shows, and a live show at the new york comedy festival on november 10th. Please welcome nicole byer. [ cheers and applause ] is on the way. Our next guest is a seven time emmy nominee with four podcasts, two tv shows and a live show at the new york comedy festival on november 10th. Please welcome nicole byer. How are you . Oh, im fabulous. How are you . Im great. I like that dress. Thats serious. Dress. I know, right . Jimmy thats serious. It says do you know what it says . I think thats either japanese or i dont read. [ laughter ] jimmy could be anything on there, huh . You know, last how are you . The last time you were here, you spoke about an illfated vacation to the bahamas. Yes. And then everyone in the bahamas said, we hate her jimmy they got real mad at you. They were going through my instagram, posting me and things. I made a post that was like, if youre from the bahamas and youre mad at me, comment here. Ill delete anything nice. And thats what i did. They really came through. [ laughter ] jimmy yeahy did you delete the nice suff . Because it was for the people of the bahamas who hate me. I didnt want positivity, i wanted insults. Jimmy you didnt have a problem with the bahamas. No. Jimmy as much as you had a problem with the hotel, right . Just the hotel and a couple of admithaps, like running out of a gas on a jet ski, which is not the bahamas fault. Jimmy no, you cant blame that on the bahamas. Have you given up vacationing altogether . No. I said, im going everywhere. Bar paid dough, amsterdam, greece, mexico, sonoma. [ laughter ] jimmy this was all just this summer . Uhhuh. Jimmy really . Places you want to enrage . [ laughter ] take some shots at sonoma. People that hate me. Jimmy thats a tough crowd, the sonomaens. Theyre just drunk. Thats why i loved it. Who do you go with on these vacations . Barbados, i went with my family. It was so fun. [ laughter ] jimmy how many people in the family . My sister, aunt, uncle, and grandpa, whos insane. [ laughter ] jimmy is he really . Hes wild. He just turned 95 yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, wow. Yeah. Jimmy oh, wow. Yeah. And he is leaning into it. We left the house at 2 30 for a 5 00 a. M. Flight and hes a halfhour from the airport. I told him, you cannot bring anything, its too early, dont do the math, its too early. Jimmy where were you flying to . Chicago to barbados. Jimmy okay. Im with grandma. Are you . Jimmy im almost a grandpa myself. Yeah. No, because its an international flight. Yeah, but we were connecting in miami, so thats domestic. Jimmy the man is 94 years old at this time. Hes supposed to go running through like o. J. Through the airport . No. [ laughter ] ill run, hes in a wheelchair. Jimmy i see. Hell slide around. I told him, dont bring anything past 3. 5 ounces. He brought two fullsized bottles of cologne. I was like, who are you trying to [ bleep ] in barbados . [ laughter ] jimmy two bottles of cologne . Two. Two. Why . Then he made me read the thing in the seat back pocket. I was like, this plane goes down, were dying. What am i doing . Jimmy did they make him get rid of the cologne . Yes, and he was very upset about it. Jimmy i would imagine so. I didnt hear the end of it. I was like, its 9. 99 at target, ill get you some. And then he didnt call anybody in barbados. He just showed up, knocked on doors, its me, bei bei jimmy these are relatives . Relatives he hasnt seen in a while. Didnt call them. Was like, hey, last time youre gonna see me, im gonna die. Then handed them 50. And i was like, is this a barbadian tradition . To give money, im donna die jimmy really . How many doors did he knock on . I think we went to five. Jimmy wow, 50 apiece. Was he fun on vacation . Fun is relative. We were at the beach and he just took off his bathing suit. The reason was, it was wet. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy he just mooned on the beach . He was nude on the beach and people on the beach, theres a bathroom right there. Hes like, its done. Hes wild. Jimmy how long did he remain nude on the beach . Not that long. Jimmy was it a nude beach . No, no, its a very modest country, barbados. It was not a nude beach. Everyone was really like, what is happening . Im like, this is my grandpa. Jimmy you also, i know this because you posted it, went to go see beyonce. [ cheers and applause ] yes, i did. Jimmy was this here in l. A. . You wore a silver outfit. Everybody had to wear a silver outfit . She told us. Jimmy do you know beyonce at all . No, but i have met her at the vmas. This is when lemonade came rourt she came with her own wifi. What are you, at t . What do you mean . It was wild. Jimmy smart, yeah. Whatever. Shes like walking past me. We were told when she walks past you, you have to stand against the wall with your hands against the wall. Which sounds like overkill. But ive met famous people and ive always tried to hug them before im like, what am i doing . You fell like you know beyonce. They told us not to talk to her. She was so beautiful, i needed to tell her. Youre such a treat. She touched my shoulder, thank you. And i was like, oh, oh, beyonce thanked me jimmy youre such a treat. What a thing. She really is if you think about it. Jimmy you kept your hands on the wall the whole time . Oh, yes, absolutely. Yeah. Jimmy youre playing the Apollo Theater as part of the new york comedy festival, which is a big deal. This is a historic theater. Big deal. Jimmy have you played there before . No, never. Growing up, i would watch showtime at the apollo. Jimmy yeah, sandman. Watch people get booed. You i dont worry about getting bad, people want to come, i think. Jimmy theyre paying to see you. If youre paying to boo you, theyve wasted a good deal of money. I think so. Im excited. I lived in harlem for so long. I walked past the apollo. Jimmy its moments like that that really mean something. Truly. Jimmy its funny how some of the big things dont mean that much, then the things like the Apollo Theater youre absolutely right. Jimmy youre on wipeout which is on tbs with john cena. Yes. Jimmy that is coming back. For season two. Jimmy season two right there in the beginning of november. Uhhuh. Jimmy and youve got 12 podcasts now, which is too many podcasts. I know, i love to talk. [ laughter ] jimmy and youre nominated for an emmy right now. Yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy everythings good. Yeah. Jimmy you know what . I got to tell you something id be like, next time you walk through the hall, beyonce should put her hand on this the wall for you. [ cheers and applause ] you know, that was a kind sentiment. Jimmy and one more apology to the bahamas . You know no. [ laughter ] jimmy no, okay. See nicole byer at the new york comedy festival, november 10th, at the Apollo Theater. Thank you, nicole. Well be back with Megan Maroney oh, its says things. You know what it says . Because i think thats either japanese or read. Yeah, okay. Could be anything on there. You know . Alas. How are you . Because the last time you were here, you spoke about an ill fated vacation to the bahamas. Yes. And then everyone in the bahamas said we hate her. Yeah, they got mad. They got real mad at you. Yea i got it. Thanks to sean penn and nicole byer. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next. Refers to her album is called lucky here at the song tennessee orange. Megan maroney. Mama im callin ive got some news dont you tell daddy hell blow a fuse dont worry im doin okay i know you raised me to know right from wrong it aint what you think and im still writin songs just never thought id see the day ive never felt this way i met somebody and hes got blue eyes he opens the door and he dont make me cry he aint from where were from but he feels like home yeah hes got me doin things ive never done in georgia theyd call it a sin im wearin tennessee orange for him took me to knoxville last saturday and i wore the hat on his dash to the game it sure wasnt athens but i fell for him under those neyland lights i met somebody and hes got blue eyes he opens the door and he dont make me cry he aint from where were from but he feels like home yeah hes got me doin things ive never done in georgia theyd call it a sin im wearin tennessee orange for him i like him a l mama, im calling ive got some news. Dont you tell daddy hell blow a fuze. Dont worry. Im doing okay. I know you raised me to know right from wrong and i aint what you think. And im still writing songs. Just never thought id see the day. Ive never felt this way. I met somebody. Hes got blue and he opens the door and he dont make me cry. He aint from w that makes me forget ive always looked better in red but i met somebody and hes got blue eyes he opens the door and he dont make me cry he aint from where were from but he feels like home yeah hes got me doin things ive never done i met somebody and hes got blue eyes he opens the door and he dont make me cry he aint from where were from but he feels like home yeah hes got me doin things ive never done in georgia theyd call it a sin and i still want the dawgs to win but im wearin tennessee orange for him [ ch juju tonight, racing home. I was lucky enough to get a ticket. Juju israelis around the world heading back toss motherland to fight. Were going to go in, were going to ensure we only come out when every single one of the last Hamas Terrorists are gone. Juju hamas continues its relentless assaults as israel retaliates. Conditions in gaza increasingly desperate. Theres no fuel, theres no power. Hops are on the