Lou from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight Billie Eilish and finneas. Whitney cummings. And music from grace potter. With cleto and the cletones. And now jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi. Welcome. Welcome. Hi, there. Im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us on an important day, a very important day of Online Shopping here in the united states. Its october prime day on amazon exclusively for prime members, which is, everyone. In the world. [ laughter ] its not to be confused, october prime day, not to be confused with the multiple other prime days. This is a twoday event. And theyve got some great deals on musthave items like a pickle that yodels. [ laughter ] a cat scratcher shaped like a tongue. A banana goose. Plastic pork. And a delicious can of spam maple flavor. I dont like to give hints, but those would make some pretty fine Christmas Gifts for you know who, guillermo. Guillermo i know who, yeah. Jimmy joe biden spent his october prime day trying to figure out where the hell this woman, alexa, who keeps yelling at him, is hiding. [ laughter ] President Biden spent much of yesterday being interviewed as part of the special counsels investigation into the classified documents that somehow ended up at his home and old office. Although, technically, any office that belonged to joe biden is an old office. [ laughter ] and of course, maralardo had some thoughts on that. He wrote, i see that Crooked Joe Biden is working on his documents situation. Wait, i thought it was crooked hillary. [ laughter ] hes get so lazy, he used to put so much thought into those nicknames. He moved documents, many classified, all over the place, for years, including to chinatown. He even took documents as a senator, an absolute no, no i come under the president ial records act, he doesnt. A big difference i did nothing wrong, he did, and so did many others this is precisely how my 6yearold defends himself. [ laughter ] i didnt do anything. They did these things and this was good. When i went to truth social to see this dopey post for myself. Directly under the post was an ad trumpeting the four Early Warning signs of dementia. [ laughter ] complete with, that might be donald trump in a dress, im not sure. [ laughter ] i think we all know our social media algorithms well enough to know thats not an accident. Thats like when youre constipated, and you suddenly get an ad for metamucil. Youre like, hm. [ laughter ] it really is crazy how much republicans dont care about trumps insane handling of classified documents but do care about joe bidens. Its almost like theyre applying two entirely different standards. Maybe even a double standard. Or in trumps case, a bacon double standard. [ laughter ] at the white house today, President Biden gave a speech forcefully condemning the evil attacks on israel by hamas. He confirmed that americans are among those taken hostage, and that at least 14 americans were killed. Hes vowed to do everything in his power to bring americans home safely while the magalorian is on a full, allcaps alert. Writing, i kept israel safe nobody else will, nobody else can, and i know all of the players [ laughter ] kevlar,and get over there, mcrib rambo [ laughter ] trump would like us to believe that his mere presence wouldve kept hamas out of israel and russia out of ukraine. This is from a guy who couldnt even keep kanye out of maralago. [ laughter ] but its pretty clear that at this point, hes got no connection with reality. All he can see is perfect phone calls and unfair witch hunts, elections he won, wars he would have prevented. We could right now build a Little Oval Office in a Mental Institution and put him in there, tell him hes been reinstated as president , hed be perfectly content. [ laughter ] drawing on weather maps. Pushing that little red diet coke button. [ laughter ] hed be happy, wed be happy. Lets get it done, i mean, come on already. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, trumps associates in the crazy business have been making the most of this attack on israel. Ever since that caravan of dangerous immigrants turned out to be figments of their imagination, theyve been looking for something new to rile people up. So the lied piper is now pushing the idea that hamas is in mexico. The same people that raided israel are pouring into our once beautiful usa, through our totally open southern border, at record numbers. Are they planning an attack within our country . Crooked joe biden and his boss, Barack Hussein obama, did this to us [ laughter ] if you dont believe him, take it from the jewish space laser lady herself, Marjorie Taylor greene. What happened to israel could happen to america because our country has been invaded by millions of people from over 160 countries. Jimmy 160 . Thats almost all the countries. [ laughter ] that would mean were being invaded by belgium, maybe poland. Hordes of belgian and polish immigrants are sneaking in here with their waffles and kielbasa. [ laughter ] and the Gazpacho Police do nothing about it they let them ride right in. Its hard to believe that people are dumb enough to believe this stuff. But when you hear donald trump talk about the state of our School Systems it starts to make sense. So we have the worst education, almost, in the large world. The the world that people know about. Jimmy yes, yes, the large world. [ laughter ] the world that people know about. Sometimes his mouth just says things like a broken furby or something [ laughter ] this is our second week back to work after five months on strike. [ cheers and applause ] weve had a lot of positive comments and compliments since our return. Including from none other than our old my pillow pal, mike lindell, who despite all he is going through seems pretty okay with us. Jimmy kimmel came back the other night, the first show back, he had to talk about you. [ laughter ] when row is it, brad . Jimmy kimmel came back, first show, he had to talk about you. It wasnt too bad. Jimmys kind of torn. He didnt call me names when he said in our he might have even said our good friend mike lindell. He did call me mike lindell. He said, mike lindell had problems this summer. He had problems this summer, and hes got financial woes, and of course then they went to the other mike. When he was talking about me, you know, he doesnt hes come a long way. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you. You know what . I [ applause ] ive grown up a lot over the last couple of years, thank you for noticing, mike. [ laughter ] last time mike was on the show, he did it on the condition my condition that he be interviewed from inside a dave busters claw machine. [ laughter ] and even that doesnt seem to bother him. Just think of a guy like jimmy kimmel would come to his senses, go hey, we do need to fix our election platforms, right . Yep. Maybe jimmy, maybe this time when i come back on Jimmy Kimmels show, you know im calling him kimmel. Ive learned his last name. [ laughter ] maybe when he invites me back, i wont have to be in the claw machine. Thats right. That was to do it, to make it fun for the country and the audience. Jimmy yeah, well, maybe next time well put you in a giant container of chinese food or something. A big oversized carton of chicken chow mein, mikes in there ordering a baby pool with floaties on. That would be cute, right . [ laughter ] speaking of cute congressman George Santos is in a lot of trouble right now. Were finally at the part of pinocchio where he gets swallowed by the whale. [ laughter ] prosecutors today charged santos. Hes now facing 23 counts, including conspiracy, wire fraud, aggravated identity theft, credit card fraud, making materially false statements to the fec, money laundering, and falsification of records. Basically all the crimes [ laughter ] he has been charged with. Santos is expected to plead, new phone, who dis . [ laughter ] really, i cant believe they charged him with identity theft. Can you really blame would you want to be George Santos . [ laughter ] how much fun would it be if he and donald trump wind up sharing a cell together . [ moans and applause ] the state of california this weekend california became the first state to ban four potentially harmful chemicals found in a lot of our favorite foods. The law, which goes into effect in 2027, bans companies from using potassium bromate, brominated vegetable oil, propylparabens or red dye no. 3. Which, listen, you can take my red dye no. 3 and propylparabens all you like, but youll have to pry the potassium bromate out of my cold, dead hands. [ laughter ] some of the products that are affected are pez, double bubble, and skittles. Apparently, this rainbow weve been tasting is not go [ laughter ] are we going to have to start driving to the border of nevada to get skittles now . Needless to say, the Candy Companies are upset about the new law, but other snack makers are seeing opportunity and embracing it. No skittles . No hot tamales . No problem. Get into a box of the oldest, wringliest candy around, raisins. Thats right. Raisins. Theyre not just for the bottom of a snack bag anymore. Give a kid this shriveled little treat. Theyll be hooked for life. It looks like a dead bug. But its not. Its actually an old grape. Try it. It tastes dysgusting. Delicious. And great in baked goods too. Ugh [ bleep ] raisins in it . You [ bleep ] bet there are. So dont fret, candy fans. This stuff sucks. When your double bubble disappears, chew on raisins who raisins . Who raisins . Who raisins . Brought to you by nerds. [ applause ] jimmy one thing we dont have to worry about here in Southern California is snakes. There are not a ton of snakes here, which were grateful for. Theres a neighborhood in Oklahoma City right now where the locals have an increasingly large problem on their hands. This snake was captured on camera in birchwood, 6 feet long in june, now 13 feet. The park is right next to bryant elementary school, no gates stopping it from slithering over. News 4 spoke with trifr bounds of red beard wildfire life who was hired to get the snake out. Bounds said its been surviving under one of the homes and might be eating cats. Half the cats in the neighborhood are missing. [ laughter ] jimmy lets not jump to conclusions. [ laughter ] maybe the cats flew south for the winter, you know . In other big news, researchers in spain have determined that more than 1500 different species of animals have sexual encounters with animals of the same gender. According to the study, animals have been engaging in homosexual activity as a way to reduce conflict. I guess thats i dont know, thats how they reduce conflict . [ laughter ] pennsylv apparently these scientists have never seen an episode of rupauls drag race. [ laughter ] and while im not an expert on animal behavior, we have a very knowledgeable writer who is. And so we turn now to our friend louis virtel. Who is here to virtel it like it is. [ cheers and applause ] as the gay communitys most respected zoologist, after years of research, and a great deal of prayer, i am proud to reveal the five gayest animals of all time. [ laughter ] are you ready . [ cheers and applause ] coming in at number five, bats. More than 20 species of bat have been found to exhibit homosexual behavior. Like the vampire bat. The comoro flying fox bat. And, of course, the thicklynippled bat of gotham city. [ laughter ] its cold in the batcave. Heres an interesting fact. Two male bats will hang belly to belly, each with an erect penis. One male then works his tongue over the entire body of the other male. The other one just lays back and plays wordle. [ laughter ] next up, the fourth gayest animal, the majestic giraffe. Some estimate that homosexuality among giraffes is more common than heterosexuality. I believe it. Look at them. [ laughter ] theyre sauntering around slowly, literally looking down on others, and . A fabulous but tasteful patterned print. [ laughter ] g is for gay [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] okay, number three on the list . Dolphins. The twinks of the sea. [ laughter ] theyre shiny, theyre delightful, and when they get together in a group, this is true, to have sex, its called a wuzzle. [ laughter ] and that word, to me, is the epitome of the gay community. Proudly at the crossroads of gross and adorable at all times. [ laughter ] coming in at number two, the second gayest animal, the greyhound. [ laughter ] i dont know if greyhounds are gay, but everybody on the planet named clayton or sumner seems to own one, and thats close enough. [ laughter ] only a greyhound. Would any other dog be pretentious enough to be seen in a turtleneck . No. [ laughter ] thats why greyhounds get the gay silver medal. And the number one gayest animal is no, not flamingos. You might think flamingos are gay, but hanging out in the yard all day wearing pink is not queer, its frat boy. [ laughter ] stay alert. The number one gayest animal is the penguin. [ cheers and applause ] get this. A scientist named George Murray levick first documented homosexual behavior in penguins in 1911. He called it depraved. And wrote his findings in greek letters so it wouldnt get out. [ laughter ] he went all the way to antarctica just to put penguins in the closet. [ laughter ] but that was then and this is now. Penguins are free to hold fins, march in parades, dress in fitted tuxedos, even their feet are happy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] look at this couple. Skip and ping from the berlin zoo. Two male penguins who adopted an egg together. Congratulations, you stubby little queens [ laughter ] and those are the five gayest animals. Now if youll excuse me, i have a date with a vampire bat [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lewis virtel, everybody. Thank you, lewis. Lewis virtel, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a good show for you tonight. Whitney cummings is here. We have music from grace potter. And well be right back with Billie Eilish and phineas. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there. Welcome back. Tonight, her brandnew comedy special is called mouthy. The very funny, and very pregnant, Whitney Cummings is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, an exceptionally talented singer songwriter. Her latest album is called mother road. Music from grace potter. [ cheers and applause ] you can see grace on tour starting november 1st at stage ae in pittsburgh, pa. Tomorrow night, well be joined by sean penn and nicole byer with music from megan moroney. So join us then. Like hansel and gretel, bart and lisa, luke and leia, our first guests are bound by some very talented dna. They are grammy and oscar winning singersongwriters. Their latest smash hit is called what was i made for . Please welcome Billie Eilish and phineas. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . This is fun, i have to say. Besides you guys being you guys, i dont think ive ever had a brother and sister on the show together. I feel like we could really get into some stuff with the two of you out here. Correct. Jimmy you know what im saying . Uhhuh. Jimmy first of all, finneas, you love a last name, billie has a last name. [ laughter ] what happened . Your parents run out of money . What happened there . Well, my names three syllables. Then our, like, legal last name is another three syllables. Just felt really clunky. Im a big fan of cher, so [ laughter ] jimmy its a big swing to go for the one name deal. Were you upset by this . Ive been so mines Billie Eilish oconnell. His is finneas oconnell. Ive been going since Billie Eilish since i was a little baby. Jimmy you made that decision early . Uhhuh. Jimmy what about your dad . Is he upset that youve rejected him outright . [ laughter ] its just like not the sickest last name, you know . [ laughter ] just like jimmy its a solid last name, oconnell. No . If we had a potato farm. [ laughter ] jim. Its very, very irish. Billie eilish, it doesnt get any more irish. Jimmy its pretty irish. Nothing wrong with that. You could get a potato farm, you guys could easily buy a potato farm. Shall we this. Jimmy your parents go on tour with you . Yeah. Jimmy both of them . Yeah. Jimmy what do they do when theyre on tour with you . So i just have our parents come out just to be, like, my parents. I like to bring them out because i like them and i want their company and whatever. And our dad likes to be how would you start this topic . He wants to be useful so bad. A [ laughter ] which i respect and love. And he does, like, set carpentry on our tour. Like, as the tours bigger when we started he was helping drive the van, carrying amps into is venues. Now hes one of the set carpenters. He builds the stage every day. He works as one of the carps dad, we need a bench. [ laughter ] literally he builds stair staircases and stuff, sweeps the floor. Jimmy serious . Yeah, the crew stays in different hotels, they have different buses, they have different calls. He wont tell anybody on the crew his full name. Because he doesnt want anyone to know jimmy they must know. How would they not know . I this they know, but he doesnt want any nepotism, doesnt want any special treatment at all. Jimmy thats kind of great, i guess. Does your mom have to stay in the crew hotel . No, moms with me. Jimmy mom stays with you . Yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy do you guys always get along . You do seem to really like each other. Maybe im i dont know, maybe i dont know you that well. But it does seem like you really like each other, and you Work Together, which is its hard to keep people together. You Work Together so much. Are there things about each other that drive you crazy . [ laughter ] what do you think . Jimmy i would imagine there must be, yeah. Theres a good chunk. But [ laughter ] well, its like i dont know. Jimmy whoever goes first sets the tone for the response. [ laughter ] i was just going say whats cool about it is that, you know, when we get into something, we can have we can blow up at each other. We can have arguments or whatever. We honestly dont as much as we did when we were children, yeah. Children, yeah. But when we do, its like because were siblings like if you were to have the kind of argument that we can have, like with a friend or a partner, its so damaging. It can really, like, change your dynamic. But with siblings its like, you know you love each other, you know that nothings going to you cant break up. You cant really separate. Or at least we dont want to. I dont know. Yeah. Dont you have like every cousin and son and partner in the building right now . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, working, yeah. But its a little different, because theres a hierarchy. Is it theres jimmy way at the top. Way, way at the top. Theres a total hierarchy here. Jimmy there is . Same my name, see the crowd response. Say her name, see the crowd response. [ laughter ] jimmy you only have one name, shes got two, you screwed up. Musically if theres a disagreement, how do you resolve it . If we both disagree passionately, like we make our arguments. Then usually one person dies on the hill. One person cant let goff it, the other lets go of it. Thats really how we do it. The other one usually sees the light. Oh, you would right about that idea. I feel weve both done that a lot. Yeah, we have. Jimmy can you think of an example where you thought something was not great, turned out it was . We both had on what was i made for there was a terrible verse that went away. Billie was the first one to be like, we have to kill this, this verse is awful. [ laughter ] so bad, it was bad. I was like, you think so . Upon revisiting it later, so bad. Jimmy are you hard on yourselves when it comes to lyrics and certain song if you look back at an old song . Yes, for sure. Yes. Jimmy there is a song in particular that you look back on that makes you uncomfortable . Cringe a little . Well, objectively, bad guy is the stupidest song in the world. But its really good. [ laughter ] oh my god, oh my god. But you have to understand, you have to have humor in it. That song, im traveling. Know what im saying . That song is supposed to be goofy. Its funny because its dumb. [ laughter ] its literally, like, huh . What does that mean . Jimmy i dont know, but it works. It works. Jimmy you can overthink things sometimes, outsmart yourself. Yeah. Jimmy ill tell you something that song comes on in our house, our kids are waiting for the duh. They love the duh. I would say we talk about this a lot. Finneas and i, question find of i think simultaneously both really disagree with when an artist, like, very i dont know, hateful towards their own music. Jimmy right. I dont like my music, i dont ever listen to my music. I find it really frustrating, because why are you doing this, then . I and finneas, i think, i dont want to speak for you, i feel like we both are big fans what was we make. Like, i love my own music. And it definitely just, like, changes and morphs with me. It becomes whatever. But its i still cringe. I just appreciate it, though. Jimmy right. As you grow, you look back at the things you did and you get better at things, you go, oh, i wish nobody could see that, but it means Something Different to them. When we come back, well see you were talking about your big hit single. We have a i think a very interesting look into your process when we come back. Finneas and Billie Eilish are here with us. [ cheers and applause ] feeling sluggish or weighed down . Could be a sign that your digestive system isnt at its best. But a little metamucil everyday can help. Metamucils psyllium fiber gels to trap and remove the waste that weighs you down and also helps lower cholesterol and slows sugar absorption to promote healthy blood sugar levels. So you can feel lighter and more energetic. Lighten every day the metamucil way. And for a delicious way to promote Digestive Health try metamucil fiber thins. Who says you cant go for bold without going broke. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. Tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. [sfx oven ding] we make sitdown chicken. Standup chicken. Backyard chicken. Oops chicken. And allsmiles chicken. If theres one thing we know, its chicken, chicken and chicken. More choices. More wow. [sfx oven ding] more to love. Tyson. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, there. Were back with Billie Eilish and finneas. Theyre calling them the new donny and marie. [ laughter ] you guys well, you know, were not talking about projects that are struck. We have a strike going on here. You made a big hit song called what was i made for that has been times. You guys ever think about the numbers and how mindboggling that is . Pretty nuts. Its a lot of thats a lot of listens. Jimmy 600 million times. You guys recorded the song, it goes out in the world, there are people who just listen to it over and over and over again. Yeah. Jimmy i mean, thats how it works, i guess. Yeah. Its really jimmy i just explained the process of recording music. Its still kind of amazing. How do you go about writing a song that someone asked you to write . Good question. Honestly, yeah, it is a good question. I would actually say that its like to be frank, its like where i, and i think finneas and i together, kind of, like, thrive. I think that when we are given a prompt, that is when we make, like, my kind of favorite thing. I feel like its pretty hard, honestly, for me to write my exact feeling. I feel like that kind of goes for your life in general. Its like, its hard to know how you feel in the moment. Its much easier to look back, like damn, thats how i was feeling. I feel like i do that a lot. With music, i kind of hard to sit and write how im feeling from my own perspective and my own experience and my own i have this feeling of, ugh, boring, nobody cares. Everyones heard that before. I feel like when im given a prompt and given a story to write about jimmy an assignment, kind of. Yeah. Jimmy its like homework in a way. Yeah. Yeah, and what was crazy about this song is that it it was an assignment, then it turned out to be exactly how i felt. Jimmy interesting. So then it was kind of trippy yeah. Jimmy do you guys videotape your recording sessions always . We have the past like the pat past year . 12 months, yeah, a camcorder. We made a documentary a couple of years ago. We had a crew. We had a boom operator and a camera operator always in the room. And its pretty hard to forget that two people are there when theyre, like, that close to you. Yeah. So we thought it would be an interesting experiment to bring our own cameras in. Like if billies singing or playing piano or guitar, ill film her, and vice versa. Its been so dangerous because you forget that its all recorded. Weve blackmailed ourselves for years. [ laughter ] its crazy. Were just talking ish the whole time. Jimmy you guys are kind of working through this song. And i guess this is how you write songs. You just try things and you sit there. And youre shooting this, finneas . Probably on a shelf. Sitting in a corner. Jimmy almost like a ring cam type of situation. Weve been filming the whole creation of the next album were working on. Jimmy this is how a a song thats been listened to more than 600 million times is made. Made for what im made for jimmy thats when you realized . [ cheers and applause ] thats when you did the made for part . Uhhuh. Jimmy seems like it would be the first thing you came up with when youre singing about a doll. Uhhuh. Jimmy thats pretty crazy. Yeah. Jimmy did you guys both have a moment of excitement where you knew, oh, thats it . Honestly, no. It was funny. Jimmy just me . [ laughter ] it was this random day in january. And we had had, like honestly, id been there for six hours. We hadnt come up with anything. We were very uninspired. Not just being so unproductive. And i was like, honestly, probably had my keys in my hand. Was walking out the door, like okay, this day is trash. And finneas was like, should we just try to write this one . And i sat back down. And he started playing those chords immediately. And then i wrote together we wrote, i used to float, now i fall down, i used to know, now im not sure what im made for. As soon as we finished what was i made for, that sentence was like, oh, okay. Jimmy unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] persistence. Yeah. We wrote the whole song, pretty much the whole song, except for like the last verse, in, like, an hour or two that night. Jimmy wow. Crazy. It was really cool. Jimmy six hours of struggling, then it comes bursting. Almost like having a baby. [ laughter ] you would totally know. Jimmy its great to have you guys here. Thank you for coming. Their song what was i made for . Its out now. Billie eilish and finneas, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] well be back with Whitney Cummings. Of my moderate somedays, i cover up be to severe plaque psoriasis. Now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. uplifting music nothing is everything im celebrating my clearer skin. My way. With skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90 clearer skin at 4 months. In another study, most people had 90 clearer skin, even at 5 years. And skyrizi is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. 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Mushroom humidifier. Futuristic coat rack. Tells you how many coats are on it. Two. All that chocolate and caramel. And a ghoulish green cookie itsits more than more. Its more. groan errr yes its moreer all right [zombie arm pulls off] that costume is moreer whoa. Theres moreerrr to a twix [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there. Music from grace potter is on the way. Our next guest is a comedian, actor, writer, producer and roaster who is growing a human inside her as i speak. Her new comedy special mouthy premieres november 15th on onlyfans tv. Please welcome Whitney Cummings. [ cheers and applause ]. Jimmy you look great, and congratulations. Thank you. Following Billie Eilish . This is a nightmare. [ laughter ] shes so cool. Like, why . Im sorry you had to see the coolest person on the planet, now youre staring at a pregnant lady in a leotard. [ laughter ] did you see i cant sit like that ill start crowning. [ laughter ] jimmy you might, yeah. Oh my gosh. Jimmy how are you feeling . Im good. I feel good. I feel good. Jimmy this is your first child . First child. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. I know. I got pregnant naturally at 40 years old. Im convinced its a vaccine injury. [ laughter ] i got the johnson johnson, so who knows whats even in here . [ laughter ] who knows. If you get pregnant on the johnson johnson, i dont know what comes out, actual baby powder . [ laughter ] jimmy do you know if youre having a boy or a girl . Im having a boy baby. [ cheers and applause ] having a boy. Although i wasnt obsessed with the gender. I didnt care. Everyone needs to know the gender, parties, i mean we live in l. A. , i get an invite to a gender reveal every month for the same kid. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i feel because i always want to know the gender. I feel like in l. A. You didnt even ask. Ill see a pregnant lady, boy or a girl . Theyre like, the baby will tell us its gin der when its 3 weeks old. Im like, all right. You know, sounds like some rich person stuff to me. I grew up poor. When you grow up poor, youre whatever gender your older sibling was. [ laughter ] i wore a hockey jersey to school until i was 12. I identified as a goalie. [ laughter ] jimmy the handmedowns determine it. Thats it. Jimmy are you do you have a name planned . Are you that far ahead . Okay, so i was really, really stuck on the name maximus. Jimmy you were . Then i remembered my last name is cummings. [ laughter ] jimmy yes. Thats its a tough pairing. A tough last name. Jimmy yeah. Then a family name is richard. Jimmy oh, yeah, yeah. You know what i mean . Jimmy yeah. Then i really like the name colt. Jimmy okay. Im a horse lady. Jimmy oh. Then i found out that come cull meetings is the biggest gay porn star on the planet. Jimmy is that true . Thats true, thats true. You totally sold me on that. Jimmy he wont be in 15 years. You know, the shelf life i think is short enough that your colt cummings could be fine. Its interesting. Guests are talking about names. I found out when youre naming a kid theres a book i was reading. I guess your last name indicates what your ancestors did for a living. [ laughter ] so if its baker, they were probably bakers. Tanner, they were tanning leather. What were my ancestors doing . [ laughter ] jimmy making more ancestors. Are you so youre on tour. Do you recommend being on tour while with child . I feel great. Everyone was so worried about me. Im glad i waited this long. If i im so glad i waited till i was a mature adult to get pregnant. If i had had a pregnancy, even a year sooner, i would have sold the baby for taylor swift tickets. [ laughter ] this is bestcase scenario. Jimmy are you nervous about how much your life will change . I dont people keep warning me about stuff. Like, everyones telling me im going to get postpartum depression. Jimmy oh, yeah. I already have prepartum depression, feel like im ahead of it. Thats the big thing everybody is worried i look it up. Google postpartum depression. It says no known cause, like we dont know the cause. Are there no female doctors . Are there still not im not a doctor but i feel i can take a stab at what my pause, postpartum depression could it be that both your holes become one hole . [ laughter ] then a tiny vampire starts gnawing on your boobs until it looks like you got shot . Then you start balding and none of your cool friends will talk to you . Like, am i a doctor . [ laughter ] jimmy do you have a plan . People like to make a plan, they have a kid, they have a plan, a whole deal . My plan is to survive. Jimmy thats good. The birth. Youve done this four times now. Jimmy thats correct. What my what should my plan be . W. Jimmy well, i didnt do the hard part. [ laughter ] you had to watch it. Jimmy as my wife likes to remind me often. You know what, actually, bill murray gave us great advice. I think this is excellent advice. He said, bring Christmas Lights into the delivery room. Then instead of those terrible fluorescent lights that every hospital has, you can lower or turn those off and bring some batterypowered Christmas Lights so you dont unplug something important. [ laughter ] and it gives a pleasant environment. Sure. Jimmy almost like santas sliding a gift down the chimney. [ laughter ] you know . The only thing that seems more laborious than actual labor is untangling last years Christmas Lights. [ laughter ] jimmy get some fresh ones. Ill get you some lights. [ applause ] i feel like your wife was like, hey, can you tell them to get the she just needed them to be untangled. Please tell my husband to untangle the Christmas Lights in the storage unit. Jimmy your new comedy special, the audience laughed when i said it was on onlyfans tv. Laugh all you want. Jimmy they thought it was a joke. Im going to laugh all the way to the bank. [ cheers and applause ] if i dont get 600 million streams like Billie Eilish, i will livestream my birth. On onlyfans. [ laughter ] jimmy its premiering right around the time, right . It is really. So theres onlyfans, which is the subscription service. Then theres onlyfans tv, which is their new streaming service, which is not naughty. Jimmy its not . Its not. A lot of comedy i did the Comedy Central roasts, they stopped doing those, so we started doing them again on only fans tv. We did the roast of me. Now im doing their first standup special. Because its a tricky time to be a comic. I dont have to tell you. Theres certain things you cant even say on youtube anymore. Theyll demonetize you, age restrict you. Comedians are looking for a home to be filthy pigs again. [ laughter ] jimmy where better than onlyfans . Yeah. Say uncensored stuff. Jimmy its great to see you. I wish you great health and a lot of luck with the baby. And whatever. James is a nice name. I love james. Jimmy great, lets do it. I love james. Jimmy lets do it. Theres a lot of names i like people will just say the worst person that has that name. Jimmy yeah. I like the name rudy. Giuliani jimmy yeah, right. You dont need to yell villains at me. [ laughter ] jimmy again, he wont be around by the time it matters. Its been dead for 40 years. [ laughter ] jimmy Whitney Cummings, everybody. Mouthy premieres november 15th on onlyfans tv. And see her live october 13th in erie, pennsylvania, and october 14th in washington, pennsylvania. Tickets are available at whitneycummings. Com. Well be back with grace potter. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks to Billie Eilish, finneas, and Whitney Cummings. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next, but first, her album is called mother road. Here with the song good time. Grace potter [ cheers and applause ] i used to drive to montreal look up at the departure wall and buy me a ticket to anywhere i never been id look at my planet from above meet the pilot maybe make love touch down and let that city sweep me off my feet take me back to the good times when i drank up life like i drink my wine whys there always gotta be a window in between me and everything and everyone i wanna see cause we cant go out but we still wanna dance we cant go out but we still want a chance for love ohohohoh no we cant go out but i still wanna sing cant go out but i still wanna bring back love ohohohoh theres got to be a way that we can turn this ship around ah cause you cant keep a good time down cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time down in my dancehall dreams im a benevolent queen riding on a white horse across a dance floor ive got flowers in my hair and theres sugar in the air i wanna live my whole life like its the last night at studio54 ohohoh baby, take me back to the good times when i drank up life like i drink my wine whys there gotta be a window in between me and everything and everyone i wanna see cause we cant go out but i still wanna dance cant go out but i still need a chance for love ohohohoh no we cant go out but i still wanna sing i cant go out but i still wanna bring back love ohohohoh theres got to be a way that we can turn this ship around cause you cant keep you cant keep cant keep cant keep cant keep a good, good you cant keep a good time down cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time down cant keep cant keep a good time down cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time down cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time cant keep cant keep a good time down [ cheers and applause ] tonight, horrors in israel. It is pearl harbor and 9 11 and the holocaust. This was not war. This was terror. A searing look at the death and destruction. Theyre still taking out bodies. They havent even